


I Told You Not To Fall For Me

by xolovevelyn



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Adaptation, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bottom Lu Han, Fanfiction, Heavy Angst, K-pop References, Love, M/M, Romance, Sad with a Happy Ending, Top Oh Sehun
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-11
Updated: 2018-03-07
Packaged: 2018-09-07 21:29:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 43,864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8816842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xolovevelyn/pseuds/xolovevelyn
Summary: Just when Luhan was about to move on from being rejected back in high school, Oh Sehun surprisingly came back five years later as his fiance.Secrets were then revealed. The past was brought up. And most importantly, the reason behind Sehun's painful rejection returned too.Should Luhan let go of their tied knot or should he keep on fighting for something that was barely holding it in the first place?





	1. Azalea

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Jauh Dari Cinta](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/247000) by Adah Hamidah. 



Luhan slowly closed the door of his bedroom before heading towards the window, staring into the night.

 

It happened again. 

 

The cause of Luhan's severe headache: his dad was at it again. He got a call last night informing him to come home, which meant something was probably wrong. Like he was told, Luhan was already on the road as soon as his last class ended, which was late in the evening. Not to mention that even though the drive from Gangnam to Pyeongchang wasn't that long, an hour drive ended up being a 2-hour drive with Luhan, who cared about his own safety.

 

Just like what he was expecting, he received a marriage proposal again. This time, it was from one of Mr Lu's old friends. It was the fourth proposal that he'd ever received in his 24 years of living. His future fiance is a guy. It wasn't the first time he'd received a proposal from a man -- with that face, he can easily put girls to shame. 

 

But Luhan was still young; he didn't like being tied down with responsibility. He had big dreams of travelling after he graduated, wanted to explore the beauty of the world.

 

Why do I get the feeling that I can't reject this proposal? Luhan let out a heavy sigh. He plopped himself down on his bed, comfort rushing through him immediately. He missed his bed after not being able to go home that often for the past few months. He was about to drift off to sleep when suddenly a knock was heard at his door. 

 

 

Mrs Lu peeked in from outside the door, a broad smile on her face. "Haven't slept yet?" 

 

Luhan got up and faced his mother, who had made her way to the side of his bed. "I was about to but since you're here, I can't now." He gave his mother a teasing smile which disappeared as soon as he realised why Mrs. Lu was in his room.

 

"Honey, you don't need to think much about it." The proposal. "Follow your own heart. If you don't agree, tell your dad okay? I'm not going to force you. Remember! You decide your life, sweetie." She said, giving him a soft smile and ruffling his not-so-styled hair. Luhan fiddled with his fingers before answering.

 

"I think it's alright, mum. Dad has always been worried about me. I... don't know, mum. Dad had sacrificed so much for me. This time, I'm gonna tolerate it and think about it first." He gave his mother a smile that only he knew the true meaning of -- nothing he'd just said was sincere and from the heart. He'd only said it to reassure his parents and hoped that his mother could understand what he was suggesting. He hoped that she would help soften the blow of his rejection when she told his father, protecting his heart.

 

"It's up to you, Luhan. As your mother, I just want the best for you. If that's your decision, I'll gladly accept it." Mrs Lu gave his hand a few squeezes before kissing his forehead softly.

 

Once she was out of his room, Luhan again let out a heavy sigh. It doesn't seem like she got the actual meaning behind my words just now. Why is my life so complicated?

 

He'd felt tired before his mum burst into his room but not anymore. He knew it was going to be a sleepless night -- not just for today, but for the next few nights.

 

 

_

 

 

I woke up at seven after hearing the loud, clashing sound of utensils in the kitchen -- my mum must be cooking. My body was so sore as I got up from my bed. God knows what time I fell asleep last night. I desperately wanted to continue my beauty sleep and I felt drained without any energy, but I needed to talk to my father. I hoped mum delivered my words to dad yesterday.

 

I did a few simple stretches to ease the soreness of my limbs before hopping in the shower. After I finished, I headed downstairs and was greeted with my dad reading the newspaper at the dining table and my mum still preparing breakfast. I sat in front of him and eyed my father's reaction, wanting to see his expression, but I failed miserably since the big ass newspaper completely covered his face from my view. It looked like he was in a good mood. I grinned slyly because, from the look of it, I'm sure that my parents did get the hidden meaning behind my words yesterday. We gathered around the table and started eating.

 

God help me, I don't want to get married at such a young age. I closed my eyes, hoping for a miracle to happen. My dad's sudden question shook me from my thoughts.

 

"Son, when does your semester break start?"

 

"I'm not sure but it's coming soon," I answered as I busied myself by spreading a variety of toppings on my pancakes, paying extra attention to the decoration. Things you need to know about me: first, I am indeed a very fussy person. Everything needs to be perfect and certainly not messy. Being an interior design student, it actually wasn't too weird of a habit.

 

"Why did you ask?" I managed to respond back before shoving a slice of pancake topped with strawberry jam and whipped cream in my mouth. Hmm, is this what heaven taste like? 

 

"Are we going.." -munching- "..on a vacation?" I asked him again with my mouth full. Dad sent me a look of disgust before chuckling quietly.

 

"What vacation?" He raised his eyebrows. "We're setting up the date for your engagement. Mum said that you agreed last night." 

 

"WHAT?!" I shrieked out, nearly choking on my pancake, quickly gulping down my orange juice to soothe the burning sensation in my throat. Damn, it hurts. I hit my chest a few times, gasping for air. Mum clearly didn't understand the meaning behind my words yesterday. I thought mums were supposed to understand their children the most. So how could this have happened?

 

"You're not telling me to cancel the engagement, right?!" Mr Lu's voice boomed throughout the house. 

 

I was too scared to answer, moving my gaze to my mum, giving puppy eyes that pleaded for her help. I had the strong urge to stab myself when she suddenly got up and went to the kitchen, muttering the excuse that dishes needed cleaning. WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING, MISS? HELP ME! I mentally screamed, shutting my eyes tightly to send telepathy - which, as expected, failed.

 

I gathered my nonexistent courage and carefully replied him. "N-no. It's up to you. I'm fine with anything." I grinned sheepishly. 

 

The worried expression on dad's face changed to relieved as soon as he heard my reply. Dad, why don't you try to understand me, just for once?

 

Dad looked so happy talking about the upcoming engagement; does he know that I'm crying inside?

 

How am I suppose to prepare myself for my engagement, which was already set for next week?! Dad also told me that I'm meeting my soon-to-be fiance soon. Lord have mercy on me. 

 

 

_

 

 

His classes were starting soon so Luhan quickly packed his bag so he'd be ready to return to Gangnam that evening. The sun was already setting and Luhan was a bit afraid to drive alone at night. But hey, he's manly. Manly people aren't afraid of the dark. He pecked both of his parents on the cheek before bidding goodbye.

 

"I told him to contact you." Mr Lu's lips curved upwards, unable to hide his excitement.

 

Luhan was dumbfounded for a few seconds, his brain being too dumb to process who his father was talking about. "Who?"

 

"Who else? Your fiance." Dad, whoever that person is, he's not going to be my fiance.. yet. Luhan gave him a small nod in return and got into his BMW i8. He gave them a wave before quickly driving into the night.


	2. Bluebell

Luhan's hands clumsily searched for his bed, his ringtone sounding somewhere on his bed. Once his hand reached the source of the gold coloured phone, he swiped the screen, not forgetting to curse the caller gazillion times in his head.

 

WHO IN THE HOLY WORLD OF PIZZA DARES TO INTERRUPT MY BEAUTY SLEEP?

 

"HELLO?" He pressed the phone close to his ear. To be honest, Luhan was not the type to snap quickly; it was mainly because he finished his class like around 2 in the morning and he was beyond exhausted. His not-so-wild-and-sassy-princess mood always appeared when he was tired and now seemed like an ideal time for it's comeback.

 

"Whoa, there... Easy there tiger." Luhan squinted his eyes to check the caller ID, a number he didn't recognise. But, the voice.. That voice.. No! It can't be. Luhan shook his head a few times, refusing to acknowledge that the voice was similar to that person, the same soothing deep voice that still once made him go crazy. It can't be him! 

 

"Who are y-you?" Luhan unconsciously stuttered, revealing that he was clearly very nervous.

 

"Try and guess?" The voice answered with a smug, teasing tone.

 

"Well, Mr I-don't-care-whatever-you're-called, listen here-" He glanced at his clock; it showed 6 a.m. ARE YOU KIDDING ME IT'S 6 IN THE MORNING OH LORD! Luhan, take a deep breath and calm down. In. Out. In. Out. He quickly gathered his composure and continued, "-I'm tired, and I just want to sleep so can you please tell me what you want or I will gladly hang up right now."

 

A chuckle came as a response. "Feisty, I see. Hey, it hasn't been that long since we last met. Don't you remember me?''

 

"S-Sehun?"

 

"Of course, Lu."

 

Luhan instantly shut his mouth -- he was speechless after five years of not meeting and hearing from the one that he is was in love with. 

 

Am I dreaming? This is too good to be true. There's only one thing that bothered Luhan. "Sehun-ah, where did you even get my number?"

 

"I searched for it. Hard work always pays off, right?" Sehun's voice was still the same as before, soothing and calming. Luhan felt his heart thumping loudly.

 

"Luhan-ah, how are you?"

 

"I'm fine, you?"

 

"Not really."

 

Sehun's reply surprised Luhan. "Wait, why? What do you mean? Are you okay?" His questions came in like bullets.

 

"You're still the same as before." Sehun let out a short laugh. "Always worrying about me."

 

Yeah, the same as before. Maybe even my feelings. Luhan bit his lower lip, resisting the urge to ask Sehun about that one particular question - the one that hurt him to the core before.

 

"So, how many kids do you have now?" Finally, he gathered his last, tiny bit of courage.

 

"Hmm, kids? One. Two."

 

Luhan was on the verge of breaking down right then upon hearing that.

 

"Pinku Pinku and Garfield." Sehun began cackling.

 

He wasn't expecting the name of his plushies instead. What the--?!

 

"I'm being serious!"

 

"Me too." Is that true, though? Luhan heard about Sehun starting a family two years ago with his girlfriend. Miyoung. From what Sehun had just said, though, it was different. He scrunched his eyebrows in confusion.

 

"Aren't you married?"

 

"When?" Was this guy serious? He couldn't even remember his wedding!

 

"Wasn't it like... two years ago?" Luhan acted like he was thinking when he clearly remembered the exact date, no matter how hard he tried to forget it.

 

"It didn't happen," Sehun replied, his tone going sharp.

 

Luhan tried not to be a busybody but he couldn't help asking why.

 

"It's the past. It isn't necessary to know." Sehun's voice dropped a few octaves, barely above a whisper.

 

"So now..?" Luhan didn't finish the sentence. Sehun was smart enough to know what he was questioning about.

 

"I'm waiting for you." 

 

Luhan nearly had a heart attack. It was enough that his love was rejected before. Enough is enough! Moreover, Luhan was going to get engaged soon (Luhan was sure that he can't back off now because his mum told him that they've finished the preparation for the engagement party, from the venue to the outfit to the food testing). It was entirely wrong to have feelings for someone else.

 

"Why are you even waiting for me?" Luhan asked desperately.

 

"Because you're waiting for me."

 

No! Stop this! Why is he bringing up the past? Luhan didn't want Sehun to think he still had feelings for him.

 

"Why so sudden? When did I ever wait for you? I'm going to be engaged soon. I'll tell you when we confirm the date. Make sure to come, Sehun-ah!" Luhan's voice was full of enthusiasm, trying to disguise his true emotions.

 

"Ah, I'm happy for you. I believe it's a groom? He must be as good looking as me."

 

"No comment."

 

"Let's meet up later. Sorry for disturbing your precious sleep." And with that, he hung up. 

 

Luhan was starting to have mixed feelings. Why did Sehun come back when he was starting to move on?

 

 

_

 

 

 

It was still early in the morning when Mr Lu eagerly informed Luhan that he was going to meet his fiance late in the evening at Coex Mall. Like always, he agreed without saying much. Mr Lu seemed to be very excited for his wedding this time. After finishing his assignments, he took a peek at the time; he was 30 minutes late. It was his purpose to be late -- deep down in his heart, he hoped his fiance had left, annoyed that his future fiance was not punctual. 

 

He made his way to Starbucks, busy scanning the crowd for a man sitting alone. There wasn't any, though. He cracked a smile. Truthfully, he didn't even want to face his so-called fiance. It was all forced in the first place.

 

Luhan ordered an iced chocolate latte and opted to stay for a bit longer. Let's wait for a while. I feel guilty that my father has to deal with me.

 

Just as he was about to pick up his drink, a familiar voice greeted him from behind. "Hey, Luhan." He turned around, his face drained of any colour.

 

"Sehun?" His face quickly regained colour, although it was a faint blush on his cheeks, blinking adorably. "What are you doing here?" 

 

"What are you doing doing here?" Sehun answered with a teasing glint in his eyes. 

 

"I am waiting for...."

 

"Me?"

 

"Hell no! I'm waiting for my fiance." Luhan didn't even bother that he said fiance instead of a future fiance. Sehun hadn't changed one bit -- he still has those long limbs except that his hair was now back to brown. He remembered when they were in high school and Sehun went crazy when his mum finally let him dye his hair at age 15, unable to stick with one colour for even a week.

 

Sehun was the one that taught him the meaning of love. Luhan was just one of his classmates in high school that had been stupid enough to confess his love on Sehun's 17th birthday, only to be answered with rejection. Their friendship grew awkward but since their friendship circle of Tao and Kyungsoo still remained close, they tried hard to stay as friends.

 

A few weeks after Luhan's 19th birthday, the school exploded with the news of Sehun and Miyoung's relationship. He remembered when he first heard about it; he caught a high fever that left him in the hospital for a week. He recovered faster whenever Sehun came to visit; he never forgot to come for even a day and always brought Luhan his favourite flavour of ice cream.

 

Luhan never had the courage to come face to face with Miyoung. He didn't even know how she looked like -- he simply admired their relationship from afar.

 

When Luhan recovered a few days later, Sehun dropped the surprise news that he and Miyoung were moving to the United States to pursue their dream of attending medical school.

 

 

Since then, they'd never seen each other in the following five years. It wasn't like Luhan didn't want to; in fact, he tried contacting Sehun all the time. Only the heavens knew what he felt when he heard about Sehun getting married. From then on, he stopped caring.

 

Sehun took the seat opposite of him. "What if I tell you that I'm your future fiance? Are you fine with that?" 

 

"Why are you spouting nonsense?" Luhan refused to answer the question, switching his gaze to play with his fingers nervously.

 

"Do I look like I'm joking? I'm gonna be your fiance."

 

Luhan's frown grew deeper. All he wanted to do was bang his head on the wood table and splash all his favourite chocolate latte all over Sehun.

 

"I believe our parents have discussed the engagement; I don't find any objections or problems. So, when do you think is the perfect date for our marriage?" Sehun looked so serious about the whole affair. Luhan just wanted to hide in a hole and never come out. 

 

"Why all of sudden? Why? Why me?" He hurried out of the shop in a rush, leaving Sehun to think about his questions. He needed to get confirmation from his dad because this surely can't be happening. He faintly heard Sehun calling him from behind, the looks he received from everyone else unnoticed. He sped up as he heard Sehun's footsteps nearing. 

 

For the first time, Luhan drove so fast that he arrived at his parent's house in 45 minutes. He rushed into the house and was greeted by his mum, talking with two guests, bowing respectfully to both of them.

 

"Luhan, sweetie, this is Mr and Mrs Oh, you soon-to-be-in-laws," announced Mrs Lu.

 

"I suppose you've already met our son, Oh Sehun." Mrs Oh gave him a hug and a smile was brightly plastered on her face, which hadn't seemed to age a bit.

 

He was supposed to be happy. The love of his life (okay, he admits that he's still deeply in love with Sehun) was going to be his fiance but Luhan didn't know why he wasn't happy.

 

At all.

 

 

_

 

 

Luhan was exhausted, mentally and physically. He wasn't happy at the beginning with his engagement and his future fiance, only for it to be freaking Oh Sehun.

 

He didn't know what to do. During dinner, both parents were excited to continue planning his engagement, the topic of marriage naturally brought up as well. Luhan just sat there, keeping his mouth shut and smiling once in a while whenever they asked him a question. Goddamnit, I'm still too young to get involved with all this marriage stuff! Who even follows the arranged marriage trend in this era?

 

It all happened so fast; Luhan's brain was this close to malfunctioning.

 

Luckily, his class the next day was cancelled. He wasn't sure if he was able to take any more information to his already tangled brain cells. Not to mention, he was still at his parent's house. It would take nearly 1 hour to drive back to the apartment he shared with his best friend Baekhyun and it was nearly midnight already. The elders were so busy chatting until they didn't even notice the clock had struck an hour before midnight. He decided to sleep at his parent's house and leave the next day. 

 

His iPhone rang a few times but once he saw the caller ID, he turned it off and tossed it somewhere in the room, landing somewhere with his plushie collection. It was too much to comprehend. What killed Luhan the most was wondering why Sehun accepted his parent's engagement request. Everybody knew how stubborn Sehun was -- if he didn't agree with something, no one could ever force Oh Sehun to do it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some clarification: Sehun is younger than Luhan by a year. He left for/started med school at the age of 18 and studied for 5 years, hence the reason why he had graduated earlier. I changed it up a bit where I know finishing med school and residency take around 7 years (4 years in med school and 3 years of training/practical) to complete but I just made Sehun go through the med school for 3 years and 2 years for practical — let's just call him a genius at that.
> 
> Luhan? He started university late (because of some 'problem' that I'll explain in the future chapter), he changed his course once too. Now he's majoring in interior designing ^^
> 
> I hope that make sense, I know nothing about medical schools I just googled for a few info. 
> 
> Luhan is half Korean-Chinese in this fiction. His father's Chinese and his mother's Korean - that explains why he doesn't have a Korean surname.


	3. Carnation

At the library, a bouquet of red and white roses was placed on the table that Luhan and his friends usually occupied. It was nicely wrapped in crystal white paper and the smell was so breathtaking that it filled the whole library with its scent.

 

Baekhyun quickly skipped towards the table and beamed when he saw the flowers, retrieving the card firmly attached to it. Luhan simply didn't care. It wasn't like it was for him -- Baekhyun was so confident that the flowers were from one of his secret admirers. The sudden wail from the eyeliner-obsessed guy captured practically everybody's attention in the library. 

 

Baekhyun continued stomping his feet, throwing his butt harshly onto the plastic chair before crossing his arms, a pout was visible on his lips. Luhan sent everyone an apologetic smile as if it could make up for his friend's tantrum and misbehaviour. He turned to Baekhyun and shot him the look.

 

"What was that just now? Woah, you're shameless." Luhan gave him his infamous sarcastic smile before continuing. "So, what's the cause of the great Byun Baekhyun's tantrum?" Even though it's your nature to throw tantrums almost every day already... but let's not mention that in front of a moody Queen B if you want to live happily for the rest of your life.

 

Luhan swiftly grabbed the card and opened it hastily, his eyes widening when the words came in view. The heart-shaped card dropped to the floor, lying there lifelessly as if waiting for its rightful owner to pick it up.

 

Luhan, you are made for me and I am fated to you. Take my words seriously. Consider our engagement. - Oh Sehun

 

What is it that Sehun wants actually? Why was he chasing after Luhan?

 

"YOU DIDN'T TELL ME YOU GOT A BOYFRIEND! AND WHAT ENGAGEMENT? YOU'RE GETTING ENGAGED?" Baekhyun bawled, feeling betrayed that his best friend didn't tell him such big thing. The students nearby began to buzz excitedly, gossiping about the possibility of losing one their campus's flower boys. Some even texted their friends, uploading the big news on social media.

 

"Baek, I-I..." Luhan clenched his fist and eyes tightly as his migraine attacked him. 

 

Baekhyun instantly recovered from his sulking once he saw Luhan's condition. It looked like Luhan was in great pain and he rummaged through Luhan's backpack like a mad man. Once he saw what he was searching for, he gave the paracetamol to Luhan and his bottle of plain water.

 

"Oh my god, babe! Are you okay? Let's go to the hospital!" Panic wasn't the right word for the situation -- it was chaos. The other students nearby eyed them briefly, considering whether to help the panicky diva themselves or to just wait for another person to help them.

 

Luhan was about protest before his vision went black suddenly His body felt heavy as it swayed to the side before crashing down, much to the horror of Baekhyun.

 

At the same time, a tall, lanky guy dashed towards them and picked Luhan up from the ground, carrying him to his car with a worried Baekhyun trailing behind them, struggling to carry both his and Luhan's backpacks.

 

 

_

 

 

Luhan opened his eyes before quickly closing them again as the bright lights greeted him. The sharp smell of medicine hit his nostrils and he knew that he was at the hospital. Pain shot up his spine, all over his petite body, and Luhan tried so hard not to move. An uneasy whine escaped his lips when he saw his hand was attached to a machine.

 

Luhan hated needles so much that he once ran away from school when the students needed to get vaccines.

 

He glanced around the empty ward, trying hard not to move his sore limbs. His ears caught soft voices talking intensely on the other side of the door as if they were arguing about something. Luhan frowned upon wondering who might be arguing with Baekhyun.

 

The door suddenly burst open, a bewildered looking Baekhyun entering, stomping in his brand new Converse shoes. His mouth kept on babbling as he took a seat on the chair next to Luhan's bed. He then noticed that Luhan's eyes were open wide and ran to hug the boy.

 

"Luhan! You made me so worried." He murmured as he tightened the embrace.

 

Luhan almost choked at the sudden gesture. "Baek, please. My body's hurting so bad right now."

 

"Oops, sorry babe." Baekhyun sent him a guilty smile, hands scratching his nape out of habit. 

 

"How did I even get here in the first place? As far as I know, you aren't that strong, Baek." 

 

"You better thank that Chanyurr guy? It's Chanyurr. Yeah. Chanyurr." Baekhyun said. "He was the one sent by the heavens to help me to deal with a fat ass elephant." He rolled his eyes. The panicky boy just now was completely gone and voila! Sassy Byun Baekhyun was back. "You fainted -obviously-, he brought you here."

 

"Hey, I'm not fat!" Luhan pouted before turning his body away to face the wall, eyes avoiding Baekhyun. He wasn't that mad, he wanted to tease Baekhyun.

 

"Aww, babe. Puhlease. You're mad. Pwease don't be upset." Baekhyun brought both of his hands to the side of his face and..

 

Luhan snapped his head towards Baekhyun, unable to forget how horribly disgusting his aegyo can be.

 

"Bbuing~ Bbuin-." 

 

"Baekhyun, what the hell!" Baekhyun chose to ignore Luhan's cries as he continued doing aegyo just to annoy the sick boy who was this close to puking his empty guts out. No one knew how crazy Baekhyun's aegyo could get. He thanked God that Baekhyun wasn't the type of guy that liked to do aegyo 24/7; he'd only do it if he wanted something, like coaxing Luhan into doing something ridiculous.

 

Baekhyun finally stopped after Luhan threatened him to burn his eyeliner collection down. They continued to laugh until they were too tired to laugh any longer.

 

"So, I heard you earlier. Who were you arguing with? Don't tell me it's some cleaner or something."

 

"It's apparently a doctor. Doctor Oh Sheung or something like that."

 

Baekhyun sucked at remembering other people's names aside from his own family and his dog, Stinky Poodlely Boo Boo (who calls their toy poodle that?) and, well, Luhan's. The rest are always made up by him spontaneously, even the professor's name. Luhan still had no idea how he passed his exams with that attitude.

 

Oh Sheung? Hospital? 

 

Oh Sehun. (Seriously, how did he even guess that?) 

 

Luhan's head started spinning. Somehow it slipped his mind that Sehun might work at the hospital. How could he have not thought that this would happen?

 

Speaking of the devil, the door burst open and Sehun came in, wearing his long white coat and a stethoscope wrapped around his neck. Oh my freaking god, he looks super attractive. I'm dying.

 

Baekhyun got up from his seat and stepped in front of the doctor, eyes scanning the flawless coat wrapped around the physician.

 

"Doctor Oh-" He squinted his perfectly lined eyes and read the name tag "-Sehun." He spun around and faced Luhan, "Babe! His name's Oh Sehun."

 

Luhan's eyes were locked with the doctor's, his mouth hanging agape, mentally asking why Sehun was there and how he knew that Luhan was hospitalised.

 

"WAIT!" The sudden shriek from Baekhyun gained both of their attention. "Oh Sehun?! Isn't he the one that sent you the flowers just now?" He shook his head in disbelief.

 

He was questioning why the name sounded so familiar. Luhan was surprised that Baekhyun remembered the name on the card -- heck, even Baekhyun himself was surprised!

 

"Yeah, me." Sehun snickered.

 

"Luhan! Is this the jerk you're going to get engaged to soon? This jerk here?!"

 

"Mr Byun, this a hospital. You're violating the rules by making a commotion. It'd be gladly appreciated if you could calm down -- you don't want to get kicked out by security." Sehun calmly stated.

 

"Do you see that, Luhan? Do you? How dare he talk to me like that! This is unforgivable!" He ended his whine with a hmph before grabbing his bag and heading out of the door, not forgetting to give a peck on Luhan's cheek.

 

Sehun's eyes twitched a few times, not happy that someone was tainting his possession.

 

Sehun comfortably settled himself by Luhan's bedside and put his hand on Luhan's forehead.

 

"Your fever had died down. I didn't tell your parents since it wasn't that serious, just a fever. I didn't want them to worry. You'll be able to go home tomorrow. I informed the university that you're not attending your classes tomorrow."

 

Luhan only nodded his head to everything Sehun was telling him, keeping his mouth shut, not uttering a single word. He was still so stubborn about rejecting the marriage proposal, even if his groom was Sehun.

 

"Make sure to take a rest. Now sleep." 

 

Sehun had no idea what have gotten into him -- suddenly, all he focused on was that his lips were in contact with Luhan's forehead, pressing a long kiss on his soft skin.

 

He pulled back almost instantly before heading out of the room, leaving a confused looking Luhan behind.

 

Luhan touched his crimson red cheeks, feeling them warm immediately.

 

Why is he suddenly so sweet? No, Luhan. You cannot fall for that. Too bad you already fell for him a long time ago.

 

And Luhan fell asleep with a smile.


	4. Dahlia

Luhan laid back on his bed, today's memories already giving him a headache. Sehun told him to rest a lot which was apparently not happening. Next thing he knew, he could possibly be lying in that hospital again, this time with a migraine brought on by the doctor himself.

 

Meeting with Oh Sehun brought nothing but pain. Sehun was driving him crazy with his stubbornness. Luhan's efforts to avoid him were long gone as Sehun pestered him like crazy about the whole marriage thing. A week had passed since he was discharged from the hospital and Oh-freaking-Sehun still hasn't stopped. 

 

Didn't he know that he was re-opening Luhan's heart that was never closed for him again? How could someone be so cruel?

 

Luhan's protests were ignored like a piece of crumpled paper, discarded inside the dustbin along the words he was saying. His words were nothing like a weak blow of wind for Sehun.

 

The sound of his classmates' gasps surrounded him but Luhan wasn't interested, continuing to flip through a book that seemed to have a million pages. As he switched his gaze back to his assignment, it suddenly became silent. The quiet was so deafening that he finally looked up, only to be greeted by someone who invaded his brain the most.

 

What part of "I'm not marrying you" did Sehun not understand?

 

Now the doctor just had to stand there in front of him with his crooked smile. Luhan knew how stubborn Sehun was and he also knew that Sehun wouldn't go home until he got Luhan to agree with the marriage. Why was he so enthusiastic?

 

If it was up to Luhan, he would just leave Sehun alone and continue doing his assignments, but everybody was now openly staring at them. Obviously, they were smitten by how gorgeous looking Sehun was and how was he related to their school's flower boy.

 

And it's not like Luhan could ignore it either. He nearly dropped dead when Sehun entered the library with his glorious self, wearing jet black skinny jeans and a dark lavender sweater. Only he could look like he just came out of a magazine. With his dark brown locks, smouldering dark eyes, and a height that Luhan envied the most, no wonder people were staring -- Luhan wasn't too fond that everybody was looking at his future fiance.

 

So now you do admit that he's your future fiance?

 

Shut up, brain. I'm not talking to you.

 

Thank god that Baekhyun was nowhere to be found or else World War 3 would have erupted. He must have a class during this period. Luhan didn't know why his best friend despised Sehun so much but he hardly cared.

 

Right. 

 

You don't care.

 

I told you to shut up, didn't I?

 

As soon as Luhan sensed the presence of many curious eyes drilling holes into him, he just knew he was a dead meat. Luhan planned on keeping this marriage issue as a secret. It's not like he was going to marry Sehun for real, right? What if, suddenly, the wedding was called off? Wouldn't it be embarrassing? Goddamnit, no one was supposed to know who Sehun was and now he had to appear right there at his university. Luhan had no idea how he ended up here but, like he said, he didn't care -- he stood up proudly, looking at Sehun with a frown. 

 

"What are you doing here? I thought I made it clear that I'm not marrying you," he said as he glared at the younger, hands still pulling out a chair for Sehun to sit on. "You're a doctor, don't you have work to do?"

 

Sehun gave him a smug smile in return. The only thing that crossed Luhan’s mind was that he wanted to land a square punch on Sehun's face. How could someone be so annoying yet so attractive?

 

"I'm not leaving until you accept my proposal. Listen to me for once, please? Just this time. I'm not going to show up looking for you anymore. Give me one chance, please hyung?" Oh Sehun was begging him. Luhan wondered why Sehun sounded so desperate. Did something happen to him?

 

And Oh Sehun called him hyung for the first time in his 23 years of living. He never called Luhan that; Luhan once asked him why but he was answered with how too baby-faced he looked, which only resulted in his cheeks burning red.

 

The stares were not helping him either. 

 

"Let's get out of here." 

 

The books thrown everywhere were quickly tidied up and then they were out of the library. Luhan just let himself be dragged by a furious looking Sehun, who was clearly not happy with the stares they'd received. He knew Luhan's anxiety -- Luhan's hated attention. He was one of the most famous students around the school but he didn't socialise with anyone except for Baekhyun. People still had no idea how they ended up being friends since Baekhyun was the loud, attractive one while Luhan was the quiet, favourable one.

 

They headed to Sehun's sports car and Luhan was about to get into the Audi but, being the gentleman Sehun was, he opened the door for Luhan. Luhan could feel his cheeks heating up at the sudden gesture. 

 

You aren't supposed to feel like this. You need to stop liking him. Throw away all of those feelings. Remember what he did to you. How can you easily forget what he did to you in the past?

 

But how am I supposed to when he acts all sweet? Luhan debated with his own thoughts.

 

The silence was the only thing accompanying them as Sehun started driving. The radio wasn't on; they only had the sound of wheels screeching against the hard road and their steady breaths.

 

"So... where are we going?" Luhan timidly asked. 

 

Sehun, with his hands still on the steering wheel, shot a glance towards him -- Luhan had occupied himself with playing a game on his phone, silently sulking over Sehun not answering his question from.

 

Sehun gave him an apologetic look before focusing on the road again. "Look, I'm sorry. I know how much you hate attention. What I did back there was stupid. I'm sorry, okay?"

 

Luhan only gave a nonchalant shrug. "It's alright." His heartbeat inevitably increased in excitement. Sehun remembers my anxiety...

 

No more words were exchanged after that with Luhan still unsure of where they were going. The silence was killing him again, his phone having died right when he was playing a game, so close to beating Baekhyun's high score. Luck isn't his forte. Luhan fiddled with the paws of his sleeves and a wave of sleepiness was about to hit him when Sehun spoke up.

 

"I think you've changed a lot." 

 

"I changed? I didn't and probably will never. Luhan is still Luhan." Luhan said in annoyance. He hated it when people said he changed -- he's still the same old Luhan. Sehun knows nothing. Heck, they haven't met in the past years. How dare the doctor accuse him of changing?

 

"Even your feelings for me?" Luhan froze up upon hearing such an unexpected question. 

 

"Cat got your tongue? Answer me!" He demanded.

 

"Stop right here. I'm getting out." Luhan ordered him with a stern voice.

 

As easy as that, Sehun stopped his car. Fortunately, there was a park a few metres ahead.

 

With that, Luhan scampered out of the car, leaving a frantic Sehun behind. The footsteps were getting faster and the next thing he knew, his right arm was starting to ache as he struggled to let loose from Sehun's grasp.

 

"Let me go!" Sehun loosened the hold from his arms as he saw the tears threatening to fall from the dark brown orbs. "WHAT DO YOU EVEN WANT FROM ME?!" Luhan's shrieked out a few octaves higher.

 

"I just want you to accept me!"

 

"Why me?"

 

"Only you can love me with all your heart." Sehun tried explaining, his tone gradually getting softer as he eyed the tears spilling from Luhan's eyes.

 

"Who says? Maybe in the past, but now? No! I've moved on." Luhan wiped his tears with his long sleeves. He felt so stupid for crying over someone who wasn't worth it. He just kept on rubbing, uncaring of the dark kohl smudging around his eyes, making him look like a panda. 

 

Sehun observed the crying boy; once he looked like he'd calm down, he stepped closer to Luhan and gathered him in his embrace, rubbing comfort circles on his back. Luhan sobs didn't die down. They only got louder as his tiny fist weakly hit Sehun's broad chest again and again.

 

_

 

Luhan eyed the diamond ring on his fingers, eyes shining in happiness and drowning in euphoria. He felt like the happiest man alive. 

 

After his confrontation with Sehun a few months ago, he'd actually considered his words and now it's been almost a month since he got the title of Sehun's fiance. Sehun's effort of sending a bouquet of flowers every single day finally paid off, succeeding at last in softening Luhan's heart. Or maybe it was just his effort to never give up that really touched Luhan's heart.

 

Even though it took a long time for Luhan to agree, both parents were very delighted when the future bride finally decided on the marriage. 

 

Their wedding would be held at the end of the year and Luhan couldn't wait for it, already dreaming about their future perfect household.

 

'Thank you for accepting me...' The card reads.

 

He wasn't going to deny his feelings anymore; he really was deeply in love with the younger.

 

However, the flowers were not sent as often as before they were engaged. Luhan didn't mind as he knew that Sehun, as a doctor, was a busy person tied down with the responsibility of nursing people back to health.

 

The news about Luhan's upcoming marriage spread like wildfire around the campus. Luhan received a lot of congratulations from his classmates and professors, as well as from the owner of the pet shop nearby. Some even fainted when they heard the news of Luhan getting married - most of them were his admirers. It's hardly believable that the campus' flower boy who had never been in a relationship was suddenly announcing his marriage. Some said that they knew it right when Sehun came to the library. Pshh, people nowadays.

 

Their wedding preparations were planned flawlessly with the help of their parents. Baekhyun nearly choked him to death when he suddenly announced that he was getting married to Oh Sehun, along the cries of, "HOW DARE YOU TELL ME ON THE SAME DAY YOU TELL EVERYONE. I SHOULD KNOW FIRST! I'M YOUR BEST FRIEND."

 

Now he also knew why the diva despised Sehun so much. Luhan laughed his head off when he heard Baekhyun's logical reason. Sometimes Luhan wondered how he could be friends with somebody so childish.

 

It had all started at the hospital when Luhan had been admitted: Sehun and Baekhyun bumped into each other, making some of Baekhyun's coffee spill on the doctor's coat so he apologised. Luhan couldn't imagine a guilty looking Baekhyun apologising to the drenched doctor because Byun Baekhyun never apologises. Sehun gave him an eye roll and, of course, Baekhyun can't deal with rudeness (but it's okay if it's Byun Baekhyun because it's his nature). Now Sehun is on Baekhyun's blacklist of people who annoy him the most.

 

Luhan flipped through the catalogue containing a few suit designs, waiting for his future husband to show up and to try a few suits for their upcoming wedding. He sipped his favourite taro bubble tea, patiently waiting for Sehun to arrive. It couldn't take that long to come from the hospital to the boutiques located at Myeondong. 

 

The tapping of his foot grew faster as his patience faded. It was almost an hour since he'd arrived and his hand was itching to press the call button, but Sehun had mentioned not to call him if it wasn't important. So, he called Mrs Oh instead. She told him that she had informed her son about the appointment with the owner of the boutique. She hurriedly asked Luhan if he wanted her to come instead. Luhan quickly rejected the idea, not wanting to trouble the woman.

 

His phone vibrated, startling the hell out of the doe-eyed boy. He swiped the screen and a message from Sehun came into view.

 

'Sorry! I don't think I can't make it today. There's an emergency. Let's meet later.'

 

As always, only a message was left for him. Although Luhan tried so hard to understand his fiance's position, he really couldn't help preventing his heart from shattering. Was it that hard for Sehun to call him? They seldom spent any time together. Hell, you could even count how many times they've met in those five months on your fingers.

 

He kept his phone his the pocket and called the shop assistant and wedding planner to discuss the reception. He regretted rejecting Mrs Oh's offer to accompany him earlier. He may have put on a smile, excitedly recommending things for his wedding, but in reality, he was crying inside.

 

When they finished their discussion, Luhan bid them goodbye and headed straight to his apartment. He and Sehun still lived apart from each other. The time showed half-past 8 in the evening. Sehun must've finished his work already, he certainly must be home by now.

 

He dialled Sehun's number a few times, failing the first few times only to be greeted with a woman's voice.


	5. Everlasting

The wedding that was supposed to be held at the end of the year was delayed by the request of Oh Sehun himself.

 

Luhan wasn't sure when the next chosen date for their wedding was. Although he was quite surprised by the sudden request at, he still accepted it whole-heartedly. Sehun said he wasn't ready for the responsibility of starting a marriage yet bit Luhan knew it wasn't the real reason why their wedding was delayed. Luhan tried understanding Sehun's position for the umpteenth time; maybe Sehun really did have a few rational reasons for cancelling the wedding.

 

"I hope you can understand my situation..." Sehun said without giving his fiance a single glance, a hint of guilt in his voice. He continued walking a few steps ahead of Luhan. Bless his long legs.

 

"Oh... It's okay! I may not know the real reason but I understand you." Luhan replied sincerely.

 

Sehun's mouth twitched slightly, wanting to smile before he abruptly stopped the act out of nowhere. "So, what do you want?"

 

Luhan stopped walking, tilted his head to the side and looking a little bit too adorable for Sehun's liking. "What do you mean?"

 

"Starting from today, if either of us make any mistakes, we need to give the innocent one a chance to ask for anything or make a wish, as a way of apologising."

 

"So... is there anything that you wished for?" Sehun added.

 

Luhan faked an action of scratching his chin for a while before bouncing up and down, excited to tell Sehun his request. 

 

"I want you..." He pointed to Sehun, "...to fill your whole room with my picture." Luhan gave him a sly grin, satisfied with his choice of a wish.

 

Sehun looked so dumbfounded by the sudden request, jaw falling open in shock.

 

Upon seeing Sehun's expression, Luhan started laughing maniacally. Once he decided he'd enough of a good laugh, he added, "I got you! I'm just kidding." 

 

Sehun was about to get mad but he didn't have the heart; Luhan looked so genuinely happy. "I wasn't. Luhan, stop playing around."

 

Well, that shut Luhan up.

 

Luhan scratched his nape, unsure of what to answer. After what seemed like half an hour - really 10 minutes- he finally came to a conclusion and clasped his hands tightly. "Okay, I want you... to sing me a song! Can you?"

 

Luhan made his trademark puppy eyes and Sehun was this close to agreeing.

 

"Look at you. Stop asking for weird things." He said as he clicked on the car's remote control. Luhan hurriedly entered the car because if Oh Sehun happened to leave him there, he would not turn back to fetch him, telling Luhan to get a cab instead. Believe me; it happened once. 

 

Luhan wasn't entirely mad at the thought of Sehun leaving him there. He wanted to shop for more clothes and he was in one of his Luhan-wants-to-buy-this-because-it-is-pretty-even-though-it-wasn't-in-his-list moods. They'd been at the mall shopping for wedding goods for merely an hour but apparently Sehun got an emergency call from the hospital, forcing him to head back as soon as possible.

 

"What? That's not even weird." Luhan argued, pulling his seatbelt on.

 

"I'm giving you a chance until tomorrow or else say goodbye to your chance. Ask for something relevant this time, okay?"

 

"That's not even fair! You said I could ask for anything." He whined as he crossed his arms, clearly unsatisfied with what he heard. 

 

"As I said, only relevant wishes will be granted. Take note." Sehun's lips formed a small grin. He started the engine and drove out of the parking lot.

 

Luhan smiled to himself as well. At least today he was able to get Sehun to smile.

 

_

 

 

Luhan hung up as soon as he heard the beeping sound again. The same voice greeted him, the same woman's voice that he heard every time he called Sehun.

 

Luhan was tired of the woman's same that continued to greet him. He called to speak to Sehun, not to hear some operator's voice saying the same thing with its dull voice.

 

He tried his luck again; he wasn't entirely hoping he would succeed this time too.

 

After a few seconds, he squealed in happiness as the doctor's voice greeted him.

 

They talked for some time. Luhan was happy when he got the permission from Sehun to call at least once a week. Sehun chose Wednesday at 10 in the evening as the time for Luhan to contact him. Even though it sounded like quite a weird time, Luhan was still grateful. Sehun said he wasn't fond of talking on the phone, which might be the reason he rarely calls Luhan.

 

Luhan closed his eyes, drowning in euphoria as Sehun filled his mind. Sehun was always on his mind nowadays, probably because of Luhan's love that grew deeper and deeper for him each day. 

 

The sound of the door code being pressed shook him from his dream and Baekhyun came in with a stack of papers, probably his designs of dress that needed to be sent in tomorrow. Luhan himself had witnessed how the diva turned into an entirely different person. It was a norm for a student like them. They were finally going to graduate in a few months, suffering for a while wouldn't hurt.

 

Luhan stood up from the sofa and helped Baekhyun with his papers before he went to the kitchen and came back with orange juice for the exhausted looking Baekhyun. Luhan eyed his best friend, who was going to move in with his parents soon because of some family problems. He had been going back and forth from Gyeonggi-do to Seoul for a week now.

 

As unbelievable as it might sound, Baekhyun didn't have a driver's licence. He was always dead-tired by the evening from riding the train each day. He still could take a taxi but Baekhyun wasn't the type to spend his money like that. Although he came from a well-off family, he wasn't the type to waste his money except on eyeliner because eyeliner is life.

 

Luhan did help him once or twice but Luhan had his own problem to deal with. That left Baekhyun in no choice but to move in with his parents. Luhan couldn't help but wail like a baby. Who is he going to share his problems with then? Who was Luhan going to have the girls boys talk with? Who's going to smack him in the head if he does something stupid Luhan wasn't entirely happy with this but suck it up, big boy.

 

"Baek... Do you need to move?" Luhan was at it again. He hugged the eyeliner-obsessed boy tightly, clinging to him like a baby koala.

 

"Babe, I'm just moving in with my parents. You know them, just come whenever you want if you're not busy with your husband."

 

Luhan blushed upon hearing the word husband. "Is that sarcasm? Best friend and husband is a different thing." 

 

God, it feels so right to call him husband. My husband. He thought, a dreamy smile hanging off his mouth. 

 

"Pssh, right... How's it going with that jerk?" Baekhyun's face came in contact with a harshly thrown pillow. 

 

"Don't call Sehun a jerk! He isn't one!"

 

"Okay, big boy. You are so whipped." He said along the grumbles of you shouldn't have thrown it so hard... good thing my hair is alright or else I'd punch you, styling his bangs back into place.

 

"Hey! I am not whipped!"

 

"Whipped. Luhan is so whipped~" Baekhyun sing-song.

 

"AM NOT!"

 

"W.H.I.P.P.E.D." Baekhyun continued teasing him. He quickly changed the subject when Luhan started crossing his arms, turning his back on him. 

 

Luhan, you're still such a baby... How are you getting married so early? Baekhyun thought.

 

"Aww, babe... Don't be mad."

 

There was still no response from the doe-eyed boy.

 

"Before I do this, you better turn around..."

 

"..."

 

It looked like Baekhyun needed to use his secret weapon, "Fine! Luhanniee, bbuing bbui-"

 

"Holy pizza! How could I forget how terrible your aegyo is?!" Luhan frowned as he buried his face in the soft pillow.

 

Baekhyun smirked. Mission accomplished.

 

"Oh yeah! Before I forget, someone's renting my room. She'll arrive next month." Baekhyun said, tapping on his phone a few times, replying to a message from his mother about his day.

 

"She?! A girl?!"

 

"Duh, obviously. I said she. Don't worry babe, it won't be long. She just needs some place to stay while her house is undergoing some renovations. You'll pass, babe. You're so beautiful it hurts the entire woman population. Plus, you're also moving away after this. I'm not staying in this big ass apartment after you move away. I think it'll be okay." He chewed a choco-chip cookie loudly. Where did the cookies even come from?

 

"Oh, I see. It's fine, I guess." Luhan shrugged, ignoring the fact that Baekhyun just called him a girl. It wouldn't be a big deal, right? A girl wouldn't hurt a bug.

 

"I think her name is like Claire?" Baekhyun scratched his chin, thinking hard. "Wait, it's Clara! Yeah, Clara. Her name's easy to remember. It was the name of my goldfish when I was twelve." 

 

He was more worried about interacting with his new housemate than the fact that she was a girl. Everyone knew that Luhan didn't socialise with people easily. Imagine how awkward it would be.

 

"Where's she from?"

 

"South Korea, duh."

 

"I know that idiot." Luhan hit his best friend's head so hard that he could feel his skull shaking.

 

"Okay, okay... Geez, stop hitting my head. My ideas are gonna be gone by next month." He rubbed his head, unbothered by his messy hair.

 

"Answer me properly next time." Luhan stuck his tongue.

 

"Whatever, babe. She's from Seoul but she just came back from California."

 

"California?! How do you even know her?"

 

"Stop sounding so surprised. Some friend of my sister's. Luhan, if you're nervous about getting along, don't worry. She looks kind and pretty."

 

"Who said that I'm worried? I'm just curious." Luhan denied, flustered by the sudden question. Gosh, Baekhyun was the perfect definition of a best friend. It was creepy how he knew Luhan in and out; Luhan couldn't imagine his life without Byun Baekhyun.

 

_

 

Luhan drove his car at an average speed, singing softly along to the radio. His destination was Seoul Hospital where Sehun was working, the same hospital he was rushed to when he fainted. Luhan stared at the box in his hand -- he wanted to make a surprise appearance for the doctor since it was his birthday today.

 

A pricey pen was placed into a classic metallic blue box. After he bought the pen last week, he immediately went to carve Sehun's name on it. Similar to the past, he was very prepared for Sehun's birthday even though Sehun never asked for anything.

 

When Sehun moved away, they never contacted each other again. Luhan never forgot to wish him a happy birthday, despite Sehun not hearing it from him. Every Sehun-related thing was special to him, even when he didn't remember Luhan's birthday. He knew, as a doctor, Sehun surely had many other things to think of instead of Luhan's birthday.

 

He stepped into the private hospital, medicine-scented air greeting him. Yuck, how could Sehun stand breathing this kind of smell every day?

 

He fished his phone out to dial Sehun's number.

 

"Luhan!" Luhan turned his head around, searching for the voice.

 

Once his eyes fixated on the figure a few metres away from him, he grinned. "Sehun-ah!"

 

Sehun jogged, closing the distance between them. A few of his colleagues were smiling widely, walking casually behind him.

 

"What are you doing here? Are you sick?" Sehun promptly bombarded him with questions.

 

"Happy birthday, Sehun-ah." Luhan's eyes formed into crescents, mouth stretched into a broad smile.

 

"Thanks! Did you come all the way here just to wish me happy birthday? Did you ditch class?"

 

"Nah. Here, take this..." He extended the hand that he'd hidden behind his back, showing the nicely wrapped gift box. "I bought you a birthday gift! And no, I didn't skip class, it starts at 3."

 

It took some time before Sehun accepted the gift, staring at it for a few second before speaking, "You didn't need to give me something, I still haven't opened your gift from last time."

 

Luhan's world came crashing down upon hearing that. It was like his mind was suddenly blank. Did Sehun know what he was saying? Luhan can't help but let hurt squeeze his heart. For the few past years, was Sehun too busy studying to open his gifts? Even if Sehun didn't open them yet, was there need to mention it in front of him? Can't he care for his fragile heart more?

 

"Is that it? If there's nothing else, I'll just go inside. Thanks again for the present." As if Sehun was guiltless, he walked away.

 

Luhan stood on the same spot, frozen and dumbfounded. He tried so hard to keep his eyes from tearing up. He needed to be strong, but for who? Himself? Sehun?

 

His phone rang and quickly regaining his composure by slapping himself lightly a few times before picking it up. The call ended pretty fast, merely reminding him of his class.

 

The clock showed a quarter past two and Luhan wasn't fond arriving late to class, so he left the hospital compound with a heavy heart. Was it enough to say that his mission was accomplished? Sehun accepted his gift, what more should he ask for?

 

He arrived at the university half an hour later; it actually shouldn't have taken that long for him to reach there. Since he got distracted a few times while driving, the time was also dragged by and he was surprised that he was able to control himself from breaking down along the drive.

 

With fifteen minutes to spare, he strolled past the botanical garden and headed to the cafeteria, trying to cheer himself up with a big cup of iced white coffee. There weren't any students there except for a tall, thin guy named Chanyeol who was busy typing on his MacBook. Luhan recognised him as the one who helped him last time. "The weird lanky guy who wears hoodies all the time. Have you seen his eyes? They're freaking huge..." - How Baekhyun described Chanyeol.

 

Luhan set his books on one of the tables. He was about to make his way to the counter when a big cup was placed in front of him, just the drink he wanted: iced white coffee. 

 

Bringing himself to look up, he saw Kai, one of his close friends grinning goofily. Yes, Luhan did have another friend aside from the diva; out of all the students, Kai was the only one who was friendly enough to start a conversation with him and Luhan was grateful that he wasn't the intimidating kind of guy that people usually thought he was.

 

"Whose coffee is this?"

 

"It's yours, of course. I put it right in front of you." Kai said, settling down on the seat opposite of him.

 

"Did you win the lottery? Did Monggu finally lost weight? Do you want to stop dancing? What kind of dream made you buy me a cup of coffee today?" 

 

"Kim Jongin is a kind person... He doesn't need to dream of anything to buy his friend a cup of coffee." Kai sulked with a slight pout, placing his hand on his chest. "I am offended."

 

Luhan burst into a loud cackle, catching the attention of a few other students passing by the cafeteria. Luhan was delighted that someone was able to raise his mood by at least 10% because he wasn't sure if he could pay attention in class later. He knew that Kai was only joking too.

 

"That wasn't what I meant, you goof." He sipped his drink -- Kai was officially his favourite buddy after Baekhyun. His smile grew wider when the coffee perfectly fit his tastes: white coffee with only a little sugar.

 

Kai chuckled loudly and it took a few seconds before his laughter died down. Suddenly, he lowered his voice as if he didn't want anyone to hear their conversation. "Do you have some spare time this weekend?"

 

Luhan followed by lowering his voice too. "Why?"

 

God, they looked like a pair of idiots whispering to each other; there were practically no one else in the cafeteria to eavesdrop except for Chanyeol, who seemed to have his brows furrowed as he focused on his assignments.

 

"Accompany me to my friend's wedding party. I'm too embarrassed to go alone."

 

"Ermm... speaking of that, I'm shy, of course! Moreover, I'm someone's fiance too..." Luhan's mind drifted back to the incident that had happened earlier, a deep sigh escaping his mouth.

 

"Of course, I know you have a fiance. What's his name again?... Sehun! Inform him first. Please, Luhan... Please, just this one time." Kai looked like a kicked puppy; who could resist that?! 

 

Luhan felt guilt creeping up on him. Kai, alongside Baekhyun, was the one that always helped him in university. He didn't want to disappoint the sun-kissed boy.

 

"I'm not promising anything but I'll try, okay?"

 

"Yes! You're the best. Let's head to class. It's starting in five." He gestured to get up. Luhan forgot that they shared the same class during that period -- no wonder Kai called him earlier. "Finish that coffee quickly! We're dead if Professor Kim already arrived!" Kai helped pick up Luhan's empty cup and threw it into the recycling bin. "Quickly!"

 

Kai grinned when he saw how annoyed Luhan looked, ignoring the flower boy's grumbling. "This is all your fault! If you hadn't--"

 

Kai jogged out of the cafeteria as his laugh filled the air, leaving Luhan behind.


	6. Fuschia

Luhan looked at his reflection in the mirror, smiling giddily as he turned around a few times. He couldn't help but admire the soft purple coloured t-shirt with the pair of black jeans he was wearing, perfectly sticking onto his skin like a second layer. 

 

Since he promised Kai (not really promise promise but you get him), it would be rude to reject his request seeing Kai had done so many things for him. He brushed at his outfit a few times -- Baekhyun did an excellent job styling him this time. It wasn't like Luhan wanted to brag but he knew he looked breath-taking that night, with a dash of black kohl thinly lining his eyes.

 

He drove to the address that Kai texted him earlier, excited to attend a wedding. It's been so long since he'd been to one.

 

It wasn't that he didn't want to tell Sehun. Even though he was still mad at him, he'd still tried to dial Sehun's number a few times yesterday. But Luhan was answered with disappointment; not only did he try yesterday but every other day since Kai had asked him.

 

Luhan stopped his car in front of the entrance and got out, handing the car key to the valet. He spotted Kai jogging up to him and flashed his infamous eye smile, pulling him into a hug.

 

"I'm only coming for the food." Luhan teased, giving him a cheeky grin.

 

Kai let out a screechingly loud laugh that made people stare at them weirdly. "I don't care as long as you're my date for tonight..." Kai took a look at his watch. "Why are you so late? The wedding's starting soon."

 

"Well, I apologise for my lateness, dad. I took the wrong road just now." Luhan sent Kai an approving look as he checked out the tanned boy's outfit. Unsurprisingly, their look matched well together. Lavender was the theme so their matching wasn't a surprise but Luhan couldn't deny Kai looked extremely handsome with his dark purple overcoat and skinny jeans.

 

You didn't need to know how awfully Kai dresses; one time he wore his Pororo pyjamas to class with a pair of slippers, the type that you get at a hotel. After that day, Kai swore he won't dress that bad again after getting punched by a frantic looking Baekhyun. They met for the first time on that day - great timing- and Kai swore he didn't ever want to bump into the diva again. 

 

"See, I told you to just hitch a ride with me. Why are you so afraid of your fiance?" 

 

"Yah, there's no way that I'm scared of him. It's just that I need to care for his feelings too." He replied defensively. Even though he doesn't care about mine. Luhan smiled bitterly, feeling like he just ate a handful of sand at the thought of his loved one not caring for him.

 

Kai rolled his eyes in defeat before grabbing Luhan's arm, aiming for the wedding hall. There's no use in knocking some sense into the elder's head - it's like it was made from concrete! He wouldn't even listen.

 

Luhan shook his head, not in the mood to deal with a childish Kai. He just let himself be dragged away.

 

Once they entered the hall, Luhan's mouth gaped at how humongous and luxurious everything looked. He couldn't help but imagine how his own wedding would turn out, his lips tugging upwards at the thought. Luhan wanted the theme to be blue but Sehun wanted the theme to be purple. From then on, there was no agreeing to it. From the huge chandelier to the arrangement of the tables, he was impressed at how nice the wedding looked. Being somebody who cares for interior designing, he liked to check out even the wallpaper and table arrangements. It was a habit that he realised when he was young that lead him to become an interior design student that would graduate in a few months.

 

When they were done congratulating the new bride and groom, they both scampered to the dining table; Luhan forcibly smiled at those who misunderstood him as Kai's boyfriend. It just didn't feel right when he knew that he was someone's fiance. Kai brushed them off by telling them they were only friends, knowing how uncomfortable Luhan would be if such rumours continued.

 

They giggled when both of them looked at how full each other plates were: Kai with all kinds of fried chicken and Luhan with a huge stack of dessert.

 

Luhan was wrapped up in enjoying his desserts, munching on it nonstop and leaving crumbs around his mouth when somebody tapped his shoulder.

 

Am I dreaming? Is this real?

 

Sehun stood there smiling at him and beside him was a woman around his age.

 

"Hello, Luhan. So, a new boyfriend?"

 

Kai, who was busy gulping down his lemonade, choked at the question. He coughing a few times at the stinging in his throat as Luhan quickly rose from his seat, face burning with embarrassment. Sehun was always like that, talking without caring about his feelings. Luhan didn't want to ask for much, he just wanted Sehun to care about his feelings too. Was it really too much to ask for?

 

Luhan glimpsed at Kai, face flushed and painted with guilt. Kai didn't deserve this, he did nothing wrong!

 

"Who the hell are you?" Kai asked to no one in particular. He straightened himself up, brushing his overcoat a few times.

 

Luhan knew he should introduce Sehun to Kai. Should he really tell the truth about Sehun being his fiance when he'd just asked something ridiculous? Could Luhan bear to hear more spiteful words coming out of his own fiance's mouth? Could he stand the pain?

 

"This is Sehun." Luhan could only mumble those words.

 

"Sehun? Sehun as in your fiance?" Kai was sneering and Luhan had no idea why. 

 

Luhan nodded shortly as Kai extended his hand for a friendly handshake. Luhan felt a wave of relieve when Sehun accepted it, missing at how firm and tight their handshake was as if they had some sort of tension between them.

 

"Hi, Sehun. So, new girlfriend?" Oh no. Kai did not just ask that. He was obviously trying to take revenge for Luhan.

 

The woman beside Sehun stood there like a statue, staring at him like he was some kind of criminal. Luhan opted to stare at his shoes instead, unable to bear the unknown woman's judgmental stare.

 

"Wow! You guys match so well. It's like you're the ones getting married!" Sehun smiled cynically, looking back and forth at the two of them.

 

Luhan was ready for pain but he had no idea Sehun would say something like that. Maybe he was mad seeing his fiance and some other guy without his knowledge. If that was really the reason, Luhan knew he was the one at fault. However, the fact that Sehun was also attending the wedding with some other woman made his heart boil.

 

Why was everything always his fault in Sehun's eyes?

 

"Well, why not? Maybe if fate determines it." Kai snickered, replying to Sehun's words without a hitch.

 

The heavy tension led Luhan to leave the hall without saying a word to Sehun or Kai. He could hear Kai calling him from the distance but he didn't even glance at him. Luhan was secretly hoping that Sehun was the one calling him, but he was sure Sehun wouldn't even think about doing that now.

 

Luhan didn't even care anymore. All he knew was that he needed to get away from the suffocating air. Everything was too much for a guy as fragile as Luhan to handle.

 

 

_

 

 

Luhan flipped through the pages of album that contained the picture from his engagement party. He stared at them, mind working hard to process if he'd done the right thing. He remembered when he felt like the happiest man on earth for owning someone like Sehun; he wasn't as sure as before.

 

Looking back at the pictures made him fall into a deep thought -- did he do the right thing to accept Sehun after already getting crudely rejected by the doctor once?

 

The Sehun that Luhan knew wasn't selfish.

 

The Sehun that he knew always cared about the people around him.

 

The old Sehun never failed to bring a smile to Luhan's face.

 

Sehun had changed: his way of talking had changed but more importantly, his height had changed - well damn you Oh Sehun, I was taller than you back then.

 

Luhan's main purpose was to find the reason that made his Sehun change.

 

The door bell began to ring, getting on Luhan's nerves as whoever it was, didn't stop for a second, jamming their finger down on it.

 

He checked himself in the wall-sized mirror, trying to smile before opening the door. He didn't want to scare the other away with his intimidating self.

 

He took a peek at from the security camera where he could see a woman's face, mostly concealed by a large pair of sunglasses. Luhan punched in the lock code and the door beeped open. 

 

"Luhan-ssi?" The woman asked rather impatiently, stepping inside his house and pulling a big white suitcase after herself. Pssh, no greetings? How rude, Luhan internally mumbled.

 

"Annyeonghaseyo. Yes, I'm Luhan. Clara-ssi, right?"

 

"Yeah, I'm Clara. Baekhyun told you, I suppose?"

 

"Sure, he did. Welcome, and make yourself at home." Luhan pulled her luggage, helping her bring it in. She observed his house as they passed through the hallway into the living room. Luhan gestured for her to take a seat on the sofa and rushed to the kitchen to serve some apple juice.

 

"Thanks." She flashed him a smile, the dimple making her look very feminine. With her height (Luhan swore Clara was almost the same height as him!), porcelain white skin, and strawberry brown locks down to her slim waist, she intimidated Luhan quite a bit. He might have thought she was a model if Baekhyun hadn't told him. She could pass every criteria of a model perfectly! With that face of hers, Luhan was really sure she belonged to somebody.

 

"Can I just call you Luhan?" Clara suddenly asked, wanting to break the formality.

 

"Sure, why not? As long as it's related to my name." Luhan agreed, letting Clara make herself comfortable. How old was she anyway?

 

Just as if she was thinking the same thing, Clara asked, "How old are you?"

 

"I'm twenty-four. How about you, Clara-ssi?"

 

"Drop the formalities, just call me Clara. It's a coincidence that we're the same age." She giggled, sipping her juice. She cast her eyes to the opened album on the coffee table."Reminiscing about the past? Can I take a look?"

 

Luhan gave her a small nod. Clara grabbed it and started to flip through the album.

 

"Not bad," She said, simpering as she eyed his engagement photos.

 

To be honest, Luhan felt a bit dejected. Did he look so bad that she felt a need to say those things? Luhan knew that he wasn't perfect like her and he completely agreed with it.

 

"So, when's the wedding?"

 

Luhan grinned. Even he himself didn't know the answer to that.

 

"Soon." He gave her a short reply. He got up and excused himself, not trusting himself to talk any further. What if he told her all of his problem with Sehun? No! He would never tell anyone about it. He wanted to settle all of it by himself.

 

"Don't forget to invite me!" Clara said cheerfully as she handed the album back to him.

 

As Luhan laid himself on his bed, he stared at his phone longingly, hoping for a call that would never come. The urge to call Sehun was strong but there was something that stopped him.

 

He suddenly felt guilty, hoping that Kai wouldn't be mad at him for leaving him at the wedding alone. Sometimes, Luhan felt Kai knew him better than Sehun himself. He needed a break -- his mind needed a break. Wouldn't it be better if he didn't have to go through all of this? Wouldn't it be better...?

 

 

_

 

 

Luhan rushed to the hospital when he got the call from his father.

 

Without him knowing, Sehun's father had already been admitted for 2 days from asthma complications.

 

Sehun didn't even inform him about it. He had to miss two of his classes that afternoon to visit his soon-to-be in-law. Truth to be told, he was incredibly mad at Sehun. Was it that hard to notify him about his father's condition? If he didn't want to call him,couldn't he at least send him a text instead?

 

He took a few deep breaths and knocked the door, slowly entering. He bowed to Sehun's parents as they greeted him with a broad smile. He stepped inside the room and placed a small fruit basket at Mr Oh's bedside.

 

"How are you, Mr Oh?" Luhan asked, a hint of weariness in his tone. 

 

He helped Mr Oh get into a sitting position, the older man struggling to move. His face was pale and gaunt but his smile said otherwise.

 

"I'm actually fine now." Mr Oh lifted his arms up jokingly, making everybody in the room laugh brightly. "I'm better than yesterday."

 

Luhan sighed in relief, grateful that Mr Oh's condition was getting better.

 

"Don't you have class after this?" Mrs Oh settled herself beside him.

 

"I don't have one, Mrs Oh. I came here immediately after my dad told me." Luhan was feeling a little guilty for lying but if the couple in front of him knew, he'd surely be sent away to attend his classes.

 

"Oh, that's why you haven't paid a visit. I thought Sehun told you." Luhan kept his head down for awhile when he heard what Mr Oh said.

 

"Maybe Sehun forgot. Don't take it to heart. Sehun is always like that. Once he works, he forgets about everything else." Mrs Oh attempted to convince him.

 

"I understand, Mrs Oh." 

 

"Aish, how many time do I need to tell you to call me mum, Luhannie." She said, ruffling the doe-eyed boy's hair.

 

It wasn't like Luhan didn't want to. BUT IT WAS SO AWKWARD YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW AWKWARD IT IS.

 

The sound of the doorknob turning caught his attention. "Good afternoon."

 

Luhan's heartbeat increased abruptly. Sehun came in walking with a woman by his side - definitely not a nurse because Luhan wasn't stupid enough to get their uniforms mixed up with every day clothing. Luhan was sure it was the same woman that accompanied his fiance to the wedding. A feeling of hurt and betrayal overwhelmed him instantly. If it was up to Luhan, he would have left right away.

 

Sehun didn't even glance at him, busying himself with introducing the woman to his parents. Thinking that perhaps Sehun hadn't noticed his presence, Luhan stood up from the sofa, hoping to at least earn a smile.

 

The woman was friendly with Sehun's parents and Luhan immediately felt like an outsider. Sehun's parents treated her well and seemed to enjoy conversing with her. Nana... who is she in Sehun's life? Was she the reason Sehun acted cold to him all the time? Nana wasn't Miyoung. Luhan didn't want to think of the possible relationship between them. All he could think of was getting out of the room as soon as possible.

 

"Mr and Mrs Oh, I'll take my leave now."

 

"Why the hurry?" Only Sehun's parents looked up at him in surprise, paying him any attention.

 

"I forgot I promised my friend we'd meet up in thirty minutes. I'll come and visit later." He was purposely lying through his teeth.

 

"Don't forget to send our regards to your parents!"

 

Sehun didn't even seem interested of Luhan. He kept quiet, Nana standing closely beside him. Luhan closed the door, tears dropping one by one and wetting his cheeks. He gave up -- he couldn't stand it anymore. The tears flowed heavily, flowing out of his dark orbs and blurring his vision.

 

From afar, Luhan heard his name being called a few times. Luhan scoffed at himself for easily recognising that voice. Who else could it be? Only Sehun.

 

He made his way to the car, refusing to turn around and pretending not to hear him. What would Sehun think when he saw Luhan's tears? Luhan didn't want to look so weak in the doctor's eyes.

 

Sometimes Luhan thought to himself: was he really Sehun's fiance? Was the space in his heart really for Luhan? Luhan laughed to himself, feeling pathetic for entertaining an idea that simply would never happen. Everything needed to be solved right away. 

 

Luhan needed certainty, he craved the truth.

 

What am I to Sehun?


	7. Gardenia

Luhan hung up after he was done checking on Mr Oh's condition from his wife.

 

When he thought about it again, the excuse he gave them was somewhat illogical. How was he supposed to tell Sehun's parents that he left because of Nana? Since he did assure the elders that he'd come and visit later, Luhan had no choice but to fulfil the promise he'd accidentally blurted out.

 

As soon as his evening classes ended, he drove to the hospital. The rain seemed to be pouring more heavily than the drizzle from a few minutes ago. 

 

Luhan craned his neck, searching for a parking spot. It was almost impossible for him to find one at this time. After 15 minutes of driving around, he finally found one. He fished around in his back seat, looking for an umbrella but he was left disappointed when he came away empty. How could he have forgotten that he'd lent it to Kai?

 

"How do I get out?" Luhan started to feel troubled, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel. The rain didn't look like it would stop soon and the sky gradually turned darker and darker, swallowing the sun. Luhan couldn't think of any way to get out. Whether he liked it or not, he was forced to stay in the car until the rain stops. He couldn't get out and dash to the entrance since his car was parked too far from it.

 

The dashboard showed ten minutes to seven. Not wanting to waste more time, he raced out of the car, using his long fingers to shield him from the rain even though it hardly did a thing; he was drenched from top to bottom.

 

Despite that, he was much happier that he'd escaped from his car. 

 

In his drenched state, he entered the elevator, a man in his forties shaking his head disapprovingly. Some were distancing themselves from him and Luhan felt like the worst man alive. He was only capable of keeping his head down.

 

As he exited the elevator after what seemed like aeons, his heartbeat sped up. God, please don't let Sehun be there too. However, deep down in his heart, he was hoping to catch a glimpse of the doctor, even if he was still mad at him. He admitted he kind of missed Sehun's presence. Love is blind, isn't it? Your loved ones hurt you, but you still find yourself wanting to get closer.

 

The ward's door wasn't fully closed when he got there. Peeking through, Luhan could see them one by one. Sehun was there!

 

Luhan gathered his courage and inhaled deeply, gaining enough composure to push the door open. 

 

"Why don't you guys wait for him? I don't think I have enough time, there's still so many things that need to be done. I promised Nana that I'd fetch her."

 

The voice was oh-so-familiar to Luhan -- he could recognise it anywhere, Sehun's distinctive monotone. He dropped his intention of wanting to open the door, clenching his fist tightly and laughing to himself in disbelief. Sehun wouldn't do that to him, right?

 

"It's up to you, don't say I didn't warn you." Mrs Oh replied to her son.

 

Luhan stood like a statue, not moving an inch. If it was up to him, he would have already left but he couldn't move as if his legs were glued to the floor.

 

"I'm taking my leave now, mum and dad..."

 

Sehun footsteps were getting closer to the door until it opened and the two made eye contact with each other.

 

"Luhan, why are you drenched?" Sehun's tone was clearly telling him that he wasn't pleased with Luhan's presence. Luhan stared at him longingly before breaking into a fake smile. "By the way, I have some things to do, I'll see you later. Erm... you're blocking my way, care to move to the side?"

 

Turns out Sehun was like one of those people in the elevator. Didn't Sehun take any pity on him? 

 

God, why do you torture me like this? This is too much for me to handle. I'm just a weak person...

 

Luhan spent the rest of his day talking to Sehun's parents, doing well in hiding his real emotions. He couldn't get Mrs Oh's words from his head. "Sehun is always like that, Luhan-ah. He's so busy he doesn't have any time to meet his own fiance. Don't worry about it, okay honey?"

 

How is that convincing me that my marriage with Sehun is going to be happy?

 

_

 

Luhan felt as if his head weighed a thousand tonnes, probably due to being drenched in the rain yesterday. He gathered his not-so-much strength to get ready for his morning class. His outfit consisted of a pastel pink sweatshirt and a pair of white jeans. He left his hair messy, not bothering to style it like usual -- it didn't seem to make much of a difference, seeing as he still had his stunning aura. His mood didn't make him want to put in much effort today so he just opted for a thin layer of bb cream and lip balm to at least make him look human.

 

Luhan was thankful nothing happened on his way to the campus. He stayed in the car for a while, shutting his eyes tightly. The pain got gradually worse, far too much for him to handle. For the sake of stopping the pain, he massaged his head a few times but it wasn't any better. He knew he couldn't get out and stand up straight so he buried his face against the steering wheel.

 

Luhan raised his head at the sound of a few knocks on the door, Kai staring at him through the window. Kai's face was painted with curiosity at Luhan's strange position in the car.

 

Luhan forced his leg out of the car, giving his friend a small smile. Before he could get out the whole way, he found himself blacking out.

 

_

 

Luhan opened his eyes, the first thing he saw being Kai with a smile on his face. He turned his head around, observing the view. Oh, now he certainly knew where he was. Where else could he be besides the hospital, with its overpowering smell of medicine and plain white walls?

 

Luhan tried getting into a sitting position but the pain prevented him from doing so, though he was grateful that it was less than before. Luhan pressed his hands down on the bed, attempting to push himself up again, this time with Kai's help.

 

"Thanks, Kai. I can't even imagine what would have happened to me if you weren't there. Thanks again."

 

"Nah, not a problem. Feeling better?" Kai furrowed his eyebrows.

 

"My head still hurts but I'm feeling a bit better."

 

"I'm glad... Do you know how worried I was seeing you suddenly faint like that? Good thing I was there to catch you before you were able to kiss the road. Can you imagine that? It'd be romantic." Luhan smiled at the joke but aimed a punch at Kai's shoulder anyway, earning him a chuckle. Kai always made him feel better. Luhan was grateful for knowing a nice and kind person like Kai.

 

"Oh! I called your parents too. They'll be here any minute."

 

"Do know how grateful I am for your existence in my life? I'm really so thankful!"

 

"Since when did you get so sweet?" Kai faked wiping his tears. "YOU!" He suddenly howled and pointed to Luhan's face, startling the poor sick boy. "Promise me to take care of yourself! How many times do I have to tell you not to thank me? Aren't you tired of saying thanks?" Kai grinned sheepishly.

 

"Then what should I say instead of thanks?" Luhan asked with a wrinkled forehead.

 

"Use maybe Xièxiè, Vielen Dank, or even K̄hxbkhuṇ... Ha, isn't that different? And my ears won't be bored by hearing those." 

 

Luhan laughed adoringly. "Those are too complicated for me to pronounce except for the one in Chinese. Part of my brain is telling me you didn't even pronounce it correctly."

 

"It's enough that I have to speak Chinese at home and now you're telling me to speak Chinese too?" He continued his laugh.

 

"I think it'd be great if you spoke Chinese, though... Cause I can't understand it so I won't have to listen to your whining." Kai stepped away from the table, knowing that something would be thrown at him in a second.

 

Just like he predicted, a magazine came flying his way along with a string of profanities and a "KAI, YOU BASTARD GET BACK HERE!" but he successfully dodged it like a pro. 

 

Kai held his stomach, apparently breathless from laughing his guts out. They stared at each other before breaking out into small giggles. Luhan was feeling a lot better and the pain was slowly fading away. Do we need to call this the 'Kai Effect'?

 

Suddenly, Luhan thought of Sehun. He kept his head down and began questioning things. Why was it so hard for Luhan to approach him? Even when he'd gained the title of Sehun's 'fiance', it felt like the distance between them was increasing. It was a distance that Sehun himself made, leaving Luhan in doubt.

 

"Hey, Luhan? Luhan!"

 

Luhan snapped out of his thoughts at the sudden outburst.

 

"You okay? Something wrong?"

 

"Y-Yeah, I'm fine. No, nothing. I heard you took leave for two days. You're going somewhere?" Luhan swiftly changed the subject, thankful Kai didn't inquire any further.

 

"Going back to my hometown," he answered shortly.

 

"Going back to your hometown? Hey, can't you wait for the weekend?" Luhan was weirded out. Usually, Kai would return to Suncheon during the weekend.

 

"Okay. Erm... don't kill me yet. I'm sorry, I didn't find a suitable time to tell you -- now doesn't seem suitable either because you're in the hospital but... I'm getting engaged at the end of this week." Kai said, avoiding any eye contact with Luhan.

 

"Engaged?!" Luhan felt shocked wasn't even the right word -- he felt blindsided. "Why so suddenly?"

 

"I know, right? It's arranged by my parents. You know that I'm a good and obedient son so I just agreed without complaining."

 

"Oh, congrats then!"

 

"Just that? Give me something else..."

 

"What do you want then?"

 

"I just want one thing from you..."

 

"What? Tell me!" Luhan grabbed his pillow and threw it at Kai, who kept on laughing as if he enjoyed annoying the hell out of Luhan -- which, of course, he did. Annoying Luhan was the first thing he needed to do to start the day.

 

"Okay, okay! Stop throwing everything. I am this close to tying up your hands. So, back to the main point, what do I want from you?" Kai inhaled loudly, teasing Luhan who was about to rip his head off from the delayed answer. "Here's what I want from you, listen! So, whatever happens, do not, I repeat, do not forget to take care of your health. That's all. Do you know how worried I was seeing you stuck in bed like this?"

 

Luhan stared at his fingers, fiddling with them as he began to zone out. Why was Kai so worried about him when his own fiance doesn't even care about him?

 

Someone coughed at the door and both Luhan and Kai snapped their heads to see who it was. 

 

"Well, hello there!" Sehun in his white coat took a few steps inside and nodded to Kai to seem polite.

 

Sehun and Luhan were suddenly engaged in a staring contest, Sehun's gaze unwavering. Luhan was unsure why he couldn't make himself look away.

 

"Luhan-ah, I'm going now. I'll visit you later, okay?"

 

Kai's voice broke the intense stares between them and Luhan gave Kai a wide smile -- a sincere one, not one to purposely make Sehun boil with jealousy.

 

"If you need anything, call me. Take care of yourself, okay? I'm not always there to take care of you."

 

"Alright, dad. I'll call you when I need anything. Thanks again. Drive safe." Luhan replied cheerfully as if Sehun was invisible.

 

"Thank you for informing me about Luhan's condition. By the way, you don't need to worry about anything. Luhan's my fiance and I know how to take care of him." 

 

Could anybody else see the flames that seemed to surround Kai? Kai merely smiled and kept a calm expression, trying to keep it together as best as possible.

 

Luhan's gaze followed Kai's back until he was out the door. He quickly laid down on his back and faced the opposite from where Sehun was sitting in the chair next to him; he was quite obviously still mad and upset.

 

"You don't need to call Kai again. Call me instead if there's any problem." Sehun pulled the chair closer to his bed.

 

"Why should I? You don't have free time to pick up my call since you're so busy. Why bother?"

 

"So now you're mad at me?"

 

"Why, Sehun-ah? Why do you think I'm mad at you?"

 

"You won't even face me, isn't that enough to tell that you're mad at me?" Sehun crossed his arms, brows furrowed. "Okay, look. I know that you're mad at me for the whole Nana thing and ignoring you. I know all that! But are you really that selfish? You only think of yourself, right? Have you ever thought that I might be mad too? Seeing you glued to Kai everywhere you go?"

 

Luhan's eyes widen, his mouth gaping as he stared at Sehun. Seriously? What did this have to do with Kai? Why did Sehun need to bring Kai up in their conversation?

 

"What's your problem with Kai? Why do you need to drag him into our conversation?" Luhan felt really bad for his friend for being the victim of Sehun's jealousy -- if the he was really jealous. Luhan didn't want to know.

 

"... Then, what's your problem with Nana? Why are you so mad seeing me with her?" Sehun kept on defending himself.

 

Luhan's heart shattered into pieces for the thousandth time, his tears threatened to drop but he endured it. Evidently, Sehun was trying to put the blame 100% on him.

 

"I don't have any problems with Nana-ssi. It's true, though, I feel broken because you always choose her instead of me, your fiance! But not once I did question your loyalty because I trust you... a lot."

 

"I'm sorry if you're mad at me for hanging out with Kai. For your information, he's not more than a friend, a good one. You also know how much I love you, right? Kai's getting engaged in a few days, I don't think it's necessary for you to mention him in our conversation next time." Upon hearing Luhan's reply, Sehun pursed his mouth, letting him know that he still didn't trust his fiance -- the same fiance who didn't even have a single thought of cheating on him.

 

"One more thing... you need to think back regarding our relationship. If you feel Nana deserves to be by your side, just remember that I won't and will never be the obstacle." Luhan felt relieved that he'd finally expressed his thoughts. He wasn't asking for much, merely a part of Sehun's trust.

 

"There's not a need to worry, I won't break our promise. You're still my fiance. Okay, I do admit that I might think wrongly of Kai but that doesn't mean that you're not at fault. It's still wrong for you to go out and hang with Kai alone -- or should I say, a date? So you need to fulfil my wish."

 

"Is it always my fault in the end?"

 

"Yes! From today on, you cannot wear any purple outfit without my permission. Is that clear?"

 

"Sehun...!"

 

"No objections! This is what I want and you're the one at fault so fulfil my demand, like what we promised." Sehun said with a stern voice.

 

Although Sehun was a huge pain in the ass and what he'd asked was illogical, a smile found itself creeping up on Luhan's face that he tried to hide from the doctor.

 

Luhan felt butterflies fluttering around in his stomach. The pain he felt was long gone, replaced by happiness at having Sehun by his side. Who knows, maybe he'd be discharged from the hospital soon.

 

 

_

 

 

Clothes were thrown everywhere, covering his high-quality carpet as Luhan rummaged through his gigantic walk-in closet, searching for a suitable outfit to wear to Mrs Oh's birthday party. He'd almost emptied out his closet before finally deciding to go with his usual sweatshirt and jeans. Luhan put in extra effort to style himself that night, wanting to make himself look more beautiful in Sehun's eyes. He styled his hair to look extra fluffy and bouncy and lined his eyes with a bit of eyeliner, finishing his look with a light coat of lip gloss.

 

"Luhan! Where are you headed?" Clara's voice suddenly interrupted him -- when had she even entered?

 

"Mrs Oh's birthday party."

 

"Ah... going to see your in-laws, I see why you put in a lot of effort tonight." She chuckled at the end of her sentence, eyeing the room like it'd just been hit by a tsunami.

 

"I did not!"

 

Clara settled herself down on his bed. Oh, did Luhan tell you that he HATES it when people sit on his bed? Once Baekhyun teased him by bouncing lightly on his bed and guess what? He ended up with a bruised knee.

 

But now that Clara was looking too comfortable on his bed, Luhan didn't have the guts to kick her off. She was a girl too so he just kept quiet and went to his bedside, gathering his wallet and phone.

 

"When are you getting married? If I'm not wrong, it has been 5 months since your engagement, right?" She grabbed his neatly arranged pillow and hugged it. Luhan's right eye twitched uncontrollably from her gesture and her question. Aren't you a nosy one? And 5 months wasn't even that long.

 

"I have no idea too but the wedding is on at any time..." Luhan was only capable of saying this much, hoping she wouldn't push the subject. It wasn't like Luhan minded being asked questions about his wedding but each time, his disappointment increased further.

 

Sehun still hadn't decided on the date, claiming he was not ready to start a marriage. But to Luhan, it seemed like there was something that stopping him.

 

"I hope so!" Clara said enthusiastically. 

 

"I'm going now... Get off my bed and leave my room. Tidy my bed too since you're the one who messed it up but just leave the floor to me, I'll tidy it up later. Also, don't forget to lock the door. See you later!" Luhan grabbed his sneakers and car keys, heading out to the party.

 

 

_

 

 

Unsurprisingly, the party went well. A lot of businessmen in suits and rich looking women attended since both Mr and Mrs Oh were very well-known in the business world. There was a lot of other visitors too including a band called NCT performing a few songs. Heck, Sehun's parent's house could even fit a zoo inside not that the Lu family was any lower than them.

 

Luhan had been there for an hour and he still hadn't caught a glimpse of his fiance. He came earlier than he was supposed to but was only greeted by Mrs Oh. Luhan sat beside her as she busied herself introducing her soon-to-be son-in-law to her friends. Luhan's mouth was beginning to cramp from smiling too much.

 

Luhan felt someone touch his hand. "Luhan honey, can you go upstairs and get the goody bags from Sehun's room, please? I think the maid accidentally placed them in there."

 

"Sehun's room? He's not here?"

 

"Yes honey, just go upstairs and his room is the fifth to the left. No, he isn't there, he called me just now. He's on his way so don't worry, Sehun will be here during the cake-cutting."

 

"Okay," Luhan answered and headed upstairs. 

 

Once he found Sehun's room, he slowly pushed the door open and turned on the lights. What was Luhan expecting? Of course, the doctor's room would look neat and well decorated. Sehun was a neat freak just like him. Luhan grinned broadly as he imagined himself decorating their own house when they're married.

 

The wallpaper was a dark shade of lavender and his bed-sheet was a washed-out shade of purple. Luhan could easily tell how much he liked the colour. Luhan smiled to himself as he thought back to the wedding he attended with Kai. It suddenly made sense why Sehun had gotten so upset at their outfits.

 

Luhan stepped further into the room and began searching for the goody bags. They were on the far side of the room and he easily picked them up -- luckily there weren't too many and they weren't too heavy. As he was about to leave, he caught a glimpse of familiar gift wrapping, moving to take the gift out of the glass cabinet. It couldn't be...?

 

Luhan sighed heavily. Yes! His guess was right. It was all the gifts he'd ever given Sehun for his birthday. Even though Sehun already said that he hadn't opened the gifts, seeing it with his own eyes hurt even more.

 

Shaking off the thought and not wanting to keep Mrs Oh waiting, he carried the bags, being careful not to drop them. however, he hadn't noticed a box on the floor that he tripped over.

 

"Oh my freaking god! What did I do?!" He was starting to freak out but upon seeing that the goody bags were still in their correct shape, he heaved a sigh of relief. His eyes caught the box, whose contents were now scattered across the ground. There wasn't much except for a few receipts and papers. A pink neon heart-shaped paper grabbed his attention and he picked it up.

 

There wasn't anything else written on it except for an email address.

 

Email : s[email protected]

Password : myluvmiyoungie

I'm waiting for you, my love..

 

And Luhan decided to keep it.

 

 

_

 

 

An hour passed by and Sehun was still nowhere to be found. The cake-cutting session was over half an hour ago but Mrs Oh. still greeted the guests with a smile even when her one and only son was running late. Luhan kept her company, standing close by her side. He called Baekhyun but the puppy look-a-like said he was too exhausted to come so that left Luhan to enjoy the party alone.

 

Mr and Mrs Lu had gone home about 10 minutes before and Luhan really felt like an outsider since he knew no one here. One by one, the guests took their leave and there wasn't anyone left except for the maids running back and forth to clean the house.

 

Sehun finally arrived and Luhan excitedly got up from his seat at the corner to greet him but stopped abruptly when he saw the woman beside him. Nana.

 

Luhan needed to do something to get his mind off of Sehun and Nana, opting to stay in the kitchen and help the maids even when they forbid him to do it. They were afraid their employer would be mad but Luhan only gave them a small smile and began to clean.

 

By the time he was done, the clock had struck midnight and Luhan was beyond exhausted, physically and mentally. He made his way into the living room where Sehun was bidding someone goodbye -- Nana, who was about to enter her car. Luhan stepped closer to the doctor, hoping to get noticed but what had he been expecting? Sehun pretending that he wasn't there was enough to make his heart bleed again.

 

Luhan had enough. He wanted to go home and cry all night on his bed.

 

"It's too late now. Aren't you afraid of driving?" Mrs Oh words crept up on him -- he was beginning to get goosebumps.

 

"It's okay, Mrs Oh. I'll manage. Now is the best time to try driving home alone at night anyway." He grinned at his own joke even when fear was slowly engulfing him.

 

"Let Sehun send you home."

 

Luhan was startled as Mrs Oh's sudden suggestion. He didn't need Sehun to accompany him -- he was perfectly capable of going home alone.

 

"Sehun, send your fiance back to home!" She shouted before Luhan could disagree.

 

Sehun came back into the living room, where Luhan and Mrs Oh were casually seated on the sofa. From his facial expression, Luhan could see that Sehun was just as exhausted as he was. Luhan felt guilty -- if it wasn't from him, Sehun would now be able to rest after a hectic day at the hospital. 

 

"Mrs Oh, it's fine, I can go home alone. Let Sehun rest, he worked nonstop today. He must be tired out."

 

"No. I won't let you go alone. Why not just spend the night here?"

 

Sehun had his hand on his hip, tapping his foot beside his mother.

 

"Stop thinking about it, just sleep here." With that, Sehun took his leave and headed upstairs.

 

"I think I'll sleep here next time. I don't have my pyjamas and there's an assignment I need to finish at home."

 

"It's up to you sweetie but Sehun will send you home, alright?" She pushed the intercom beside the sofa and told Sehun to come downstairs. Sehun came downstairs as told, walking lazily with an uptight expression.

 

"So, can we take our leave now, princess?" Sehun glared at him sharply.

 

When they got out of the house, Luhan began wondering why Sehun had his own car key instead of his. If Sehun was sending him home with his car, what about his own?

 

"We're using your car?"

 

"What do you want me to send you home with? An aeroplane?"

 

From the tone and his words, Luhan could clearly tell Sehun was mad at him. Maybe Luhan was right after all -- Sehun saw him as nothing but a burden. His heart felt like it'd been stepped on again and again but he still managed to smile.

 

"I don't think there's a plane ticket available. Just let me drive myself. I have my own car parked there." Luhan pointed to the garage. "I came here to help, not to burden anyone. I'm going now, bye." Luhan walked faster towards his car without waiting for Sehun's reply. The fear he felt was no longer there, his heart aching painfully.

 

"Luhan, wait!" Sehun yelled as Luhan stopped in place. He still refused to turn around and look him in the eyes.

 

"Call me when you arrive!"

 

Luhan continued forward after that. Why would he do what Sehun told him just now? For Luhan to be called a burden after disturbing his precious sleep?

 

 

_

 

 

Clara opened the door after the first ring, greeting him with a smile.

 

"How'd it go?" She asked before Luhan could take off his shoes.

 

"Everything went well." Too well...

 

After wishing Clara goodnight, he went to his room and changed into his pyjamas. He hopped into bed and buried his face into the pillow so he could cry.


	8. Hibiscus

Luhan kept rolling around on his bed, lying around since he didn't have any class that day. Thank goodness for that. The thought of going to class with his nasty bloodshot eyes wasn't really appealing to Luhan so he opted to just stay in bed and do nothing. It was 11 am by the time he woke up. Clara would've probably gone to work by then, although Luhan had no idea what her job was.

 

It was impossible for him to just forget the night before -- his heart was badly hurt. 

 

Realising that moping in bed wouldn't do any good and would only drain his already not-so-high energy, he hopped out of bed and went to his study table in his pyjamas, not bothering to take a shower. A long hot bath sounded great to free up his tangled thoughts but perhaps that'd be later. Luhan had some messages to check first and some new assignments to finish

 

Luhan finished typing out his assignment half an hour later. Pretty fast, huh? Afterwards, he took his time replying to some messages from Baekhyun, who asked how the party went.

 

Suddenly remembering the note he took the night before , he scampered off the chair and searched for the jeans he wore yesterday.

 

Once he spotted the piece of paper, he immediately entered the email address and the password. It was wrong -- he knew what he was doing was wrong. He shouldn't invade someone's privacy but his curiosity was stronger than his feeling of guilt. Before he knew it, the browser had already loaded and he wasn't able to turn back now (not that he wanted).

 

He scrolled through the emails one by one but there wasn't anything recent. He clicked the inbox afterwards, looking at the account information. Miyoung! Was Luhan ready to know the truth? Luhan knew it was going to hurt, already preparing himself to be strong.

 

Three hours passed by and Luhan was a crying mess. He knew he shouldn't have checked it.

 

What was going to happen to his relationship with Sehun?

 

 

_

 

 

Luhan stayed in bed for the whole day, head buried in his pillow, calls and messages left unanswered. They were mostly from Kai and Baekhyun, which made Luhan feel bad but he truly had no energy to respond now.

 

It hurts.

 

It hurt more reading the romantic moments between the 'couple' himself.

 

Luhan wanted to know Miyoung; he wanted to know what she looked like, her personality, and most importantly how and what made Sehun fall for her? What made Luhan any lesser than her?

 

Luhan let out a miserable chuckle. He didn't even have the chance to know the woman that Sehun loved until now. The woman that took his happiness, his Sehun. Luhan wanted to be selfish. Sehun was his. Sehun was his fiance. Couldn't he have a bit of Sehun's love too?

 

He head started to feel heavy, his whole body going numb. A migraine was coming on again. He rummaged through his side-table and took out a bottle filled with round white pills. He then grabbed his water bottle and took two pills at once, his throat aching dully. He hardly cared about that -- all he wanted was his migraine to go away.

 

Luhan had no idea when he fell asleep because the next thing he knew, his phone kept blasting APink's "NoNoNo", waiting to be picked up. He no longer felt sleepy upon seeing the caller's ID. Who else could it be? Sehun.

 

He was torn between wanting to pick up the call or ignoring it. Luhan wanted to tell the doctor how much he missed him, how much he longed for his affection. When he remembered the emails earlier, he chose to stifle those feelings.

 

The ringing stopped for a second before starting up again. For now, Luhan didn't want to talk or face Sehun.

 

He wanted to give himself a chance to think wisely about this so-called relationship between them. What's the point of being tied down with the title of 'fiance' when most of the time, it resulted in Luhan being miserable? He thought it was because of Nana but he had no idea that Miyoung was involved as well. Sehun told him he was over her but why was this happening?

 

 

_

 

 

The weekend was spent with Luhan mostly curled up in pain. The migraines continued to appear at random and he had no choice but to take a day off and miss three classes. Clara was nowhere to be found -- she was busy with something Luhan had no idea about. He sometimes thought of asking but it wasn't his business to meddle with her life.

 

He took the chance to visit his parents since the pain didn't seem like it'd go away any time soon. Rather than being knocked out unconscious in his house alone, it would definitely be better if his parents could take care of him.

 

On his way, he went to the clinic that he usually visits and the doctor said the same thing: it was only a migraine.

 

After a few hours, Luhan entered the gate and parked his car, greeting the security guards and gardener with a nod. Thank god a migraine hadn't happened while he was driving. His mother stood at the entrance with her hands stretched out, ready to welcome her one and only son. She gave him a doting smile and greeted him with a peck on the cheek. They made their way inside, Luhan clinging onto his mother's right arm as if his life depended on it. It was just out of habit -- Luhan always got overly clingy when he was sick. Mrs Lu brushed his arm off hers and told Luhan to sit down while she went to the kitchen to get him a glass of water. Luhan only pouted in response and crossed his arms over his chest, wishing his mother wouldn't take so long in the kitchen.

 

When she handed him the water, he downed it quickly, grabbing his mother's arm and resting his head on it. Mrs Lu chuckled at her son's childish behaviour. He had always been clingy, even when Luhan himself said that he was manly. She was his mother so of course she knew him best -- except for the part when Luhan told her about the marriage and she'd told her husband that Luhan agreed to it.

 

"Don't you have classes today, honey?"

 

"The migraines keep coming. I took a sick leave. My head hurts..." Luhan whined, snuggling closer against his mother for comfort. "Where's dad?"

 

"Your d-dad... went out for a drink. L-Luhan honey, are you sure you're fine? Let me get you to your room, okay?" Mrs Lu was stuttering and Luhan sensed that something was definitely off, seeing as she tried to change the subject so quickly.

 

Luhan knew that his mother was lying. She wasn't the type to stutter out of nowhere -- Mrs Lu didn't even know how to lie. Even when she tried, she just ended up stuttering with an uncomfortable expression. Luhan was familiar with all of her quirks; he'd been born from her womb after all!

 

Luhan loosened his grip and sat up straight, looking into his mother's eyes. As expected, she tried to avert her gaze.

 

"Tell me, mum. There's nothing you should hide from me. I deserve the right to know and I promise I won't get mad... now tell me, what's dad up to?" 

 

"Promise me that you won't get mad at your dad. He did this for your own good. You're our only child, we love you so much." She looked at him with a pitiful gaze and Luhan softened -- he couldn't be mad at his mum, no matter what she did. "Your dad went to meet the Ohs. He's asking about your wedding since it's been delayed for so long."

 

Luhan inhaled deeply. Dad was always the one worrying about his marriage. The time when Sehun delayed the wedding, Mr Lu bombarded him with questions as if Luhan was the one asking for the wedding to be delayed. Mr Lu was really determined to have Sehun as his son-in-law. Little did he know that his dream would be crushed.

 

Because Luhan had already made up his mind: he wouldn't continue with this marriage. He would never marry that man named Oh Sehun.

 

Sehun deserved happiness and it clearly wasn't with him. Even if a thousand years passed, Sehun's feelings for him wouldn't change. After all, there's no empty place in Sehun's heart for Luhan to fill.

 

"Mum, if I tell you that I want to cancel my engagement with Sehun, is it fine with you? I'm too tired to wait any longer, I can't handle it." Mrs Lu furrowed her eyebrows, looking upset.

 

"No! I won't agree! By cancelling your engagement, consider it cutting our family's tie!" Luhan's eyes widened, feeling terrified.

 

Mr Lu stood at the entrance, glaring fiercely at him. It was obvious that he'd heard Luhan and his wife talking.

 

"You don't understand my situation!"

 

"You are the one not trying to understand Sehun's situation. He had his own reasons for why he delayed the wedding. Can't you just wait it out, Luhan?"

 

"For an unlogical one?!" Luhan protested. 

 

It was true: Sehun had delayed their wedding simply just to wait for Miyoung to be here in Korea, so she could see it with her own eyes and feel her heart break as she attended the wedding reception.

 

Thinking back about the emails from Sehun, he;d sounded so frustrated and mad when Miyoung had refused to come back to Seoul. Sehun also threatened to marry the person his family had chosen if she wouldn't return.

 

Sehun had also said that the wedding would only happen when Miyoung was back, right in front of her.

 

Was that the reason that Luhan needed to accept from his father? Was that the reason Sehun had given him?

 

"Marriage isn't an easy and simple thing, Luhan. You need to be ready to carry big responsibilities. Give Sehun some time to get ready and make up his mind. I'm sure that the right time will come soon." Mr Lu's voice dropped a few octaves, not wanting to create any problems within his family. Luhan knew that, no matter what, Mr Lu would always side with Sehun. 

 

Luhan dragged his feet to his room, feel like needles were dully pricking his heavy limbs the whole way.

 

His migraine gradually got worse as he thought about the pointless marriage. Would Luhan ever be able to return his heart back to normal?

 

 

_

 

 

Luhan bundled up in a blanket cocoon on his bed, covering his whole body. There was a knock at the door and Luhan poked his head out from the comforter. His mother stepped inside, giving him a forced smile.

 

"Honey, Sehun called! Here's the phone..." Mrs Lu handed it to him carefully.

 

Luhan quickly grabbed the phone and covered the speaker with his palm, staring at it blankly. Sehun called him again. Luhan purposely shut his phone off right after he discovered everything. He didn't want any sort of disturbances. Luhan had no idea what had happened -- Sehun never called him. All of a sudden, the doctor had been calling him almost every day since.

 

"I think I'm too tired to talk, my head isn't getting any better. Tell him I'm not home or something." Luhan whispered, handing back the phone. Luhan needed to create distance between himself and Sehun. Avoiding him was one of the most important things right now, even if it was hard to refrain from missing Sehun.

 

Mrs Lu only nodded and walked out of his room, leaving his bedroom door ajar.

 

A few minutes later, she came back looking unsatisfied with his lame excuse from earlier. "Why did you turn your phone off?"

 

"Oh, it's broken. I haven't had any spare time to get it repaired." Luhan was left with no choice but to lie to his beloved mother. I'm sorry, mum.

 

"If that's the case, continue resting. I'll be downstairs."

 

 

_

 

 

Luhan was woken up by the sound of knocking on his door. What now? He was about to fall into a deep sleep. His facial expression immediately softened when he saw it was his mother calling for him.

 

"Luhan, Sehun wants to talk to you."

 

"He called again?" Luhan kept his head down, refusing to look at his mother. He really didn't want to talk to him.

 

"When he called earlier, I told him that you weren't feeling well. I didn't expect him to visit us. Sehun's downstairs, you should go down... You don't want your father to get mad at you, right?" She persuaded. 

 

Luhan was startled when she mentioned that Sehun was downstairs. Mrs Lu left without waiting for his reply, probably expecting him to follow her. Luhan sighed, having no choice but to put on his slippers and head downstairs. It was bad enough that he fought with his father yesterday.

 

Sehun was seated comfortably on Luhan's favourite sofa, the white one that never seemed to get dirty. Mr Lu took his leave when he saw Luhan stepping into the room. There was a plate of assorted desserts -- his mum probably made them since she loved baking -- and a glass of pear juice. He took a seat beside Sehun, still trying to keep his distance.

 

Upon seeing that Sehun hadn't taken a drink from his juice, Luhan grabbed it and lifted it encouragingly towards Sehun's lips. Only after Sehun had grabbed his wrist did he realise what he'd done, quickly sliding it back into his lap with an embarrassed expression. He avoided Sehun's gaze, keeping his head down.

 

Sehun's eyes trailed towards Luhan's figure, looking at him sharply from bottom to top. "Luhan, what are you wearing?"

 

Luhan looked down at his outfit, grabbing the couch cushion in a split second and putting it over his legs. Even the air conditioner couldn't cool him down -- he was too flushed from embarrassment. How could he be so careless and not notice what he was wearing? An oversized shirt barely covering his thighs with a pair of Hello Kitty boxers that barely peeked out from underneath the hem. Too much skin exposed!

 

Oh my god! What am I wearing?!?!

 

Sehun smirked, unnoticed by the doe-eyed boy. Feeling that he'd spent enough time teasing his fiance, Sehun cleared his throat. "How's your migraine? Does it still hurt?"

 

"No, I'm perfectly fine. Nothing that serious, just a small matter." Luhan didn't need any more sympathy.

 

"If you were perfectly fine, you wouldn't have been given two days leave, Luhan. I'm a doctor, a doctor wouldn't give it that easily unless a patient needs plenty of rest."

 

Luhan shut his mouth, not even letting out a single squeak. Upon noticing his silence, Sehun added, "Let me take you for a check up at the hospital."

 

"I'm alright. I already went to the clinic. Sit, Sehun-ah." Luhan pulled him down again.

 

"You... whenever you get sick, you never want to tell me, right?" Sehun sounded disappointed. Was he really? All this time, he never cared for Luhan. Having Luhan by his side might be a greater burden -- it'd been his parent's choice to make Luhan his fiance, not his own.

 

"It's not that bad, just a small headache. I don't want to burden anyone."

 

"So you're going to wait till it gets worse and then tell me?" Sehun asked, his voice stern.

 

"Why do we always end up arguing every time we talk? I really don't understand..." 

 

"... Go home, Sehun-ah. My mind is so messed up and I feel so goddamn frustrated, I could cry for weeks straight. I need to rest. There're so many things that I need to think about, including our relationship." With that Luhan left, leaving a stunned Sehun behind, surprised that his fiance talked to him like that.

 

It was the first time that Luhan had looked so frustrated. He'd finally spoken his mind and there was no turning back now. Let his family know that he had a fight with Sehun, let the whole world know how much Luhan hated being the second person in his heart. Luhan had a feeling that his father would still blame him for the argument. It was fine. Luhan didn't care anymore.

 

 

_

 

 

Luhan gave up. Mr Lu stubbornness was far greater than his own. His heart was hard as a rock, refusing to budge from his decision. 

 

Luhan couldn't think of another way to persuade his father to cancel the engagement. This is his own future they were talking about! Luhan had the right to cancel everything. The only way to do it was to convince Sehun instead and that was exactly what Luhan would do. That was the only way that Luhan wouldn't be blamed by his father and Sehun would be able to start his relationship again with his lover, Miyoung.

 

If this was fate then Luhan would gladly accept it. Even though he was hurt, it was worth it if it meant securing Sehun's happiness.

 

He arrived at the location Sehun wanted to meet as promised. This was it, the ending. The meeting where everything would end and cut any strings between them. Even when his heart was crying, he needed to be strong for the sake of their happiness.

 

Truthfully, Luhan didn't have the confidence to face Sehun or the courage after knowing Sehun's real feelings towards him. Luhan wasn't worthy of Sehun, he knew that perfectly well.

 

Luhan had never thought their engagement of almost a year would be a waste. There wasn't happiness, only heartbreak and Luhan knew he'd had enough. 

 

I don't want to keep hoping when I know his love clearly isn't for me. I need to back off and stop dreaming.

 

Luhan entered the expensive looking restaurant and craned his neck to search for his fiance. A waitress suddenly came to ask if he was 'Luhan' and Luhan only nodded in response. He followed her as she led him to where Sehun was waiting. Luhan bowed and politely thanked her for helping him.

 

Sehun greeted him with a broad smile -- it had been a while since Luhan had seen him look like that He quickly got up and pulled out a seat for Luhan. After Luhan was comfortably seated, he took his seat opposite of him. Luhan glanced around; there wasn't anyone around except for them. His eyes then gazed at the candles lit up beautifully at the centre of the table. 

 

It was weird. The atmosphere was creeping Luhan out. Why weren't there any customers? It was lunch time; it couldn't possibly be this empty. Usually, it would be packed with people. Sehun's smile still hadn't died down since Luhan arrived and it was really freaking him out.

 

"You told me there was something that you wanted to talk to me about What is it, Luhan-ah?" Sehun asked, a smile still attached to his lips.

 

Luhan felt mixed feelings as he looked at Sehun's smile, his mouth feeling too heavy to mutter anything. Looking at the smile made Luhan feel weak; it made Luhan think twice about calling off the engagement. Luhan didn't want to let Sehun go, he wanted to keep on loving him, even when their feelings would never be mutual.

 

"Are you okay?"

 

Luhan jumped lightly, too engrossed in his thoughts that he hadn't noticed Sehun staring at every move he made.

 

Luhan, get a grip! Remember what you're here for...

 

"Can you do me a favour?" Luhan forced himself to look straight into Sehun's eyes. Their gaze locked for a few seconds and Sehun slowly replaced his smile with a serious frown.

 

"What favour?" Sehun asked sternly.

 

"I... I want you to meet my parents and break off our engagement." 

 

"What nonsense are you talking about now?" Sehun sounded calm, crossing his arms with an unreadable expression. Judging by his relaxed posture, Luhan was too sure that what he asked for would be fulfilled.

 

"I did everything but dad still won't allow me to break off our engagement. He also threatened to cut off any ties with me if I did. That's the reason I'm asking for your help. I'm sorry for the dullness of our relationship. There's no valid reason for us to be tied. This is the last time I'm asking for your help, please, Sehun-ah." 

 

"And why should I be the one telling him?"

 

Luhan gawked at him. He did not just say that.

 

I spent like an hour trying to practice these lines in front of the mirror, making myself look like an idiot and this guy has the audacity to ask me why?!

 

"I don't care if you practised for an hour or if you're an idiot, I just need to ask why I should be the one telling your parents?"

 

Crap! I did not just say that aloud.

 

Luhan hid his flushed face by looking down at his plate, good thing that the lights were somewhat dimmed. "I told you just now, didn't I? Father will disown me if I'm the one breaking it off."

 

"Look Luhan--" Sehun gathered Luhan's tiny hand in his palm; his fingers looked so slender and soft compared to Sehun's, "Why do we need to break it off in the first place? I know that you're mad about something. Mad at me for postponing our wedding?" The last one came out as a question rather than a statement. Sehun still looked so calm and relaxed and Luhan was afraid if he would suddenly explode like the calm before the storm.

 

"No! It's not because of that. If you aren't ready for our marriage, it's not your fault. Really. Maybe we aren't meant to be together. I can accept that because I don't think I can spend my lifetime with you, Sehun-ah. We are so different. I'll be fine." Lies. Luhan can't imagine himself without Sehun by his side. Even when the latter when missing for years back then, he tried moving on, he barely succeeded and Sehun just had to come back, leaving his effort crippled. Miyoung was always in Sehun's heart, not him! So why does he need to keep on waiting?

 

Luhan suddenly realised that his hand was still in Sehun's hard grip and he quickly withdrew it.

 

"So what's the problem? Us being different?"

 

"I just want the best for you."

 

"I don't think that'll happen. Sorry!"

 

"But why?!" Luhan questioned him next. Sehun pursed his lip and threw an envelope on the table.

 

And he left.

 

Luhan let him leave, without any intention of following him outside. His gaze was fixed towards the peach envelope that was thrown and his heartbeat started to increase. What could possibly be inside?

 

He opened it with a sense of fear and his jaw dropped upon noticing what was in it. His bottom lip quivered as he traced his perfectly hand-written name on it. Their wedding invitation! What made him shocked more was that the date; their wedding would take place in less than a month.

 

Luhan covered his mouth. What now? Can he go through another pain and agony?


	9. Iris

Kai accepted the golden coloured card with a tiny smile, being one of the last people to receive it.

 

It wasn't like Luhan purposely left him out in the first place but Kai would ask so many questions about the wedding that Luhan himself couldn't answer. Luhan knew that Kai could sense something fishy about his and Sehun's relationship -- it was far too risky.

 

"Congrats! Finally, huh... you still ended up marrying that bastard." Kai uttered with a mischevious smile.

 

Luhan smacked him playfully with his journal. "Don't call him that!"

 

"What? It's true!" Kai exclaimed, grinning when he had to fend off another smack in his direction. "Really, though. As long as you're happy."

 

Luhan knew he wasn't happy -- happiness wouldn't come unless he could also truly give it to Sehun. However, it seemed that Miyoung would be the only person who could do it. It was why Luhan knew that he had to cancel the wedding somehow. What kind of marriage would it be if one of them was completely miserable? There was no way Luhan could be happy in it as well. If Miyoung reappeared, Luhan knew his heart would break again but in some way, he knew that it'd be even worse if Sehun continued to pine for her during their marriage.

 

"Of course, I'm happy, I'm going to marry Sehun," Luhan answered, hoping Kai believed the excited smile he gave him. Kai raised an eyebrow, his fingers playing with the edges of the gold envelope.

 

"Are you really? You're always sacrificing your own happiness for him, Luhan. When he was gone, you called and sent gifts all the time and he never answered. Yet you still loved him all the time and he's never given a thing back. All I want to see is you being truly happy for yourself... just this once." Kai sighed, fixing his eyes sternly on Luhan's weakening smile. "I hate seeing you cry."

 

"Why? Do I resemble a monster when I cry? Are you afraid I'll come and eat you?"

 

"Luhan!" Kai pursed his lips. "I was completely serious."

 

Somehow, Luhan had known things had suddenly turned serious and his friend was no longer the friendly jokester he was used to. If he kept up this line of conversation, he'd surely get Luhan to admit that he wanted the wedding cancelled and it was another risk that he couldn't take. He rolled his eyes, leaning over to hit Kai's shoulder with what he hoped sounded like a genuine laugh.

 

"Since when are you ever serious? Stop joking around! You're being so dramatic." Luhan watched as Kai's stony expression eased into another wide grin, rubbing his shoulder as if Luhan had hit him with a heavy weight.

 

"Ow! You know, you're a lot stronger than you think." Kai whined, lower lip jutting out. "I was just trying to practice my acting -- you know, I was just pretending to be serious. I thought it was pretty good. You didn't have to hit me!"

 

"You're ridiculous." Luhan rolled his eyes with another grin, this one much more real than any other he'd given Kai today. Being with his friend always managed to cheer him up, even if his wedding was far too close for comfort. It briefly made him forget the reality of his parent's expectations and having to convince Sehun to call the whole thing off.

 

However, staring at the gold envelope in Kai's hands, Luhan knew that he couldn't keep pretending to be happy any longer. For his sake and Sehun's sake, the wedding couldn't go on. He had to be with Miyoung again.

 

Even if Luhan's heart shattered into a million pieces one more time, it would be worth it to watch Sehun be with the one he loved.

 

Even after he could put his heart together again and look at all the cracks in its surface, he'd be able to forget it knowing that Miyoung and Sehun were together once again.

 

He wanted to be selfish one more time and defy his parents, his wedding guests, the expectations. He wanted to do this one last thing for himself -- because Sehun being happy was the only way Luhan could feel the same way too.

 

 

_

 

 

A week passed by in a flash and Luhan did nothing but observe as his mother and the wedding planners busied themselves preparing the perfect wedding. Everything was Mrs. Oh and his mother's ideas, seeing as Luhan had no desire to give a single thought of his own.

 

Luhan stepped into the elevator and slumped against the wall. Like always, he had gone down to check the progress of the wedding ceremony and did nothing but keep himself in a corner, dozed off to the thought of running away.

 

The door beeped and Luhan entered his hotel room dejectedly. He dumped his jacket on the bed and proceed to take a hot bath to soothe his nerves. Once he was done half an hour later, he felt refreshed and tied a silk robe around himself, sitting on the bed.

 

After his encounter with Sehun nearly a month ago, Sehun hadn't contacted him at all. Luhan had the feeling that he was purposely avoiding his calls. Luhan was starting to worry because he couldn't do anything if he couldn't get a hold of Sehun. This wedding wasn't supposed to happen.

 

The door beeped again to reveal his mother smiling brightly at him. "Honey, it's getting late and you need lots of sleep. It's your big day tomorrow!" She exclaimed happily. Luhan smiled rather forcefully -- his mother, of course, hadn't noticed it.  She bid him goodbye and hurried out of his room. 

 

Call him selfish, but this wasn't the perfect marriage Luhan had dreamed about. He was just an ordinary guy who craved affection and love from the one he adored. This was all forced. He was never happy from the beginning.

 

If Luhan could end it himself, he would have proudly stood up and told his parents that he opposed the whole marriage. But Luhan was just a good, obedient son and he valued all the trouble that his parents had gone through in order to raise him perfectly. He wouldn't let that happen unless Sehun was the one ending it. 

 

How am I supposed to marry someone whose love clearly isn't for me?

 

 

_

 

 

Luhan pressed his phone against his shoulder as he closed the elevator door. He tapped his feet impatiently and waited for the call to connect. "Hello, it's Luhan. Is Sehun there? Can I please talk to him?"

 

A muffled voice told him to wait for a while. Luhan had to guess it was one o the maids based on the thick accent.

 

"Hello?"

 

"It's Luhan. Meet me at the  park near the Han River right now. I'm not going home unless you're here." Luhan hung up without waiting for a reply. He dashed out of the elevator and bowed to the receptionists who gave him a strange look. But Luhan didn't care -- they were the last thing that Luhan should have been thinking of right now. They were probably wondering why he was running considering that he was the bride for tonight's wedding ceremony.

 

His steps came to a halt when a double-decker tour bus suddenly parked in front of the lobby. One by one the passengers exited the vehicle and Luhan gulped.

 

Crap! He knew all of them!

 

He inhaled deeply, shutting his eyes and praying that they were too busy  to notice him passing through. 

 

He blinked and his vision cleared to see Mrs. Lu hugging his relatives who had just arrived from China. Oh, great. Life couldn't get any better. His mother wouldn't even let him touch a dish, afraid that he could get hurt. How was he supposed to get out of the hotel?!

 

Luhan gathered his courage and walked closer to the entrance. He was about to sprint to his car from the entrance but Mrs. Lu blocked her arms, looking at him suspiciously.

 

"Where are you going?"

 

"Uhm, I left my charger in the car..." He lied and left the next second. He would have felt sorry if something didn't matter more.

 

Luhan arrived at the Han River in about twenty minutes. He felt anxious, thinking about how to best convey his message calmly unlike last time. Luhan leant against the hood of his car and enjoyed the warm breeze. Luhan was getting cranky because Oh Sehun still hadn't shown up after an hour.

 

His annoying habit of never being on time still hasn't changed. Luhan puffed his cheeks out.

 

Only thirty minutes later Sehun's Audi appeared and Luhan got out of his own car, waiting for Sehun to park.

 

Luhan breathed in, trying to gather his courage that seemed to fade away when his fiance's face came into view.

 

"What's the important matter?" Sehun ran his fingers through his hair and took off his sunglasses.

 

"I'm begging you not to come to our wedding tonight," Luhan said, having to get straight to the point now that time was running out.

 

"What's gotten into you? First, you asked me to break off our engagement, now you're telling me to not come to our wedding tonight? What's wrong with you?"

 

"You'll know and understand why I did this later."

 

"For the same reason as the one you gave me before? I apologise, Luhan. I won't even try to understand... Why, Luhan? Why?" Sehun's face was becoming red, a clear sign that he was trying to contain his anger.

 

"Do you really want to know why?" Even though Luhan's voice was barely above a whisper, Sehun didn't miss the stressed word.

 

"This is why!" Luhan shoved the piece of paper that he took from his room that night onto Sehun's chest. Sehun was caught off guard by the sudden push before quickly regaining his composure.

 

"I'm really sorry for taking it without your permission. It wasn't my intention to intrude on your privacy's life but I deserve to know what you've been hiding from me, don't I?" 

 

"You don't have to feel guilty about it about whatever happened between us. It wasn't your fault -- even if it was, I wouldn't blame you for it. Maybe this is my fate. So, please Sehun-ah, don't come to our wedding tonight. Just... disappear." Luhan forced his voice out between muffled sobs.

 

Sehun kept quiet for some time."I've never thought that this card here would be able to kill your love for me. Why are you always sacrificing your happiness for me, Luhan?"

 

"I'm not that cruel enough to build my happiness on someone's sorrow. Even though I've never met Miyoung before, I know that your love belongs to her forever. I know that you're mad at what she did but please... don't let your anger control you because it won't do any good. No matter how mad you are at her, you won't be able to stop loving her. So, please..." Luhan finally let the tears escaped, staining his cheeks.

 

"I'm scared. I'm afraid that she'll come back after we're married and snatch you away from me. You were never mine in the first place." Luhan chuckled miserably to himself. "I didn't marry to get divroced. I'm sorry." 

 

Luhan wiggled his engagement ring off of his finger and placed it inside Sehun's palm. He turned away and wiped his tears, not wanting Sehun to pity him any longer. Sehun kept his head down, even after Luhan drove away.

 

Judging from his reaction, Luhan knew that this had finally come to an end.

 

I gave you the happiness that I promised a long time ago, Sehun.

 

 

_

 

 

Foundation was packed heavily on Luhan's face, hiding every little blemish beneath it, a thin layer of eyeliner carefully filled in above his lashes. The makeup artist finished with a soft pat of gloss to Luhan's lips, admiring him like a dress-up doll.

 

He stared back at himself in the mirror blankly, looking at his porcelain skin and wide eyes and full lips -- he looked beautiful.

 

He was supposed to look beautiful on his wedding day. But despite the fawning of his mother and the make-up artist, he couldn't find any reason to feel happy staring at his perfect reflection. He might have looked pristine in his white suit and carefully made-up face -- but the outside didn't reflect the inside, the inside that threatened to break apart any second.

 

He knew everybody else was putting on a facade as well. His mother sat next to him, hands folded nervously in her lap as she tried to assure Luhan that he was beautiful and everything would be okay. It was easy to hear all of the guests murmuring from where he sat in the dressing room, their voices curious and pitying. It was an hour after the wedding was supposed to start and the groom still hadn't shown up, absolutely nowhere to be found.

 

As relieved as he was that Sehun had followed through with his promise, he hated seeing his parents worked up like this. He wished he could tell his mum the truth so she could stop worrying, looking at him as if this was her mistake. All he wanted to do was tell her it wasn't her fault but he couldn't risk being cut off from his family, to never see her again like his dad had threatened.

 

Speaking of dad... Mr. Lu had been pacing outside of the door for nearly the whole hour, trying to assure the crowd the wedding would go on while typing away on his phone. He'd been trying to get a hold of Sehun and the Oh's, making call after call that all ended in a dial tone. His face was growing redder by the minute as he stepped into the dressing room, shoving his phone back into his pocket. His dad looked like he was about to have a heart attack any minute.

 

"I'm sorry." Luhan finally blurted out, his vision watering a bit. "I think... maybe we should cancel the wedding."

 

Luhan's mother was quick to give him a weak smile, patting his arm. "Don't be silly. Traffic is bad right now... I'm sure Sehun is just running late."

 

"No, he's not... I'm really sorry." Luhan whimpered again, hoping they understood the weight of his tone, that Sehun not showing up wasn't merely bad timing. "He really isn't going to come."

 

The dressing room fell quiet, his mother looking at him in surprise and disbelief, her hand tightening on his arm. His father narrowed his eyes at him, stepping forward and grabbing Luhan by his shoulders, making his son squeak in fear. "What do you mean he isn't going to come? What the hell did you do, Luhan?!"

 

The crowd of guests outside grew quiet at the sound of his raised voice, whispering frantically to each other with wide eyes. His father gritted his teeth, lowering his voice so that it seemed to shake as he spoke. "What did you tell Sehun?"

 

"I'm so sorry." It was all Luhan could manage to say, closing his eyes weakly. He didn't want to tell them but he had felt so bad watching them run in circles trying to figure out where Sehun went. It wasn't fair to keep them in the dark -- he wouldn't tell them exactly what he'd done but he knew his parents deserved a bit of the truth.

 

They deserved to know that Sehun would definitely not show up today and that Luhan knew why, that Luhan may have caused it. His father looked ready to erupt again, tightening his grip on Luhan's shoulders when there was a voice from the doorway.

 

"Luhan, are you okay? This thing hasn't started for an hour yet. I wanted to say hi to the bride before he goes to the altar." Kai grinned at him from the door, looking meticulously handsome and put together in his black suit. His smile seemed to fade a bit when he saw Luhan's wide, teary eyes and Mr. Lu's furious expression both pointed at him. He looked between the two of them in surprise, gaze softening on Luhan's shaken smile back at him.

 

"What's going on? Are you hurt?" Kai asked worriedly. "Why isn't Sehun here?"

 

"Luhan did something and now nobody can find Sehun! He's ruined his wedding and his whole life! How am I supposed to show my face to anywhere after this embarrassment?" Mr. Lu yelled, turning his face back towards Luhan. "What the hell did you do? There has to be a wedding!"

 

"Stop it!" Kai stepped forward, pushing himself between Mr. Lu and Luhan. "You said there has to be a wedding, right? Does it matter who the groom is?"

 

Luhan blinked in surprise, grabbing Kai's hand in shock. "What are you talking about? I'm supposed to marry Sehun."

 

"He can't just marry some stranger! We didn't pay all of this money to marry our son to anybody but Sehun!" His mother finally spoke up, looking at everybody hysterically.

 

"It wouldn't be a stranger," Kai reassured them, looking surprisingly calm for the situation. "You want a wedding so bad? I'm willing to be the groom."

 

Everybody in the room froze, staring at Kai as if he'd grown another head. Luhan's mouth parted in pure bewilderment, blinking his eyes up at Kai -- he couldn't be serious. There was absolutely no way Kai meant it.

 

"Kai, stop-- stop joking around, it's not funny." Luhan protested, stifling a sob. "Please be serious for once."

 

"I'm absolutely serious," Kai answered, his gaze reflecting how stern he was. "Mr. Lu, if you need a groom, I'll marry him. You know I come from a good family like Sehun."

 

Luhan could hardly believe what Kai was saying. Kai was engaged! How could he be serious about this? It would ruin his life as well. But the look Kai had given him was genuine, looking completely sure that he was going to go through with this. Luhan couldn't let Kai do this -- he was being too good of a friend. Now it was Kai sacrificing his own happiness instead. Luhan had to put a stop to this.

 

"No, Kai, you're already--"

 

"Just be quiet, Luhan." His father snapped, his son immediately shutting up with a whimper. "Kai, are you serious? Are you willing to do it?"

 

"Absolutely. I'd do anything for Luhan." Kai nodded, giving Luhan a reassuring smile that did nothing to calm the smaller boy's nerves. "We can have this wedding."

 

Mr. Lu's face tightened, staring at his wife for a few seconds before turning back to the two of them. "If you're serious, then let's hurry up and have this wedd--"

 

There was another knock on the door and they all turned to stare, wide-eyed at the wedding planner who seemed to be out of breath, her hair in disarray. She took a deep breath, her eyes directly on Luhan.

 

"The groom has arrived!"


	10. Jasmine

"We apologise for the lateness, there were some obstacles on our way here." Mr. Oh said, bowing as he shook hands with Luhan's father. Mrs. Lu closed the door gently after her husband left.

 

Luhan looked at Kai sadly and muttered a silent 'I'm sorry'. Kai gave him a reassuring smile, "Don't say that. I'm fine. Be strong, I'll always be there for you." Luhan's eyes followed his friend's steps out of the door and sighed. He felt sorry. He never thought that Kai would be willing to sacrifice that much for him. But Luhan wasn't able to repay him and he knew that Kai understood him. 

 

The makeup artist sprinted towards him and began to fix his melted eyeliner that had been cried off.

 

Luhan was really mad at Sehun. Why won't you ever listen to me? 

 

Luhan walked down the aisle with his father by his side. He faced the doctor, trying to find the hidden meaning behind those emotionless eyes.

 

Everything passed by like a flash of light and unconsciously, Luhan found himself muttering 'I do' and the next second, Sehun leaned in. Luhan whispered, "I'm sorry that I can't help you anymore," and closed his eyes tightly when Sehun's cold lips met his own.

 

 

_

 

 

Sehun kept his hand secured on his wife's hips and thanked the guests for congratulating them. Luhan's eyes accidentally met his husband's and Sehun smiled adoringly before placing a kiss on his forehead. Luhan was flustered as he turned his head away, a few guests whistling at the sudden romantic gesture. 

 

Was that a sincere smile? Sehun must feel disgusted for having to act all lovely-dovey with me.

 

"Congratulations, Luhan!" Clara hugged him as she smiled brightly, looking incredibly happy for her friend's marriage.

 

Luhan didn't expect for Clara to attend his wedding because when he gave the invitation to her, she said that she had family issues and couldn't come. Nonetheless, he hugged her back excitedly.

 

"Where's your husband?" Clara asked. A few curious eyes started asking among themselves if she was a model or an artist. Luhan wasn't that surprised actually. After all, Clara had the looks of a goddess.

 

"He's there," Luhan pointed to Sehun who was laughing with his colleagues. "Let me introduce you to him."

 

"That'd be great! I've never seen him except for the pictures in your album." She grinned.

 

"Sehun!" Luhan called and Sehun snapped his head up, raising one of his brows as he bid goodbye to his colleagues and walked towards them. Sehun glanced at Clara for half a second before returning his gaze to Luhan.

 

"Hi, congratulations!" Clara beamed as she extended her hand towards the physician. Sehun accepted the handshake with his usual emotionless face.

 

Luhan suddenly felt jealous as the handshake lasted for a few second before Sehun pulled his hand away. Luhan looked away, trying to rid himself of jealousy but he was left startled when Sehun snaked his arm around Luhan's waist, pulling him in closer. Luhan was quite sure that his husband could hear his unstable and frantic heartbeat.

 

"This is my housemate, Clara." Luhan introduced, eyes locked on each other.

 

Clara was staring at Sehun with a sharp look. Luhan was expecting that to happen because Sehun looked simply gorgeous in his black suit while Luhan merely looked petite and cute in white.

 

"Sehun." Sehun uttered shortly.

 

"When is it gonna be your turn, Clara? Don't forget to invite me." Luhan exclaimed jokingly. Clara had once told him about her love life that lasted years with her current boyfriend.

 

"Possibly soon, Luhan. When that one realises he can't live without me." She chuckled at the end.

 

"You shouldn't be like that... Sulking won't do any good. That's like torturing yourself. Why would you torture yourself?" Luhan said disapprovingly. It wasn't like he wanted to meddle with her love life but a good friend should do that, right? Clara had been sulking about her boyfriend because of some unknown reason and Luhan felt the need to give her some advice -- she's a part of his family too.

 

Sehun must've felt the tense meaning behind Luhan's word because he suddenly turned and glared at Luhan. But it was alright -- glare all you want, the words he said were also meant for his husband.

 

"Don't worry, Luhan. I know him too well." She exclaimed confidently.

 

Well, Clara was incredibly pretty and who would be stupid enough to let her go? It must've felt good to be pretty because love will always find it's way to you.

 

"Luhan!" 

 

Luhan snapped his head to the left and waved to Kai, who was wearing a different navy-blue suit. Kai was waving enthusiastically at him and Luhan tried to not face-palm because Kai looked like an idiot. Kai smiled broadly with a girl by his side. 

 

Luhan thought Kai had left because he wasn't seen during the photography session. But Luhan was relieved when he was still there, still smiling! He was so happy that there were no hard feelings between them. It's not often that your best friend offers himself to be the replacement groom, right?

 

"You guys keep on chatting, I wanna go there for a while," Luhan told his husband and Clara. He couldn't wait to meet his friend, the only one that understands him most along with Baekhyun. It was such a pity that his other best friend wasn't able to attend because he flew to France yesterday. The memory of Baekhyun bursting into his room with big fat tears was still fresh on his mind. The sassy boy told him that he got invited to a fashion workshop and he actually refused to go before Luhan knocked him on the head, telling him that he had to go. When he came back, they'd throw a Byun Baekhyun-specific party.

 

"Where are you going?" Sehun asked as he grabbed Luhan's arm, preventing him from going.

 

"I want to greet my best friend, Kai," Luhan answered honestly. There was no harm in telling the truth. Sehun's hard grip was still firmly attached to his arm and it started to ache. Luhan tried to pull his hand away, demanding for Sehun to let go.

 

"Oh, Kai. If that's the case, let's go. I also want to know more about your best friend." Luhan furrowed his brows in confusion as he let Sehun drag him to where Kai was sitting.

 

It's not like Sehun has no idea who's his best friend. He knew Kai, they'd met two times already. Sehun even brought Kai into their arguments! 

 

"When did you arrive?" Luhan immediately asked when they stopped in front of Kai and the girl.

 

"Not that long ago... Congrats, Luhan-ah. I hope that you remain happy with this marriage." Kai smiled cynically as if he understood what Luhan was feeling inside. His eyes never left the sight of Luhan and Sehun's hands secured in a tight grip.

 

"Of course, he will be happy. You don't need to worry about anything. He's married to me and I know how to be a good husband so mind your own business." Sehun spoke up all of sudden. 

 

"Wah, is this your fiance? She's so pretty, no wonder you're engaged." Luhan beamed, praying hard that he succeeded in changing the topic so that another argument wouldn't erupt between Sehun and his best friend.

 

"No, silly. This is my little sister, Eunmi. She just arrived in Seoul a few hours ago, that's why I disappeared during the photography session. I needed to pick this little baby up at the airport." Kai received a slap on his hand and Luhan heard the girl mutter, "I am not a baby, excuse you."

 

"Hi Luhan-Oppa, congratulations on your wedding! You look breathtaking." She chirped, catching Luhan off guard at her friendly remark. Really, though, like brother like sister. Luhan thought. 

 

"Thank you, Eunmi. You look pretty too. Kai, why didn't you bring your fiance?" Luhan asked but he only got a smile in return.

 

"Oppa broke off his engagement," Eunmi replied.

 

"Broke off his engagement? When? What happen? Why didn't you tell me?"

 

Kai smiled bitterly. "We don't really get along. It's nothing serious."

 

"Aww, it's alright, buddy. There's still a lot of people out there. You know, with your look, anybody would die to be with you." Luhan gave his friend a reassuring pat and Luhan felt himself being tugged around his waist by Sehun. Seriously, what was wrong with this guy? Luhan was just being a good friend.

 

"You're alright, right?" He suddenly felt worried for Kai. God knows what he hid behind that eye-smile.

 

"So, how long are we going to talk here? There's still so many other guests that we need to greet. Let's go, Luhan." Sehun interrupted and Luhan wanted to strangle him right there and then. Why is Sehun so annoying?

 

Luhan really doesn't get Sehun. He's always in a bad mood whenever Kai is there -- scratch that, he's always in bad mood 24/7 but it gets worse when Kai is there. Jealous? Impossible, that was the last thing that Luhan would think of. There's something that they were hiding from him. But the question is, what was it?

 

"It's fine, Luhan. Go and greet the others. I'm going to enjoy more food, it's super delicious! I think I can eat the whole buffet. Let's meet later. Take care of your feelings properly..." Kai was still grinning as he faced Luhan, all eyes on him.

 

"Luhan, let's go!"

 

Sehun... what was wrong with this guy?

 

 

_

 

 

The guests slowly left one by one as the sky got darker. Luhan rearranged all the gift and presents that they got, wiping his sweaty forehead. As soon as he was done, he jumped on the living room couch to lie down for a bit. They were at the Lu's mansion since Luhan requested for them to head back to the house as soon as the ceremony ended. He was dead tired.

 

Sehun rushed to their room as soon as they arrived, leaving Luhan alone to arrange the gifts. His face was plastered with a frown, clearly unhappy about something. When can I ever see his smile again?  

 

Luhan watched television reruns, blankly staring at the Running Man members joking around. Although his eyes were directed at the show, his mind was wondering somewhere else. It was nearly 2 am and Luhan wanted to do nothing else but to sleep. But knowing that Sehun was in that room, Luhan didn't have any thought of going in there -- he'd probably just disturb Sehun's sleep.

 

He was far more willing to stay up and watch reruns until the sunrise rather than being in the same room as Sehun. He was thankful that no one happened to go downstairs at this hour so he'd succeed in avoiding his husband for the night. As for the upcoming nights... well, he'd think about that later.

 

Luhan awoke when his shirt was tugged softly. He opened his eyes, blinking rapidly to adjust his blurry vision as his father's face came into view.

 

"Why are you sleeping here?" Mr Lu asked, surprising Luhan. What should he answer?

 

"I-I..." He stuttered. He couldn't make up any lies, his mind going blank. He sighed dejectedly and kept quiet while his father kept on looking at him as if he was angry -- or, perhaps, disappointed?

 

"Luhan-ah, let's go to sleep!" Sehun's voice from the kitchen surprised them both. "Eh, you're not asleep yet, dad?" He casually asked.

 

"You startled me, Sehun. I see, so you're both are not asleep yet." Mr. Lu chuckled. He was relieved and Luhan was as well from having not to answer the earlier question.

 

"We were watching the television, dad except the TV ended up watching us instead. We both fell asleep on the couch. I was about to wake Luhan up but I decided to go and get a glass of water first." The strings of words escaped his mouth brilliantly with no hint that he was lying.

 

"We're going upstairs first, dad. Goodnight." Sehun grabbed his hand and interlaced their fingers, guiding the sleepy Luhan upstairs while Mr. Lu replied with a slight nod and a huge grin. Whether Luhan liked it or not, he was forced to follow his husband to his room Sehun's grip on his hand was tight as if he didn't want to let go. Wouldn't that be great it that was the reality? But Luhan was aware that was just his dream -- his stupid wish.

 

When the door was closed, Sehun immediately loosened his grip and jumped in bed without a word. Sehun didn't even spare him a glance. When Sehun pulled up the covers, Luhan quietly sat in front of the dressing table. He laid his head down, crying tears that never seemed to dry, pooling under his arms.

 

Why was he chosen to face this kind of challenge? Luhan needed to be strong because he had his own plan for this marriage. The most important thing was that he fulfilled all the promises he made.

 

Every single thing was planned out in his mind, clear and thorough.

 

I will work hard to bring back Sehun's happiness that was long gone after Miyoung's disappearance. The first step, stop loving him. But how will I stop loving him when I've done that for years?

 

There was only one way: to distance himself from his husband. But how? Luhan ruffled his hair messily, feeling suffocated even though the air conditioner was still working.

 

And then, Luhan fell asleep with his arm supporting his head and his mind feeling heavy with all the thoughts and possibilities.


	11. Kalmia

Luhan rubbed his eyes lazily, awoken by the sound of a running shower. The clock showed half past seven and Luhan yawned. It was far too early to wake up for him. He was still so sleepy since he only had around 4 hours of sleep that night. He glanced towards the bathroom, his gaze lingering on the white door before he grabbed a new towel from his walk-in-closet, heading out of the room.

 

Facing Sehun so early in the morning wasn't his ideal choice so he went to the guest room and took a long bath, connecting his phone to the speaker to play some of Yiruma's music. He calmed down enough to think of how he could avoid Sehun.

 

After he was done, he carefully tiptoed to his room wearing only a bathrobe because he was too stupid to bring his clothes. It was risky since his parent's bedroom was only a few doors away and he really couldn't think of any excuse if he was caught by Mr. Lu. They would probably suspect that something was wrong but Luhan was confident that he could fool them with a fake smile. 

 

He pushed the door to reveal Sehun with only a towel draped around his waist, seeming like he just got out of the shower. Luhan was stunned and froze, unsure of how to react because HOLY SHIT SEHUN WITH WET HAIR IS HOT! 

 

"You might wanna close your mouth and the door."

 

Luhan dropped his bundle of used pyjamas, quickly gathering it back up before tossing it on the bed. He could deal with that later. Sehun gestured him to close the door again. Mrs. Lu conveniently passed by at this time, smiling at the two of them.

 

"Honey, I was about to call you for breakfast!" 

 

Luhan kept still, unsure of how to react because he'd just made himself into a fool in front of Sehun and then his mother suddenly appeared in the hallway. Mrs Lu cocked an eyebrow when her son went silent, glancing towards Sehun and then noticing Sehun's wet hair -- shirtless with nothing except for a towel hooked on his hips. At last, she saw Luhan in his bathrobe, his cheeks flushed.

 

"Oh. Oh." She exclaimed.

 

"Well then... my bad, honey. I forgot that you just got married. You're still a precious baby to me. Continue with whatever you were doing or finishing and have fun, newlyweds." She grinned before hurrying out of Luhan's room. She was practically skipping out of joy.

 

Luhan was still frozen, gazing out the door in embarrassment. Sehun walked towards the door and shut it with a light kick. "Go on and get dressed." Luhan snapped out his thoughts and ran towards his walk-in-closet, shutting it with a loud bang.

 

After getting dressed, Luhan stepped back into the bedroom and found Sehun lying on the bed while browsing on his iPad. Luhan figured Sehun was too busy to notice him so he stuck closely to the wall, trying to avoid stepping into Sehun's line of sight and slowly snuck out. He'd done a great job so far because Sehun seemed too engrossed in whatever he was doing. Luhan was suddenly thankful for the big size of his room, turning the doorknob halfway.

 

"Luhan, come here for a second. There's no use in sneaking around, I saw you the moment you came out of the closet." Sehun called, eyes still focused on his iPad while patting the space next to him.

 

Luhan looked like a deer caught in the headlights -- it's not like he wasn't one already, his face tinted with red and mouth hanging opened. Luhan regained his composure and made his way towards the bed, a little bit too slowly for Sehun's liking. He situated himself on the far side of the bed, unable to move any closer to his husband.

 

"I hope you understand why I continued with this marriage."

 

Luhan didn't need to hear why; he knew this marriage was only a trick, all for Miyoung to reflect on the consequences of leaving Sehun. Sehun only wanted Miyoung to realise her faults, on how mad Sehun was when she refused to come back to Seoul as promised.

 

Luhan didn't want to keep talking about their marriage because he was speechless, unsure of what they could even discuss. He needed much more time before he could even talk about it.

 

"There's no use in regretting it so you don't have to worry. I won't take advantages of our marriage" Luhan left as soon as he was done talking, not wanting to drag out the topic of their stupid marriage any longer.

 

Luhan's father was undoubtedly happy during breakfast. He joked around with his son-in-law while Sehun responded brilliantly to each remark. Maybe Luhan was the only one suffering and unhappy, the fried rice feeling like sand in his mouth. Sehun did a good job in convincing his parents that their marriage was alright. Sehun acted like the perfect husband, wiping the corner of Luhan's mouth for crumbs and refilling his orange juice when the glass was almost empty. Sehun was a great actor because he'd succeeded in blinding Luhan's parents. He was nothing like the Sehun behind doors. 

 

"Have you two thought of where you want to go for your honeymoon?"

 

Sehun choked at the question. Luhan handed him a glass of water and Sehun gulped it down in seconds. Luhan was also immersed in his perfect husband role, patting his husband's back with soft strokes -- Sehun wasn't the only one who could act.

 

"Dad! It hasn't even been a day since we got married. We're so tired and you're already asking about our honeymoon?" Luhan tried to brush off the topic as Sehun obviously wasn't comfortable with it, judging by his expression.

 

Luhan wouldn't ever travel alone with Sehun because that was the last thing he wanted to do. In fact, he wanted to increase their distance even more so Sehun wasn't so restless or burdened.

 

"Son, this is the perfect time for you to go on your honeymoon." Mr. Lu babbled, his wife sporting a smile that showed she obviously agreed with him.

 

"Maybe later in the future... I don't really have that many days off, dad," Sehun replied, his face showing obvious discomfort with the discussion. Luhan blankly stared at his unfinished food, appetite long gone.

 

Mrs. Lu brushed passed her son and teasingly whispered, "Don't worry, I won't tell your dad about what happened this morning," before she disappeared into the kitchen.

 

Luhan choked afterwards.

 

 

_

 

 

Luhan placed his neatly folded clothes inside the closet. His eyes wandered to Sehun's luggage which was situated at the end of the room, some of its contents peeking out. Should he unpack them? 

 

He was Sehun's spouse now and it was his responsibility to take care of his husband. He wanted to make him comfortable but he also didn't want to meddle in his life. Maybe it was because Luhan was still mad or because he knew Sehun wouldn't appreciate it.

 

He knew that Sehun wanted Luhan to be at least five metres far from him at all times. Sehun probably couldn't breathe when Luhan was near him -- he wasn't Miyoung, the one who always made Sehun happy, the one who always cheered him up, the one who made him feel on cloud nine with her dazzling smile. He'd never be Miyoung.

 

The memory of the emails from Miyoung to Sehun were still fresh on his mind.

 

'Didn't you tell me that I'm the only one capable of bringing out your smile? That I'm the only one who can make you feel happy with my eye-smile? Was it because of something small and unworthy that you made yourself suffer without me in your life? You won't be able to live without me. Stop lying to yourself.'

 

Yes, Sehun. Stop lying to yourself.

 

"What are you day dreaming of?"

 

Luhan jumped slightly, startling all thoughts about the email from his mind. Sehun grimaced at him, closing the bathroom door as the sound of the shower echoed throughout the room.

 

Luhan laid down on the bed, rolling onto his stomach and browsing through his inbox. Most emails were congratulating him on his marriage and he sighed. Only if they know...

 

After a few minutes, the bathroom door clicked open and Luhan sat up in bed, fixing his ruffled hair. "Sehun, what should I get for you? What do you want to wear?" Luhan had already lost this game - he still wanted to take care of Sehun.

 

"Just take anything. Sweatpants and a t-shirt are fine." Luhan walked into the closet, already regretting feeling concerned. Sehun could get it by himself but it's better not to cause any trouble.

 

Are you sure that's the only reason you're helping him?

 

Okay, maybe not. Oh Sehun must be shirtless right now with only a towel on his hips. Luhan tried hard not to glance back because I am not a pervert. Luhan stepped closer to his husband, his gaze was fixed on anything that wasn't Sehun. He handed over the clothes before proceeding to walk out of the suffocating silence.

 

"Luhan." His right arm was yanked and he stumbled against Sehun. He shut his eyes tightly, blushing so hard that he could feel the heat in his cheeks.

 

"I'm so sorry!" Luhan straightened himself out.

 

"Here, keep this." Sehun opened his palm to reveal the engagement ring Luhan had returned to him yesterday. Should he take it back?

 

"Just wear it... Mama bought this one just for you. What would she say if she saw you without it?" Sehun grabbed his hand and forcibly put it in Luhan's palm, urging him to get out so he could get dressed.

 

Luhan sighed -- so he had to wear the ring again. The ring that carried no meaning except for heartbreak and suffering. It'd been less than a day since he got married and he already felt weak. Could he really survive a few more months and return the happiness he promised to Sehun?

 

 

_

 

 

A party to congratulate the newlyweds was held at the Oh's. Most of the guests were Mr. and Mrs. Oh's colleagues. Luhan was in a casual blue t-shirt and washed-out denim jeans since the party didn't have a dress code. Everyone was dressed comfortably, no choking ties and no suits to possibly ruin.

 

Sehun was in a red t-shirt and a pair of black jeans -- they didn't look matched at all, hardly like a married couple. Luhan even thought their colors made them look like rivals.

 

Luhan was surprised Sehun wasn't wearing anything purple. Luhan knew the reason Sehun loved purple so much was because of Miyoung. It was also her favorite color, one of the many things they shared an interest in. Meanwhile, there was no similarities between him and Sehun.

 

His lips was getting tired of giving fake smiles -- Sehun must have felt the same way. Luhan was getting tired of acting like the happy spouse alongside his perfect husband when they were both clearly miserable.

 

Luhan was starting to count the days, hoping for some miracle to separate him from Sehun so the would no longer be a burden. His heart disagreed every time his mind told him to leave Sehun's life. The painful truth was that Luhan wanted to live by Sehun's side for the rest of his life. However, he didn't have the power to stop Sehun's overwhelming love for Miyoung.

 

Luhan felt totally left out as he sat besides Mrs. Oh, who was engaged in a friendly conversation with her friends. Sehun was entertaining Nana and Luhan felt like he was only an outsider once again, as if no one cared about him.

 

As the guests started leaving, Luhan also took the chance to escape as the sound of Sehun and Nana's laughter echoed through the living room. When Sehun was with him, he hardly laughed -- hell, he hardly even smiled. But with her, it was so easy for him to smile cheerfully. Luhan had realised a long time ago that he would always fail to be the reason behind that smile.

 

"Mama, I'll head upstairs first, alright> Thank you for coming, aunties." He bowed and left.

 

There was nothing for him to see if he stayed there longer. He was jealous -- he wouldn't deny it but who was he to feel jealous? He meant nothing to Sehun.

 

Luhan entered the room he'd once stayed in. The colours made him feel sick and suffocated. He hated purple so much, even when it'd done nothing wrong. The bed sheet had been changed to white and rose petals laid on top, forming a heart shape.

 

"Why are you day dreaming in here again?"

 

Luhan snapped his head towards the door and watched Sehun close it. Luhan didn't answer the question because he had no idea what to say.

 

"Nana's leaving and she wanted to meet you. Go say hi to her."

 

"Why does she want to meet me?" Luhan asked in surprise.

 

"There's nothing wrong with her wanting to meet my husband. Why are you so mad about it?"

 

"When was I ever mad?" Luhan responded, only angry to be accused of something so ridiculous.

 

"Okay, if you're not mad, why are you questioning what she asked? Is her meeting you such a big problem?"

 

Luhan sighed -- no matter what, it was always his fault to Sehun. What could he ever do to stop that? Nothing but let his bleeding heart heal.

 

"Even if I stand up for myself, I'm always the one at fault, right?" Luhan glared directly at Sehun and left the room. If he stayed any longer, it would still be his fault. And Nana -- what did this girl want from him?

 

Luhan dragged his feet forcefully downstairs and looked around for a certain blonde girl. She was nowhere to be found -- in the living room, on the balcony, nowhere! Why did she disappear when she was the one asking to meet him?

 

"Stop looking for her, she went home." A soft voice murmured in his ear. Luhan shut his eyes tightly, feeling furious and annoyed. She was the one requesting to meet him, so why did she go home first? And how did Sehun know that she already left?

 

"Next time, learn to be mindful of other people's feelings." Sehun whispered slowly before brushing past him to meet his mother. If it was up to Luhan, he would scream and shout and yell to the whole world so they knew how much pain he was in. Those thoughts would always be kept tightly inside his heart, ripping him to pieces.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cross-posted this story on aff and wattpad too. And this story already has more than 25 chapters posted there. I just always forgot to update here, my bad ><


	12. Lily

Luhan had kept his mouth shut since everything that happened yesterday, not uttering a single word to Sehun. He wasn't protesting; it was the best to keep quiet because there would always be an argument as soon as he opened his mouth.

 

He was tired... tired of getting his heart broken.

 

Maybe Kai did have a point. Luhan needed to care for his heart more so it won't get hurt by Sehun.

 

His 'mission' of finding clues about Sehun's abandoned love story started as soon as he saw the opportunity. Sehun was gone along with his dad for an evening jog and Luhan quickly fiddled with the shelves, trying to find anything related to Miyoung. It would be easier to trace her whereabouts if he could find more and more clues.

 

He brought the stack of boxes onto the bed and started to check its contents one by one, reading thoroughly through each note, hoping for a miracle.

 

After some time, Luhan gave up with a huff and neatly tidied up the mess he made. He sighed heavily, disappointed that he'd found nothing Sehun and Miyoung related. Sehun must be super secretive or he might have guessed that Luhan was up to something and hid most of the boxes. Come to think of it, even the gifts that Luhan got him vanished from the glass cabinet. He inhaled deeply, wondering if he should continue searching through the room or to just call it a day.

 

Why was it so hard to bring back the main source of Sehun's happiness?

 

Night came and the sky was decorated with brightly shining stars. Once again, Luhan would just stand on the balcony, drowning himself with meaningless thoughts as he waited for Sehun to fall asleep.

 

Sehun hadn't questioned him even once and Luhan was sure that his husband was more comfortable like that. Luhan never thought of interrupting his husband's sleep so, as always, Luhan would let himself fall asleep in the uncomfortable position of his head on the dressing table. Before going to bed, he would often stare at the sleeping doctor's face -- he looked so peaceful, not a frown on his perfect face.

 

But Luhan wouldn't forever sleep in that position because he'd made up his mind -- once they moved into their own house, he would sleep in a separate room.

 

Luhan wasn't able to get himself to sleep, too busy thinking about Miyoung. Why on earth did she leave Sehun? Where was she now? Those thoughts never left his mind, as if they were taunting him, encouraging him to find the truth. If he knew where Miyoung was hiding, he would connect her string of love back to Sehun. After that, Luhan wiould run away and leave all of this heartbreak behind to start a new life.

 

Luhan found himself downstairs, heading through the kitchen in the dark.

 

 

Dark... 

 

As dark as how my heart, my soul, and my entire body are.

 

Luhan got a glass of cold water in hope that it would soothe his tangled mind while he sat at the table, staring into the darkness. Truth be told, he wasn't thirsty at all. All he could think of was how to gain information about Miyoung.

 

The kitchen's light turned on all of sudden and Luhan quickly brought the glass to his mouth, pretending like he was taking a drink.

 

"It's quite late, sweetie. Why aren't you asleep yet?" Mrs. Oh asked curiously as she stood still, face painted with shock. Luhan only gave his mother-in-law a smile in return.

 

"My eyes just wouldn't close, mum." Luhan chuckled.

 

"It's nearly 4! You should be tucked in bed and asleep right now. Don't tell me that you haven't slept a wink since last night?" 

 

Luhan averted his gaze from the woman and Mrs. Oh knew the answer perfectly well.

 

"Can I ask you a question?"

 

Luhan doubted the older woman didn't know about the troubles in their marriage. She must have sensed the discomfort that was masked by their fake smiles -- she was a mother after all. The newlyweds avoided each other like the plague; when Sehun entered the kitchen, Luhan would quickly excuse himself. When Luhan entered the living room and Sehun was there reading the newspaper, Luhan would turn away. It was clear that Luhan was avoiding his own husband.

 

"I've noticed that... that you aren't exactly happy with this marriage. Can I ask why?"

 

Luhan placed the glass he was unconsciously gripping down while heaving a sigh, trying to find the energy to explain the situation. "I am only going to be happy if Sehun finds his happiness, mum."

 

Luhan finally admitted it: he was not happy with the marriage. He was drowning minsery instead because of Oh Sehun, his own husband who wasn't willing to marry him.

 

"What do you mean?" Luhan had no idea whether the woman was really clueless or if she was acting. The question that was thrown at him was left unanswered.

 

"Are you close with Sehun, mum?" 

 

"Of course, sweetie. Sehun is my one and only son. Whatever happens in his life, I know everything. Apart from being his mother, I'm his part-time counsellor too! He always asks for advice and never keeps a secret from me."

 

It seemed like Luhan had found the right person to tell him the truth.

 

"If that's the case, do you, by any chance, know who Miyoung is?"

 

The bright smile on Mrs. Oh's face faded away in an instant.

 

"I'm feeling so sleepy. Let's talk tomorrow, Luhan." She quickly got ready to flee the kitchen.

 

Luhan grabbed her arm swiftly. "Mum, please. I really need to know about her! I only want you to tell me what they've been hiding from me. Please, help me."

 

Mrs Oh stopped walking and stared straight into his eyes, her eyes void of any emotion. "I am not interested in talking about someone who I don't like!" She said, her voice stern and shaking. She loosened his grip and walked away.

 

"But don't you want to see Sehun happy? He's your only son!" Luhan shouted at her. Her steps halted when she heard the words before she slowly turned around.

 

 

_

 

 

The past were reopened as one by one of Sehun and Miyoung's love stories were revealed. For the sake of Sehun's happiness, Mrs. Oh finally forced herself to speak of the girl she disliked so much.

 

Luhan tried to maintain a steady face to seem unfazed about the whole story. The last thing he wanted was for his mother-in-law to feel guilty about revealing everything even though he was the one who kept pushing her for the truth.

 

His heart was hurting badly again but he truly felt sorry for what had happened to their perfect relationship. They started off smooth, only to end up breaking. 

 

Now, Luhan's determination to return Sehun's happiness had increased dramatically. He wanted to erase all the misery that his husband had gone through. Whatever ended up happening, Luhan would bring Sehun back to the angel of his heart and no one else would replace her.

 

As for his miserable state of marriage? He would gladly let fate decide that.

 

"I was really surprised when he told me the's bringing you to the Boutique Monaco. That penthouse was actually one of the gifts that Sehun prepared for Miyoung once they got married. He took months decorating the house himself but I never guessed that they'd break up. I once asked him why he didn't just sell the penthouse when they separated. He said that because he had lost Miyoung, he won't give up on the one memory he still had."

 

The long awaited information slowly sank in his mind. He never had a chance to be in Sehun's heart from the start. Tt was completely filled with his love for another woman.

 

"But there's no need to worry anymore. That's all in the past and it's meant to be forgotten. As his mother, I'm sure that she won't come back to Korea. What's important now is that you're his spouse, sweetie. Don't think too much about it, okay?" Mrs. Oh tried to comfort him -- maybe she could see the disappointment on his face. Luhan should've put on his mask of indifference but he was too hurt, too numb to care.

 

"Do you know where she is right now? Wouldn't it be great if we could find her?"

 

"Luhan!" 

 

"I only want Sehun to be happy." He said, looking to her for support.

 

 

_

 

 

Sehun took the luggage from Luhan's grasp and made his way into the elevator. Luhan was too tired to protest so he willingly allowed him to grab it. Sehun pressed the button for the 20th floor and Luhan's face immediately paled. God knows how much Luhan feared heights. His previous apartment was on the second floor, which was just low for him to be comfortable. However, his acrophobia always acted up whenever he went any further up -- he began to sweat and pale whenever it happened.

 

Luhan squeezed his eyes tightly shut and the taste of iron flooded his mouth as he bit his tongue till it bled. It was bad enough knowing he was living in what was supposed to be Sehun and Minyoung's heaven and now it had to be on the twentieth floor. Luck was definitely not on his side.

 

"Are you okay?"

 

Their gazes lingered on each other and Luhan debated whether he should tell the truth or not, but chose to just shake his head instead. It wasn't important. Sehun wouldn't care so why bother telling him?

 

Their luggage were placed on the marble floor before Sehun fished the access card from his back pocket. The door let out a loud beep before it automatically opened itself, revealing the interior. Shocked was not the right word to describe Luhan's feelings. He was totally flabbergasted by the way the way Sehun had decorated the penthouse.

 

As Luhan stood there impressed, he could also feel a lump rising in his throat. Every single wall was covered in purple! Luhan had no idea why he felt so bitter when he clearly knew the penthouse had been for Miyoung.

 

"Are gonna stand there all whole day or are you coming in?" Sehun threw himself onto the sofa and crossed his arms, his eyes seeming to pierce through Luhan.

 

"Make yourself at home. This is our house after all."

 

"Our house?" Luhan unconsciously let it slip out but deep down, he was curious what reaction he'd get.

 

"Of course it's our house. Why? You don't like it?"

 

"What if I tell you that I don't? Will you sell this and buy me a new one?"

 

"Nonsense! I haven't gone made enough to sell this penthouse. This is my only treasure left from Miyo..." Sehun cut his words short and sighed.

 

Luhan could only keep his head down while he gave Sehun a reassuring smile, acting as if he wasn't hurt by his words. Luhan didn't know what was wrong with himself. What was he expecting? He knew everything through Mrs. Oh so why did he ask? He was left with his heart shattered.

 

"Umm, where do I sleep?" Luhan wanted to change the topic as the silence was suffocating him. "I mean, which one is my room?"

 

Sehun's breathing turned uneven for a moment as he stared straight into his spouse's eyes. "Just choose any room you want. Here, take this key and keep it. I'm going out for a while."

 

As soon as the key was in Luhan's palm, the door closed with a beep as Sehun disappeared behind it.

 

Luhan stared at his palm, feeling stupid. Why was he holding the key that was supposed to be Miyoung's? He didn't belong there!

 

He hated being there!

 

 

_

 

 

Luhan chose the room downstairs, located far down the hallway. He had no idea where Sehun's room was located but the main room was surely his.

 

From the moment he stepped inside the penthouse, he locked himself up in his room. He had the feeling this would be where he'd spend most of his time. He was secretly glad that his room barely had anything else except for a queen-sized bed, a dressing table, a small walk-in closet and a bathroom. The fact that there was so little of Sehun's belongings here comforted him. It was a good thing that the room was painted in monochrome -- Luhan would rather be cooped up in his boring room rather than face purple everywhere he went. He officially despised that colour. 

 

The clock beside his table showed half past ten when there were a few knocks on his locked door. Luhan could hear the doctor calling for him several times.

 

Luhan acted as if he was fast asleep so the banging would go away. His eyes were still wide open with no desire to sleep as he stared into the starless night, at the tops of skyscrapers.

 

He was tired of arguing. It was better for him to be alone and think about how to get through the upcoming days.

 

After a while, the knocks quieted down and his voice was gone. Luhan heaved a sigh of relief that was quickly stopped  after he was shocked with the sound of the door knob shaking.

 

Luhan sat like a deer caught in the headlights as he welcomed Sehun into his room with his jaw dropping.

 

"Have you ever thought that I might have spare keys for my house?"

 

Luhan turned his head away and stood up to close the window, completely ignoring Sehun as he walked lifelessly towards his bed.

 

"Why are you locking yourself up in this room? So now it's cool to not eat or drink anything? Do you really want to get sick?" Sehun's voice slowly rose. "Do you think by locking yourself up, our problems will be solved?!"

 

Oh, how easy it was for Sehun to put the blame on him again. Luhan had completely lost hope. They could never lessen the distance between them again. There was  no way they could return to how they were in their high school days.

 

"Our problems would have been solved long ago if you didn't show up to our wedding." Luhan weakly retorted. Didn't he beg Sehun not come to the wedding since it wouldn't benefit either of them? Why did Sehun choose to come and break his own heart while Luhan slowly died from misery?

 

"Oh, so now you're putting the blame on me? If I can't love you, is it still my fault?"

 

No... None of this is your fault.

 

"If you knew that I was never in love with you, do something, do anything to make me fall for you instead of lazying around acting all pretty!" Sehun stormed out of his room.

 

Luhan fell down on shaky legs. It hurt so bad when the wall he'd so carefully built up had been carelessly broken. They had been engaged for nearly a year, did that not count? Were those efforts only trash for Sehun?

 

Now Sehun wanted him to try harder when his heart no longer felt affection? Luhan knew Sehun needed to learn a lesson so he wouldn't say those hurtful things so easily in the future.

 

"You won't be able to fall for me, ever!" Luhan mumbled as the tears rolled down his cheeks, never seeming to stop


	13. Marigold

 As the morning sun made its appearance, Luhan crept out of his room and stood awkwardly in the hallway, debating whether to be a good husband and prepare breakfast or to make a dash towards the kitchen, snatch some food, and lock himself up again. He opted for the latter.

 

He entered the kitchen and the bright neon note stuck onto the refrigerator's door immediately caught his attention.

 

Work!

 

The words brought a sour feeling to Luhan's heart. It was too damn obvious that he meant nothing to the doctor. Was it really that hard for Sehun to tell him that he had started working again? Was it that hard to personally tell him that he was leaving Luhan alone? Was Luhan so unwanted that his own husband refused to face him? 

 

Not even a single 'take care' was written -- Luhan crumpled the note into a ball and tossed it out of his sight. He couldn't care less where it landed. 

 

A sudden idea came to mind and Luhan nodded vigorously as he smiled brightly -- he knew the perfect way to prove himself to Sehun!

 

 

_

 

 

Three days without the existence of Sehun was enough for Luhan to start on his hidden agenda. He knew perfectly well that Sehun was bound to get mad at whatever he was planning to do but he couldn't care less. Sehun told him to make an effort and that was what Luhan was excitedly planning to do.

 

It sounded so stupid but Luhan secretly yearned for a phone call from Sehun but three days without a single ring were enough to make Luhan stop hoping -- why did he even bother?

 

The enormous penthouse somehow felt bigger without any trace of Sehun. Luhan wondered if he should get used to the eerie silence that had accompanied him for the last few days. 

 

His act as the devoted husband always ended at midnight. Every day he would sit obediently on the couch, a cup of hot chocolate in his hand as the other constantly flipped television channels -- nothing was interesting enough to watch so when the clock struck midnight, Luhan would switch off the television and get ready for bed.

 

"Where is he? Is he alright?" Luhan anxiously grumbled when there was no sign of his husband. It was the third night so Luhan was starting to get worried. What if something happened to Sehun? As much as he disliked the attitude that Sehun often treated him with, Luhan would lie if he said he didn't care about his husband.

 

His steps came to a halt on the last flight of stairs when Luhan heard the code being punched and a slow beep. Luhan changed his direction and headed downstairs. The door opened widely to reveal a tired looking Sehun and he shrugged off his backpack, dropping on the marble floor with a soft thud as soon as he stepped inside.

 

Luhan put on a real smile as he was finally relieved that Sehun came back in one piece. Luhan had no idea where the sudden confidence came from when he softly tugged on Sehun's arm to bring him to the couch but to no avail -- Sehun wouldn't even budge an inch. He stood there, stunned by the sudden change to the color of the penthouse walls  that Luhan painted into a nice shade of pearl white. Even the furniture were arranged differently.

 

Truth be told, Luhan purposely did it to make Sehun realise that his love wouldn't change -- he needed to get rid of the reminders of Miyoung.

 

"Luhan, what the hell did you do?" 

 

"I only did what you asked me to do."

 

"I'm asking you, what the fuck did you do?!" Sehun yelled, his hands furiously shaking Luhan's tiny shoulders. Luhan's eyes grew red as they glistened with unshed tears. Guilt began to creep over himself -- of course, Sehun had the right to get mad, Luhan practically ruined his months of hard work in preparing the house for Miyoung. 

 

"Didn't you tell me to do something? To make an effort for you to fall for me? So now, I want you to forget everything about Miyoung! Stop thinking about her. I don't want to see anything related to her in this house! From today onwards, you can only love me -- only me! Throw her away from your life. I'm your spouse! You should love me and only me! I don't want to be a nobody in my own house." Luhan roughly pushed Sehun's hand away from him, feeling faint from finally spilling his feelings.

 

"Luhan!" Sehun raised his arm high and Luhan shut his eyes tightly, ready for the palm to meet his cheek. 

 

"You've gone too far!" Sehun abruptly lowered his hand before taking his leave, slamming his bedroom door so hard that it echoed through the empty penthouse.

 

Luhan collapsed on his knees with his bottom lip quivering and beads of tears rolling down his plump cheeks. 

 

His first step to happiness had caused more trouble for their already unstable relationship. Luhan only did what he was told to, was he wrong? Was it still his fault?

 

"I'm so sorry... I was stupid for trying to make an effort when I know that you'll never belong to me. Forgive me, Sehun." Luhan whimpered in exhaustion.

 

 

_

 

 

The guilt was eating him alive. Luhan was in distress about how badly Sehun was fading away and how tough it was for his husband to forget his ex-lover instantly. Luhan was still feeling terrible, even when dawn was rising; he couldn't bring himself to sleep when he knew that Sehun was struggling with his penthouse that had completely changed in three days.

 

Luhan knocked on the door again when there was no response from the other side. Sehun can't be sleeping, right?

 

He repeatedly slammed his knuckles onto the hard wood. "Sehun, I know that you're mad and you don't want to look at me right now. But give me a chance to explain and bring the situation back to normal." As normal as it can be because I know that Miyoung still means everything to you.

 

Luhan was left shocked when the door opened slightly. He let himself into the room as Sehun crept back to his king-sized bed. His eyes were closed as if he was blocking out any message that Luhan was trying to tell him.

 

"I... I want to apologise for changing the colour without your knowledge. I know... what I did was completely unjustified. I did this for your own self, Sehun-ah. It was for your own benefit." Luhan stood beside his bed and continued talking, even when there was no sign that Sehun would open his eyes.

 

"I only want you to realise that you won't be able to love anyone else aside from Miyoung. I don't want you to force yourself to love me when you obviously are incapable of doing it. It's impossible for me to make you fall for me, no matter what I do. If I can finally give up, you won't stop rejecting me." He carried on talking, unfazed by the thought that Sehun might not be listening to him. What he knew was that he needed to let it all out so he can finally rid himself of the pressure in his heart.

 

"I've accepted long ago that I never had a place in your life. Forget all the things I said earlier, it was for you to admit that Miyoung is still everything to you. So don't worry, I won't be intruding in your love life anymore, I swear!" He continued rambling as tears blurred his eyesight.

 

"And I know,it's hard for you to accept me as your spouse and I've come to a decision. I've thought about this for so long... Before you patch things up with Miyoung, let me stay as the old best friend that you used to have in high school." Sehun's eyes suddenly popped open at the mention of best friend. He must have been so happy that Luhan decided to no longer care about his love life.

 

Luhan's statement must have been the final key to him regaining his happiness in this marriage, guessing by his positive reaction. And with that, the doe-eyed boy's tears began to fall.

 

"Why am I even crying..." Luhan slapped his cheeks repeatedly -- suddenly embarrassed that he was crying like a baby in front of Sehun.

 

"Luhan..." Sehun grabbed Luhan's hands from hurting himself any further. "I..."

 

"You don't have to worry, Sehun-ah. I know that this mess will come to an end one day. You just need to endure it for a little longer. Can you, please?"

 

"... Again, I promise that I won't disturb your personal life any longer. I won't be a burden anymore. I'm going to be a good friend and will only mind my own business. I promise!" Luhan withdrew his hand from Sehun's grasp and pressed it to his chest. Maybe it was for the best, to keep on being the best friend.

 

Sehun slid off the bed and stepped onto the balcony, leaving Luhan alone inside his room. Noticing that he no longer had anything else to explain, Luhan gathered whatever energy he had left and practically dragged himself out of the bedroom. 

 

Luhan locked his door and leant against it, trying harder and harder to stop the tears from falling again. But he was only a weak person that often cried these days -- he wasn't strong.

 

Just let him cry for this last time because from now on, he needed to be the supportive and cheerful best friend.


	14. Narcissus

Ending up only as a friend for the one you love was harder than Luhan thought it would be. The facade of fake smiles that Luhan put on was nothing -- in order to make Sehun happy, even the impossible seemed possible.

 

Even the most oblivious person could notice how different Sehun was compared to before. He began to smile at Luhan and that was enough for Luhan to force a smile back. All that was important was that Sehun needed to keep on acting like that -- it motivated Luhan to find where Miyoung was and bring her back to Sehun.

 

His classes were starting soon so Luhan made the choice to meet his mother-in-law to talk about something important. Luhan already knew that Mrs. Oh would probably disagree with him but nothing else could stop Luhan now. He would even beg if it meant her joining his "mission".

 

"Luhan, were you waiting for long? The traffic was terrible."

 

"No, I haven't, mum. Please take a seat." He offered politely while pulling out the chair for her.

 

It was great that she came alone. Luhan doesn't want his father-in-law to involve himself with whatever he was planning to do. Besides, Mr. Oh was a close friend of his own father and, as bad as it sounds, Luhan couldn't trust Sehun's father to keep a secret. It was too risky. 

 

And Mrs. Oh was the only one who actually got the hint of what was really going on in their marriage. She would understand more -- she should understand more than anybody else.

 

"What would you like to order? I 've heard a lot of good things about the pasta here. Would you like to try some, mum?" Luhan suggested kindly as he flipped through the menu, eyes going back and forth between the listed dishes.

 

"It's okay, sweetie. A cup of coffee is enough. I'm in a hurry, I'm worried about your father-in-law at home since he's all alone." She gave what seemed to be an obvious excuse. Luhan had the feeling that she was purposely doing that too quickly start their talk.

 

Once the orders were placed, Luhan dismissed the waiter and turned to face Mrs. Oh with his hands clasped tightly.

 

"You said there was an important thing that you wanted to talk about? What is it, sweetie?" As expected, Mrs. Oh quickly got to the point, obviously not trying to drag their meeting out any longer.

 

"I want to talk about Sehun."

 

"Is there something wrong with Sehun?" She asked curiously.

 

"I want you to help me."

 

"What kind of help, Luhan?" She retorted, an uneasy expression forming on her youthful face.

 

"If possible... I want you to help me to find Miyoung." It was as if she was rendered speechless, only responding by blinking her eyes rapidly. She stared at Luhan as if he had just grown another head.

 

"I really don't get you. Why are you doing this? For who? Sehun? That's absurd! You're Sehun's spouse now, why are you bringing her up again? Sweetie, believe me, she isn't a part of Sehun's life anymore" She finally gave her responded -- it didn't take an expert to know she wasn't pleased about his request.

 

"My love for Sehun never once faded. I've always been in love with him... I don't think I can love anyone else except for Sehun. But the point is that Sehun doesn't need to and won't return my love. He can't force himself to love me. I don't have any right to stop his feelings for Miyoung, mum. What I can do is make him happy and that means I need to bring Miyoung back because she makes him the happiest. I will try my hardest to make him happy again, mum." Luhan spoke bluntly.

 

"Isn't it the same for you, mum? He's your only son, the son that you raised so well. Wouldn't it be a great pleasure to see the best for him, to make him happy? I'm sorry if you got the wrong idea of why I'm doing this." Luhan bit his lower lip as he gave her a hopeful gaze.

 

"You're making me guilty, honey. As a mum, of course I want the best for my child but I also want the best for you, Luhan." 

 

"The best for me is also the best for Sehun." 

 

Mrs. Oh kept her head down for a while, complementing whether or not to agree to her son-in-law's crazy idea.

 

"I have no idea where Miyoung might be but I can give you the number of Sehun's close friend. Maybe you can gather the information that you want from him."

 

Mrs. Oh's relenting made him sigh in relief. He smiled sincerely, grabbing her hands in gratitude. "Thank you so much, mum."

 

"I'm the one that should be thanking you, son. You've sacrificed so much for Sehun." She said, her voice laced with a tone that Luhan couldn't grasp -- was it sympathy?

 

"No! I'm not sacrificing anything for him. I just did what feels right to do."

 

 

_

 

 

On the first day of class, Luhan received lots of cooing and teasing from his classmates. One of his hardcore admirers even lunged forward as soon as he stepped into the hall to see his wedding ring, to make sure that the flower boy was indeed married to someone else. He gave them all a smile as if he was wasn't fazed by the attention but actually feeling quite uncomfortable. His anxiety finally fell when the lecturer walked in and the crowd dispersed.

 

Kai seemed not to talk much to him anymore. Was he still mad about what happened at the wedding? 

 

"Kai, can I ask you something?" Luhan blurted out when they both sat down on the green grass. They had decided to spend their time reviewing as the final exam was getting near. 

 

"Erm... what?" Kai replied, hesitating.

 

"Are you mad at me?"

 

"Why should I be?"

 

"I don't know. You're acting quite unusual today. It's like you're mad at me or something. Did I do something wrong?" The questions seemed to spill out of him.

 

"Do I look like I'm mad?" Kai replied smugly, although his expression was unmoved.

 

"Yeah, it's a tad bit obvious that you're mad at me," Luhan answered honestly and rolled his eyes.

 

"Congrats, Luhan! You passed with flying colours!" Kai grinned slyly as he clapped his hands.

 

"Huh?" Luhan scratched hair, oblivious to what was actually happening. Why was Kai laughing like a mad man?

 

"You passed my test! I thought you wouldn't care about me anymore once you get married." Kai pouted jokingly.

 

"What are you talking about? Do you think I'm that type of friend?" To be honest, Luhan wasn't joking -- he was slightly offended.

 

"Ah... Ah ah!" The sunkissed boy began to panic. "Don't make that face! That's my weakness! Luhan, you know I was just joking, right? I know that you're not like that."

 

Luhan's eye twitched, trying to contain his laughter but finally burst out laughing when Kai looked like he was about to cry. Sweet, sweet revenge he got there. "Well, aren't you a scaredy cat? Don't give me this kind of stupid test again, okay? Do I make myself clear?" Luhan gave him the infamous I-am-not-joking-I-swear-you're-gonna-die-next-time glare.

 

"Yes, princess!" Kai gave him a salute before quickly distancing himself from the doe-eyed boy, knowing perfectly what was bound to happen next. 

 

"I told you not to call me princess, idiot!" Luhan flailed his hands around as he tried smacking his friend but Kai was already too much of a pro, dodging it in a second.

 

After what seemed like minutes, Kai and Luhan were both panting hard and decided to call it a day, tired from running around the garden like pre-school children. 

 

Luhan grabbed Kai's water bottle when he was done drinking and the owner of the bottle's heart skipped a beat because was that an indirect kiss? 

 

Luhan looked like he was oblivious to everything and proceeded to hand Kai the water bottle that they both drank from. Kai couldn't stop the fluttering in his stomach so he cleared his throat to ease the tension -- the tension that only he felt because Luhan looked like he hadn't even noticed the indirect kiss.

 

"So, how are things with him?" Kai looked him straight in the eyes. 

 

"Hmm...? We're okay."

 

"Only okay? Where did you guys go for a honeymoon then?" Kai kept on bombarding him with questions.

 

Luhan suddenly felt uncomfortable -- Kai must have caught onto some sort of ill feelings between the couple.

 

"Err... honeymoon?" Luhan thought hard of what lie to tell. There was nothing such as honeymoon in his and Sehun's marriage. "Actually, we planned on going to Jeju-do for our honeymoon but it got canceled at the last minute when Sehun got an emergency call from the hospital." Oh wow. Where did that even come from? Jeju-do? At least Luhan could make up a good excuse. He would never tell anyone about his marriage because that's his own problem to deal with.

 

"What can I do? Marrying a doctor is hard because I know that all of his time can't be mine. He's too busy trying to save lives." Luhan tried to sound convincing although Kai's expression was far from believing.

 

"So does it mean that he doesn't have any time for you?" Their conversation got serious when Kai crossed his arms, his voice growing stern.

 

"No! I'm his spouse, of course, he has some time with me, no matter how busy he is. It's just that it's limited." Luhan felt guilt creeping up as he kept on lying to his friend.

 

"That's great if that's the truth. I'm also hoping for the same. But please... please don't hide anything from me. I know that you're not strong enough to overcome this alone. Trust me." Kai succeeded in making Luhan silent again. The words hit him hard.

 

"I gotta go. My class is starting soon. See you later!" Luhan sat there, still frozen in his spot although Kai was already long gone. 

 

Kai! Why is he the one that understands him the most?

 

 

-

 

 

Luhan stopped walking when he spotted Sehun standing in front of the elevator. His heart felt heavy to be in the same small space as Sehun.

 

Didn't he promise not to invade Sehun's personal space again? Whether he was willing or not, he waited for Sehun to enter the elevator and go up first. As much as he hated it, Luhan would try to continue expanding the space between them.

 

Once he was sure that the elevator had gone up, he pressed the button and waited. The iron box that was supposed to bring Sehun to the 20th floor didn't stop. Instead, it went up to the highest floor which was where the sky deck was located.

 

Luhan was really sure that Sehun was alone when he entered the lift so why didn't he stop at their penthouse? 

 

His curiosity took over so he quickly pressed the same floor button, feeling sick as always because it was so high up. Heck, he could barely control the urge to vomit when living in their penthouse and now he wanted to go to the highest floor? Luhan knew that something was definitely wrong with his head but his curiosity made him more determined. He could be wrong but his intuition told him Sehun was up there.

 

Luhan stood in awe as the amazing view greeted him. A sign that read 'Sky Terrace' was handcrafted on a wooden board and flowers filled every corner of the glass walls. Who knew there were a bar and gym up here? Well, Luhan didn't.

 

Luhan pushed open the door and stepped onto the balcony. At the end, a familiar silhouette stood with their arms crossed, eyes fixed at the calming panorama.

 

The wind blew softly and tousled Luhan's blonde hair as he exhaled heavily, eyes closing with his chest heaving. He was scared of the height, damn it! As he thought of Sehun standing a few metres in front of him, he gathered the courage to open his eyes. 

 

Luhan took a minute to admire the breathtaking view of his husband. How did he get lucky enough to marry someone as beautiful as Sehun? Yet sadly, it wouldn't be long before he handed Sehun to another girl. But why was he alone? Was something bothering him or was he missing Miyoung? Luhan was in a daze. What could he, the weakest person, do to gift Sehun with happiness aside from bringing back his other half?

 

"Hey." Luhan casually greeted as he leant against the rail before retreating back the next second, feeling sick.

 

Sehun shot him a look before going back to admiring the panorama. "What are you doing here?" Luhan suddenly regretted doing something as ridiculous as going to the sky terrace, despite his fear, only to sense the uneasiness in Sehun's tone. He could tell that he'd disturbed Sehun's alone time by his reaction. Well, it was too late to take it back.

 

"Oh! I was just getting some fresh air to ease my strangled brain cells! I didn't know that I'd find you here too." Luhan replied with fake enthusiasm, hoping that Sehun would eat his lie. "You look like you're having a problem." 

 

"No, there's nothing. Pretty much like you, trying to get a sip of fresh air."  Sehun said, not even sparing him a glance.

 

"Then why are you day dreaming, Sehun-ah?" Luhan kept a stoic face and continued asking when he knew that Sehun wouldn't be comfortable. At least Luhan could pull Sehun out of his daydream for a while -- maybe thinking of all his memories together with Miyoung.

 

"Oh... are you thinking of her?" Luhan teased with a mischievous grin but god only knows what he was feeling inside. 

 

When he got no reply from the doctor, leaving Luhan to find out the answer on his own, he continued. "Why don't you follow me somewhere, hm?" 

 

"I'm tired, Luhan-ah. I just want to rest here."

 

"No excuse! Come on, follow me!" Luhan bravely pulled Sehun's arm, urging him forward.

 

"How hard is it to understand what I said? I said I don't want to, I'm tired! Can't you give me some time alone? Didn't you promise not invade my privacy? Have you forgotten it?" Sehun pulled his hand harshly from Luhan's grip.

 

Luhan felt like a cold water was splashed on him. Oh god, he was so embarrassed! Why couldn't he get that Sehun wanted some time alone?

 

"Just... go home. Leave me alone." 

 

"I'm sorry... I forgot my limits. I won't do it again..." 

 

Please heart, please stop crying. 

 

 

-

 

 

Luhan finished preparing dinner by the time the sun set, setting it down on the table. His feet brought him to where his husband's room was located, the door slightly ajar. Sehun was scribbling away with his brows furrowed, sitting comfortably in front of his work table. 

 

The doe-eyed boy unconsciously pushed the door wide open and stepped inside, forgetting to knock.

 

At the sound of his door opening, Sehun shut his book close and glared at him, fidgeting in his seat.

 

"Dinner is ready." He informed, already heading back out the door.

 

"Luhan!"

 

"Yes?" Luhan turned around and looked at the doctor innocently.

 

"Knock first before coming in next time! I hate it when people barge into my room." The taller hissed.

 

Luhan was only able to respond with a small nod before exiting the room. How could he be so foolish enough to forget something as important as that? His appetite was gone now. Sehun could handle eating by himself and Luhan could deal with the dishes tomorrow.

 

Not 5 minutes after he entered his personal space, knocking on the door snapped him out of his thoughts. He hurried to open the door, hoping Sehun still wasn't angry. Why would he be?

 

"Let's go and eat!" 

 

"You can go on and eat alone. I'm still quite full." Luhan politely rejected with a slight grin, trying to look strong on the outside.

 

"Try and listen to others for once. I don't care, get out in five and eat or else don't bother to cook anymore!"

 

As soon as they took their seat around the table, both kept quiet even though Luhan was busy scooping food onto Sehun's plate. Luhan tried to force out a smile but it didn't work.

 

"Stop making that face in front of food." Sehun huffed.

 

Luhan bravely responded with a glare, although not as intimidating as he thought it would be.

 

"Why are you looking at me like that? Mad? How can you be a good friend if I only said that and you got mad so easily?" Sehun said, putting down his chopsticks as he pushed the bowl of rice away from him.

 

"Eat, Sehun-ah. I'm already full." Luhan stood up, giving up on avoiding any arguments because that would harden the tension that was already between them.

 

"Sit!" Sehun grabbed his right arm, pulling him back down onto the seat, his grip too strong to escape from.

 

"Don't ever skip dinner." 

 

It's fine Luhan, it's okay to give up again...

 

"What time does your last class end tomorrow?" Sehun suddenly asked when Luhan was about to chomp down on the fried chicken.

 

"Six!"

 

"As soon as it ends, drop by at my workplace."

 

"Why?"

 

"Just come. I won't take any excuses!"

 

Luhan immediately felt anxious. What was Oh Sehun planning to do?


	15. Orchid

Luhan tightened his grip on the steering wheel, his mind trailing off before starting the engine. He nervously drove to the hospital, anticipating what Sehun was going to do with a bit of fear and excitement. 

 

Suddenly, he thought of something. Wouldn't my presence disturb him? But it was Sehun who told him to come, it wasn't like he volunteered to. He had to reassure himself that he was definitely not disturbing the doctor.

 

The doe-eyed boy stayed in the car waiting for Sehun to complete his task. He didn't have the guts to enter that place, heavy with the smell of medicine and chemicals. After waiting nearly half an hour, accompanied by the ballads playing on the radio, his phone rang with his ringtone blaring EXO's "Monster". The caller ID flashed across the screen and Luhan picked up without waiting a second.

 

"Luhan, you don't need to come. I don't think I can make it today." Sehun had already started with a string of excuses, not even bothering with greeting him.

 

Luhan remained quiet for a few seconds. Oh, how stupid for him to feel crestfallen. He shouldn't even feel this way --  he thought his husband called since he was already thirty mintes late but he had been kidding himself.

 

"Luhan... Hello? Luhan, do you hear me?"

 

"Yeah... yeah, I heard you," Luhan replied shortly, having no idea of how long he had dozed off.

 

"Where are you? Have you arrived?"

 

"Erm... not yet! Actually, I was just about to call you to tell you I can't come since I have an extra class. I'll be home late." He lied nonchalantly. The last thing he wanted to do was make Sehun feel guilty or show how much he was actually dreading their meeting.

 

"Oh, really? That's great! See you later, Luhan." The physician hung up before Luhan even had the chance to say goodbye.

 

A long sigh escaped his rosy lips. He felt stupid, like he was being played. Sehun made Luhan a promise and he broke it so easily. He felt awful, wasting his time waiting for Sehun. It's okay, Luhan. Think of the good things that will happen later.

 

Luhan started his car and slowly reversed it when there was a loud honk behind him, forcing him to break abruptly. His face drained of color, chest heaving in terror. His heart was close to beating right out of his chest, glancing at the side mirror to stare at the car that seemed to come from nowhere, far too close to his own. Luhan scolded himself furiously for being so reckless, for thinking of Sehun too much.

 

A guy with a green t-shirt knocked on his window.

 

"Are you okay?" The guys asked as soon as Luhan lowered his window.

 

"I'm alright. I'm so sorry, doctor, I wasn't paying attention." Luhan exhaled sharply, looking down at the doctor's name tag.

 

"Hey, aren't you Oh Sehun's spouse?" Suho, the doctor, asked with a broad smile.

 

Luhan was startled when the doctor recognised him, wondering if he ever met him before.

 

"Ah, I assume you don't recognise me? I attended your wedding." Suho explained, hiding his laughter when he saw how clueless the pretty male in front of him looked. 

 

"Oh... sorry. I didn't recognise you, doctor." Luhan apologised again. How would he remember Suho when so many of Sehun's colleagues had attended?

 

"It's fine. So, you're here to meet your husband...?"

 

The question caught him off guard -- what should he answer?! He helplessly scratched the back of his neck, sporting a faint smile of relief when there was a sudden honk behind the physician's car.

 

"I have to go! It was nice meeting you, Luhan-ssi. It's true after all, you're much prettier up close. See you later!" The compliment made Luhan's cheeks burn, a tint of crimson adorning his pale face.

 

 

Luhan was left wandering in the streets of Seoul with no idea where his next destination would be. He surely couldn't go home because he'd told Sehun that he would be home late. What if, when he got there, Sehun was already home? Wouldn't that make Sehun doubt his lie? In the end, he opted to stay at the university's parking lot.

 

Loud ringing woke him up from his nap, clearly dazed from having randomly fallen asleep. The soreness was starting to spread in his neck from the awkward position he'd been in. He searched for his phone clumsily, swiping the screen straight away without looking at the caller ID. His mind was groggy and he was sleepy but when the stern voice of Sehun greeted him, he sprang up wide awake.

 

"Luhan, where are you?"

 

"... I'm still at the university." Luhan timidly answered, scared for no reason.

 

"Do you know what time it is right now?" Luhan dropped his gaze onto the dashboard, jaw dropping when he saw it was 11 at night. He didn't know that he fell asleep for that long -- it'd felt like a 5-minute nap.

 

"I fell asleep..." Luhan finally gave in, ashamed.

 

"Come home faster. I haven't eaten yet!" Sehun said, hanging up right after.

 

 

_

 

 

Sehun was sitting comfortably on the sofa, focused on the basketball match playing on the big screen TV. He briefly looked to the right to acknowledge Luhan's presence before focusing on the TV again.

 

"Have you eaten, Sehun-ah?" Luhan walked to the sofa, praying hard for Sehun to say yes.

 

"No."

 

Luhan weakly looked down, feeling guilty. Because of his lateness, Sehun had been starving.

 

"What do you want to eat? I'll cook right now." Luhan offered, putting in all of his effort to force a smile.

 

"Aren't you tired?" Only now did Sehun lock his gaze on Luhan's worn out face.

 

"No matter how tired I am, I'm gonna make sure that you're being fed. You're a doctor, Sehun. If the doctor falls sick, who's going to treat the patients... hm?" Luhan gave Sehun another restless smile, rising from the sofa to make his way to the kitchen.

 

"Luhan." Before he was able to flee, Sehun grabbed his arms, locking him in a stare that was hard for Luhan to interpret.

 

"Why didn't you tell me the truth?" Sehun whispered under his breath but Luhan was still able to hear it, despite his pounding heartbeat.

 

"Truth? What are you talking about?" Luhan asked, eyebrows furrowed.

 

"Why didn't you tell me that you came this evening to meet me? Why do you always try to make me feel at ease?"

 

Luhan kept his head down again. What could he do? His secret was blown. It must have been that guy, Suho or something, that told Sehun.

 

"You are always sacrificing your feelings to make me smile... why?" Sehun kept asking, pushing him for the truth when Luhan was clueless on how to answer.

 

"Why do you keep on making me happy when I've never cared about your feelings?" 

 

Luhan still insisted on keeping his mouth shut, too scared to look up. He feared that he'd no longer be able to hold his tears back in front of his husband and look weak. He didn't want Sehun's sympathy.

 

"You're the one whose causing this problem so please answer my questions. I'm not letting go of you until I get my answer."

 

The words gradually succeeded in making Luhan look up. He was too weak to see his hands in Sehun's grip, fearing that the love he felt for Sehun would keep on blooming. In the end, he decided to answer.

 

"I did it because I didn't want to disturb you... Didn't I promise to give you your own space? Haven't you reminded me too? Did you forget?" He answered without thinking much, speaking from his heart.

 

"It's true that I always try to make you happy, to make you smile when you're with me. I have never given up trying to make you happy. You don't need to ask why because I failed -- I never succeeded in being the reason behind your smiles. I know that you're not comfortable with my presence, right?" As soon as he said that, Sehun loosened his grip and let go of Luhan's hands.

 

"So... you're saying that I'm the one at fault?" Sehun turned his face away, frowning deeply.

 

Should I change what I said earlier? Should I do that?

 

"Sehun, ah... I was joking! You didn't take that seriously, did you?" Luhan clapped his hands softly in front of Sehun's face, dragging him out of his thoughts. Then he chuckled as if he was making fun of Sehun's baffled expression. "Of course, I try hard to make you smile. Do you want to know why?"

 

"It's because... you don't know how to smile at all , Sehun-ah! Have you forgotten how to smile?" Luhan asked teasingly, cocking his head to the side.

 

"Do you know how powerful your smile is? I'm sure that when all of the patients see your smile, they will automatically recover!" Luhan laughed again, clapping his hands enthusiastically as he tried to brighten the atmosphere. "That's the reason why I wanted to make you smile. Amazing, isn't it?" 

 

"Plus I miss my old best friend from high school. You guys have the same name, the same look, even the same height -- eh, wait, definitely not the same height but yeah! The difference is that he always made me smile. Not like you, always trying to sneak in an argument with me." He glared at Sehun, his lips pouting cutely, pretending to sulk.

 

At last, Sehun roared out in laughter when he heard Luhan's explanation. For the first time since they were tied together, Sehun genuinely laughed, leaving Luhan in awe. Luhan never thought what he said could elicit a smile. It was as if the Oh Sehun that he once knew came back to life.

 

"See... you can smile after all. That's what I want!" Luhan shouted cheerfully.

 

"Now, I want you to head to bed and rest, okay? After I'm done with dinner, I'll call you!" Luhan softly pulled Sehun away from the sofa, trying to make him leave as soon as possible. His heart could no longer force down the pain when he needed to act differently from what he was actually feeling. Sehun was still grinning brightly as if, this time, he had forgotten how to stop smiling.

 

"Thank you, Luhan."

 

"Why are you thanking me, hm? I didn't do anything. Now, shuh shuh... go to your room."

 

As soon as Sehun left, the cheerful smile dropped from Luhan's face. He went to the kitchen and immediately fell down on his knees, tears wetting his cheeks.

 

God, please help me. I need strength to continue this facade. Only until Sehun is back with Miyoung, please.

 

 

_

 

 

Sehun put down his chopsticks before clasping his hands together. Luhan was only able to make carbonara tonight since he was short on time. He was glad that Sehun didn't comment about the heavy dish as it was nearly midnight. He even slurped the noodles loudly, beaming at the heavenly taste, leaving Luhan in awe.

 

"So, what do you want?" Sehun asked as he was done gulping down watermelon juice.

 

"What do I want? What?" Luhan replied, moving to head into the kitchen.

 

"I did make a mistake today. I broke my promise. As punishment, you can ask anything that you want from me. That's our deal, remember?"

 

Luhan smiled in return. Truthfully, he had forgotten about the whole punishment thing that they made when they got engaged. But the problem was that he had no idea what to ask for.

 

"Can I save that for later?"

 

"Not at all!" Sehun instantly objected.

 

Luhan thought hard -- it'd be such a waste to not ask for anything.

 

"Aha! I want to be a doctor for a day and replace you... can I?" His eyes twinkled in excitement. He purposely asked for something impossible since he actually had nothing to ask for.

 

"Stop playing around!" Sehun warned.

 

"Okay, okay, geez. Such an old man."

 

"Please, Luhan. You're older than me." 

 

"Stop reminding me! I still look younger than you, old man!" Luhan stuck his tongue out, irritated.

 

He looked around the house for some inspiration of what to ask. "Ha! I want you... to put my picture on your bedside table? How about that?" Again, he came up with a ridiculous idea, hoping that Sehun would give him more time to think of an actual request.

 

Sehun stared at the stairs longingly as if he was actually looking at his bedroom, hinting that what he said was troublesome. Luhan tried to break the awkward silence, clearing his throat.

 

"Sehun-ah, you really... you really believe all of my nonsense? That was the biggest joke of the country! I was kidding around. Why would you put my face beside your bed? There's no benefit." Sehun's expression was making him regret the whole thing in the first place. See! That was why you shouldn't joke around with someone dead serious like Sehun. Just like that, Luhan had ruined the mood.

 

"I don't really have any idea right now. It's fine, you don't need to fulfil anything." Luhan raised the white flag, giving up.

 

"Let's see tomorrow... if I have any time, I'm gonna go and buy the frame. Just give me your picture. Later, I'll put it beside my bed." Sehun suddenly replied, catching Luhan off guard.

 

"You don't need to! I was only joking around." Luhan protested. It was true, he wasn't serious at all with his request -- it was only something he'd stupidly blurted out.

 

"Haven't I told you before? Only genuine requests are accepted. The doctor one is impossible and the second one was much more relevant. You can't take that back!" Sehun spoke with more fervour.

 

"Take this as a lesson. Next time, think deeply before making a request." Did Luhan's request bring a heavy burden to Sehun's shoulders?

 

"I'm going to bed." Sehun sat up. "Oh, I nearly forgot... I also have one chance to ask for a request, right?"

 

"Why? What did I do?"

 

"You changed the wall colour to white and put up floral wallpaper -- which does look good. But you did it all without my permission... doesn't that count as a fault too?"

 

Luhan turned his eyes to the wall, silently admitting his mistake. "What do you want in return?" Sehun looked like he already had a request and Luhan suddenly felt uncomfortable.

 

"Please remain my friend as long as time goes on. I feel comfortable with how we are right now. Isn't this comfortable? We're best friends, right?" Sehun said calmly after remaining quiet for a few minutes.

 

"You can count that as achieved because I will always remain your friend as long as I live. You don't need to worry. Everything is clear now." Luhan forced out a grin and a chuckle, wanting to look like the request was nothing for him to fulfil. His heart, though, was clearly bleeding from the words he said himself.

 

"Good! I'm going to bed now." Sehun smiled broadly. "Goodnight, see you tomorrow and have sweet dreams!" He smiled again, increasing Luhan's pain.

 

 

_

 

 

Luhan quickly accepted the video call request from Baekhyun. He missed his best friend, nobody had any idea! They haven't been talking much since Baekhyun was always busy with his workshop.

 

"STUPID PARK CHANYEOL AND HIS STUPID YODA EARS! TIDY UP THE APARTMENT, PLEASE?!" Baekhyun's irritated face appeared on the laptop screen.

 

"Well, hello to you too, Baek." Luhan greeted with sarcasm, unfazed by his friend's loud voice. Did he accidentally swallow a microphone when he was born?

 

"But wait! Did I just hear you say Park Chanyeol?!" 

 

"Hello, my dear best friend! Yep, you didn't hear wrong. Remember that guy that brought you to the hospital before? Park Chanyeol? Yes, him, together with me in my apartment in Paris. You know what? I have no idea what he's doing here apart from being an annoying dumbass, intruding on my perfect life with his 'my mother owns this apartment I can sleep here whenever I want' bullshit."

 

Of course, the memory of him fainting nearly a year ago was still clear in his mind. Luhan knew Park Chanyeol, the tall lanky guy that helped him; he also knew that the brown haired guy was majoring in business, the only heir of the Park Corporation.

 

"Oh, really?!" Luhan asked, surprised at the sudden information. "Good thing that he fits the standard of your ideal man, Baek."

 

"WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ME SHARING AN APARTMENT WITH HIM?!"

 

Luhan covered his ears. "Oh my god, my ears are bleeding. Quiet down a bit, huh? Why are you so worked up over that, Baek? Unless you really think he's your ideal type." Luhan teased the brunette again, having fun watching Baekhyun fidget.

 

"No way! Who even likes that ugly stupid asshole. He did nothing but annoy the crap out of me since he arrived last week!" 

 

"Then why are you blushing, Baek? The screen's super HD and I can see your red cheeks~" Luhan continued teasing him.

 

"Shut up! I'm just very, very, very mad at that Park Chanyeol guy! Can you believe that he refused me when I told him to hang his own laundry?" And blah blah blah, yadda yadda yadda -- much more of Byun Baekhyun's whining.

 

Luhan fell asleep listening to Baekhyun's never ending whining, which sounded an awfully lot like a lullaby to him since it was night time in Korea.

 

Baekhyun ended up watching the elder's soft sleeping features with a fatherly smile -- his baby was now married. It was such a pity that Luhan's husband was on night duty. He wanted to see the man Luhan was smitten with, even if it was on screen.

 

Baekhyun swore he saw a figure approaching Luhan's silhouette while watching the pretty male sleep, barely able to stop himself from shrieking.

 

And he smiled afterwards when the figure, who was no other than Oh Sehun, draped the blanket carefully over Luhan's petite figure as he fixed his husband's uncomfortable position. Sehun's face grew closer to the screen and Baekhyun screamed internally when he placed a chaste kiss to Luhan's forehead.

 

Seems like God was still on Luhan's side, the boy fast asleep, or else he'd be bothering Luhan about why the two weren't sleeping in the same room together.

 

In the end, someone would have to face the wrath of Byun Baekhyun -- and his hapkido skills.


	16. Peony

Luhan politely greeted a woman in her mid-thirties as his eyes wandered scrutinized the interior design of the clinic -- he couldn't help but be mesmorized by how the white furniture complimented the pastel blue walls so well.

 

"How can I help you, dear?"

 

"I'm here to see Doctor Wu Yifan, does he happen to be here right now?"

 

Wu Yifan, or Kris, was not an unfamiliar name in Luhan's life. A good friend of Sehun's back in the day, he was the only reason why Luhan was standing inside the well-decorated clinic seeking information.

 

Kris, the tall guy who girls used to swoon over, had been well known as a student for hisgood looks and basketball skills. Luhan knew him as well... knew him a little too well, in fact. How could he not know him well when they'd shared something back in high school? It was a secret that nobody knew. Sehun? Maybe he had no idea either. It was almost impossible for Kris to tell him.

 

"I apologise, sir. It seems like Doctor Wu won't be here for the next two months."

 

"May I ask why?" 

 

"He in Japan for a business trip, sir."

 

"Oh... If that's the case, could you possibly pass along a message for me?"

 

"Yes, sure."

 

"Once he gets back, can you tell him to call me as soon as possible? Tell him it's an urgent matter." Luhan stated as he handed her his card.

 

"Thank you for helping..." He smiled at her before exiting the clinic.

 

The sun was sweltering hot although it was barely ten o'clock in the morning. He figured there was nothing to do since he was on a _long_ holiday, being both unemployed and a recent university graduate.  _Christmas shopping sounds good!_ He thought as a broad grin spread on his face. Yes! Nothing was better than retail therapy.

 

 

_

 

 

_"Luhan! We're finally free from assignments and lectures, hooray!" Kai screamed at the top of his lungs as he latched onto the deer-eyed boy, startling him with a warm embrace._

 

_"There, there, boy." Luhan laughed, patting the sunkissed boy's hair softly. "It's been a good 2 minutes now, will you get off me, pretty please. You're as heavy as a pregnant pig. I think I might break a bone or two."_

 

_Kai broke the hug, not because of Luhan's request but because of a furious looking Oh Sehun standing a few metres away from them with his arms crossed. Luhan was still oblivious to his presence as he chuckled lovingly at Kai, unable to tell how tense the atmosphere had become._

 

_"Lu, I thought you said he wasn't able to come."_

 

_"Well, yeah. He's busy and my parents are abroad anyways." Luhan stated matter of factly, shrugging like he wasn't affected by no one attending his graduation ceremony -- which was, of course, a big fat lie._

 

_The conversation he'd shared with Sehun the night before tugged at his heart. He was really looking forward to Sehun being there as he watched Luhan go on stage and receive his diploma but to no avail -- the doctor said his schedule was fully packed so he wouldn't be able to come._

 

_How sad... and then Luhan's parents, out of nowhere, informed him two days before the ceremony that they couldn't come and they were sending apologies. Their company was fighting for a new branch to be opened in Dubai so they had a lot of meetings to attend. Luhan dismissed them quickly, saying it was fine because the company was far more important than his graduation day. They could always select a new date to celebrate, right?_

 

_**Do you really think so, Luhan?** _

 

_He refused to answer the question that lingered in his head. No one cared anyway._

 

_"Hmm, really...? Mind explaining that?" Luhan snapped out of his thoughts when Kai began talking, his gaze following the boy's pointed finger._

 

_Luhan's bright smile instantly dropped when he saw the lean figure standing a few feet behind him. If looks could kill, Luhan would definitely be dead by now, judging from the piercing eyes that stared at him._

 

_"S-Sehun..." Luhan gasped quietly. How on earth did the doctor make it there?_

 

_**Well, duh, by car.** _

 

_"Hello, graduates. Am I interrupting something?" Sehun calmly greeted the stunned boys, eyes never seeming to leave Luhan's face. Luhan looked anywhere but his husband. He was worried -- what if Sehun's mad?_

 

_"Oh, hey! Actually, no." Kai gave him a brief look of acknowledgement._

 

_"Luhan, I'll see you later! My parents are here." Kai excused himself in the midst of awkward tension._

 

_Luhan was feeling bewildered inside, nearly having a heart attack when Sehun moved forward and wrapped his arms around his fragile body, congratulating him with a warm embrace and a millisecond kiss to his spouse's forehead._

 

_Even if it was only half a second, everybody had already whipped their heads around and looked on at the affectionate scene initiated by the school's flower boy and his surreal looking husband with awe. As expected, only a minute later, Twitter was filled with newly-captured pictures of Luhan and his husband, buzzing about how good they looked together._

 

_"Congrats, Luhan." Sehun said hastily, breaking their hug but still sliding an arm around Luhan's waist._

 

_Luhan felt like his heart was about to jump out of his chest. They might look like a happy couple on the outside but only they knew how fake it was. They were fooling everyone; everything was only pretend._

 

_"S-Sehun... Let go of me, please. Everyone's looking at us." Luhan whispered miserably, hiding his flushed face against Sehun's broad shoulder out of self-consciousness. His anxiety grew the more he could feel all of the eyes on them. Luhan didn't even care about the arms around him, all he cared about was getting away from the unwanted attention. His grip on Sehun's jacket tightened, shoulders shaking uncontrollably from his panic attack._

 

_Sehun kept his calm expression steadily; he'd dealt with many of Luhan's panic attacks before but still looked worried as he gently guided Luhan out of the hallway. He bowed to a few professors on their way out, Luhan clinging onto his arm and face still buried in his neck. Some onlookers looked guilty while others were clearly worried._

 

 _Kai had been standing in the corner, silently watching them because he knew that Sehun was an experienced doctor and obviously knew what he was doing. Luhan once told him about his past and his constant panic attacks back in high school but Kai had never seen it with his own eyes until today. Luhan_ _had even said that they'd stopped a couple of years ago._

 

_As he eyed the couple, he couldn't deny that they looked good together just like everybody said. Sehun and Luhan literally looked like a match made in heaven. Did he ever stand a chance in feeling so blessed?_

 

_Luhan woke up, his head feeling dull as his vision spun. There was a jacket draped over him, shielding him from the bite of the air-conditioner. He turned his head to the side and saw his husband driving, unaware that Luhan was already awake. Luhan closed his eyes again, trying to soothe his mind and stop the headache._

 

_Only five minutes later did he remember why his head hurt, why he felt so sick._

 

_The graduation ceremony._

 

_The stares._

 

_The panic attack._

 

_But the rest was so blurry._

 

_"What happened?" Luhan asked groggily, fingers massaging his temples._

 

_Sehun seemed startled by Luhan's voice, thanking the heavens that they were stopped at a red light. "You had a panic attack." He replied shortly, his eyes scanning Luhan's features, taking note of how pale he seemed._

 

_Luhan groaned loudly, feeling his headache turn into a migraine. It was as if he could only feel pain pounding against his skull. It had been a while since he'd had a migraine and he had no idea how to deal with it._

 

_Sehun glanced at him worriedly. "Here, take these." He handed the sick boy a water bottle and a packet of paracetamol with his left hand, eyes still focused on the road._

 

_Luhan only whimpered softly, eyes shut tightly as he fought the throbbing in his head._

 

_Sehun checked on him several minutes later and saw that Luhan was already asleep, wrapped in his black jacket. He sighed in relief before continuing to the penthouse._

 

 

___

 

 

Luhan smiled at the bittersweet memory as he spooned chocolate mint ice cream into his mouth. Really, even after a few years, he still wasn't used to receiving attention. But what could he do? The last time he got a panic attack was when he broke down after knowing Sehun had left with his girlfriend, which was roughly 6 years ago. He had no clue why he'd had the sudden panic attack -- perhaps he was under too much pressure.

 

Next to his chair laid stacks of bags from designer stores. An Armani suit -- his parents always threw a formal party for Christmas celebration and he was expected to look his best. A bracelet by Cartier, which wasn't on the shopping list but he still bought it because it caught his attention. Obviously, he  _needed_ to buy it or else he wouldn't be able to sleep peacefully. Several pieces of new clothing from luxurious brands; all thick and warm as the weather grew colder.

 

Truth be told, he wasn't the type to spend his money unwisely, it was just that everything was on sale so _I have to have it all, it's so shiny and pretty._  It was one thing that Luhan and Baekhyun had in common, the reason they clicked so well.

 

_"You bring those two shopping together and an hour later, you can already hear your bank account crying. You can, however, be proud of yourself for being so brave in daring to tag along with them."_

 

Their only reliable source was Kai since he'd gone shopping with them and in a snap, half of his bank account was drained! No, Luhan and Baekhyun didn't spend your money for their _themselves_  but on Kai himself, picking out all kinds of suitable things. Of course he was thankful for their taste in clothing but he'd lost so much money in an instant.

 

_"Good thing I can reuse all of these paper bags! Tsk, such a waste." Kai snorted as he picked up a paper bag with 'Versace' across the front._

 

_"First of all, we aren't wasting your money. Secondly, you dress like you're homeless. Be thankful, you little shit." Baekhyun snapped, turning his head to look at Luhan for agreement._

 

_Luhan only nodded quietly because, well, Kim Jongin did dress like a beggar -- he looked quite pitiful. It wasn't like Kai was broke! Heck, he was the son of KI Banking Group, he could afford more expensive things._

 

_"Sometimes it's nice to dress better." Luhan grinned apologetically as he scratched his nape._

 

_Kai looked at him, offense written all over his face._

 

_"Whatever, as long as it's comfortable, I'll wear it." Kai huffed, giving up since he knew he couldn't stand up for himself against the two. "I still don't get it! You called something that cost 10 bucks expensive but then you guys go insane over something ten times the price. Such girls..."_

 

_A Gucci boot -- that totally **wasn't** Baekhyun's -- came flying in Kai's direction, hitting him right in the forehead._

 

_Baekhyun's 9 years of Hapkido weren't for nothing._

 

Luhan was so lost in his own thoughts that he bumped into someone, causing some of the contents from the paper bags to scatter everywhere and the other's phone to fall from his grasp. "What the fu--?" His breath hitched and his eyes widened when he saw who he bumped into.

 

"Oh my god, Baek!" Luhan screeched, jumping up and down, forgetting the mess on the floor. It'd been nearly 3 months since they'd last seen each other and Baekhyun didn't say a single word about him returning to Korea when they video-called a week ago. _How dare he?!_ And with that, he punched the diva right in the face.

 

"What the fuck, Lu?!" Baekhyun yelled as people gazed at them strangely. Luhan smiled widely as he engulfed his best friend in a hug.

 

"You didn't tell me that you were coming back for Christmas! How dare you? I thought I was your best friend! Do you know how much I missed you, idiot?!" Luhan screamed as he tightened the hug. God only knows how much he longed for the presence of his beat friend.

 

"I missed you too, babe." Baekhyun murmured with a genuine smile as he patted down Luhan's fluffy hair.

 

Too busy in their own world, Luhan failed to notice a relatively tall figure who walked up next to Baekhyun.

 

Park Chanyeol stood there, his arms awkwardly hanging by his side. He was trying to pretend it wasn't weird that two grown boys were hugging in the middle of a shopping mall. He proceeded to pick up the contents that were scattered everywhere and Baekhyun's phone, looking for any damages.

 

 

_

 

 

Luhan gulped down his blueberry juice and then wiped his mouth clean with a napkin before eyeing Chanyeol, who was still preoccupied with his iPad, eyebrows furrowed as he stared at the screen.

 

Luhan quietly told Baekhyun how Chanyeol looked so neat and clean, from his looks to his attitude, but Baekhyun begged to differ. He claimed that Chanyeol was the most disgusting person he'd ever met besides Kai with his homeless wardrobe.

 

They talked for hours, with Chanyeol interrupting them once in a while when Baekhyun was talking about Paris, looking defensive when Baekhyun talked about a _certain_   _roommate_  who never picked up after himself.

 

"Luhan."

 

Luhan turned around abruptly and gasped when he saw Oh Sehun walking towards their table. Chanyeol looked up, oblivious to who they were staring at.

 

"Let's go home." Sehun ordered, hand reaching out for Luhan's.

 

Luhan stumbled from his chair and bid goodbye to the still confused Chanyeol, telling to send his regards to Baekhyun who was in the restroom. Before he was able to gather up the paper bags, his husband was already holding them, assuring Luhan that it was fine.

 

Luhan gave Chanyeol one last bow -- after all, he was still a stranger to Luhan who once helped send him to the hospital.

 

"Where's my driver?" Luhan asked as he buckled up. His car was in the shop because it had some engine problem so it was always Mr. Lee who would bring him anywhere he wanted for the past 5 days. Thank goodness that he no longer had to go to classes so there was no need to burden him. Luhan only stayed inside, entertaining himself with sappy romantic movies and pints of ice cream. _Ha, it felt so good to be free._

 

"He's busy." 

 

Luhan tilted his head to the side. _Why didn't the driver give him a call instead?_

 

The question floating around in his head was quickly answered by Sehun, as if he knew what he was thinking.

 

"He called me and told me where you are because you weren't picking up." 

 

Luhan pressed the power button of his phone for confirmation and realised that it was dead. "Sorry... I didn't notice that I ran out of battery."

 

A pregnant silence filled the air and Luhan looked out the window, slowly drifting off to the steady voices of the radio.

 

"How long were you at the mall? You didn't tell me you were going out today." Sehun's tone hardened.

 

Luhan bit his lip nervously, knowing that Sehun would ask that. He was so screwed. "First of all... sorry for not telling you about going out. Second, sorry for wasting your time and making you pick me up. Lastly, sorry for burdening you. I swear it won't happen again."

 

"Please, Luhan..." Sehun's laughter erupted through the car. 

 

_He isn't mad?_

 

"What are you sorry for, Luhan-ah? You're my friend, you can go anywhere you want without my permission. That's your own choice."

 

Luhan stared at him in disbelief, still unable to accept that Sehun wasn't mad at him. What was he so nervous about then?! He forced out a smile as Sehun grinned at him, unknowingly causing Luhan to endure more pain. Secretly, he was yearning for Sehun to get mad since it was a sign that his husband actually cared for him; he should seriously stop expecting too much.

 

"Can I ask you a question?"

 

"Yeah, sure..."

 

"Do you remember back on the sky terrace, when you told me that you wanted to bring me somewhere? Where did you want to bring me?" Sehun kept on looking at him, unmoved until he got the answer.

 

"You looked so gloomy that day... I thought of bringing you to have some fun at a park near the Han River."

 

"Bring me there." It was more of a command instead of a question. Luhan sat there dumbfounded.  _Why all of sudden?_

 

"But Sehun... It's almost five! Traffic is about to get bad." Luhan gave him the first excuse he could think of. He wasn't in the mood to go anywhere but home.

 

"I don't care. You went out with that elf dude today so you need to bring me somewhere too." Sehun muttered. Luhan tilted his head to the side, sporting a sheepish grin when Sehun addressed Chanyeol as the 'elf dude'. Sehun must not have noticed Baekhyun was there too since ge was in the restroom. Was Sehun jealous? Luhan laughed internally. 

 

_No matter how mature you look and sound Sehun-ah, it still doesn't change the fact that you're younger than me._

 

 

_

 

 

The breathtaking view of the Han River and a fresh breeze greeted them as soon as they stepped out of the car. From the parking lot, they could already see all of the visitors engaged in their own activities; some were cycling, some were taking their pets for a walk. What caught Sehun's attention the most was the variety of kites decorating the blue sky; all the colors made him calm and happy.

 

Luhan felt the same -- looking at the kites made him feel free. It felt like a burden had een lifted from his shoulders, dissolving into the evening air.

 

"Where are we heading?"

 

"This park is big... there's a bike rental, a river, a playground, and a place to play with kites." Luhan hummed in thought. "There's even an ice cream parlour."

 

"Alright then... If that's the case, let's just talk a walk." Luhan complied, walking next to Sehun soundlessly.

 

"This place isn't too bad." Sehun muttered, eyes sparkling a bit in excitement. Although Luhan wasn't looking at his expression, he knew his husband had a slight smile.

 

Sehun's step came to a halt, his gaze directed to something. Luhan felt his heart shifting when he followed Sehun's stare; it was a woman, dressed in purple and sitting alone as she watched the kids trying to fly their kites. Luhan stared up at Sehun, who was still busy looking at the woman.  _Could that be Miyoung? His lover?_  An uneasy feeling started to creep up on him.

 

"What are you looking at, Sehun?" He asked purposely. Sehun was startled, turning to look at Luhan after casting the purple woman one last glance.

 

"Nothing."

 

"Do you know her?" He needed to know the truth. If that woman was Miyoung, he wouldn't have to go and bother finding her. That also meant everything wouldbe over soon.

 

"No," Sehun answered softly, continuing his steps forward.

 

After hearing that, Luhan had to come to his own conclusion. If that woman wasn't Miyoung, it must have been her dress that distracted Sehun. Maybe he missed Miyoung after seeing that purple dress, since he hadn't smiled since laying his eyes on her. Sehun kept walking, drowning into his own thoughts and ignoring Luhan by his side.

 

Sehun stopped a few minutes later and took a seat by the kites, staring at how the wind gently lifted the kites into the air. Luhan fixed his eyes on Sehun even though his husband didn't spare him a single glance. He knew that Sehun was feeling down, probably from missing her too much.

 

"Sehun, I'm going to the car to fetch something." Luhan stood from the bench after Sehun nodded his head. A new idea came to mind and Luhan really hoped that it would calm Sehun down.

 

Luhan grabbed a marker from the car before making his way to the stands, where kites in a variety of shapes and colours were displayed. He quickly paid for one before walking back towards Sehun.

 

"Here! This is for you." Luhan handed him the kite and marker.

 

"For me? What should I do with it?" Sehun held the purple and yellow patterned kite.

 

"Actually, there is a lot of ways for us to tell the world what we're feeling inside. One of the ways is this. Have you ever heard of a kite message?" Luhan asked as he pointed to the kite. To be honest, he didn't actually know if it existed because he made it up a few minutes ago.

 

"Kite message? What's that? I don't get it."

 

"Oh... It's like this, Sehun-ah, you miss Miyoung, right?" Luhan smiled, faking that he wasn't affected by his own question. "You don't need to keep it all to yourself. Today, I will teach you one way to express your longing. Take this marker."

 

"What should I do with it?"

 

"Didn't you say you wanted to know what a kite message is? I'm telling you what to do right now." Luhan grinned. "These are the steps. First, just write whatever you want on this kite, cut it, and let it fly away. Who knows? Maybe this kite will bring your message to her."

 

"What kind of nonsense... How will this kite be able to locate her? How can I trust it?"  Sehun frowned.

 

"I didn't tell you to trust this kite. You only need to trust God that it'll be delivered."

 

"Even if this message isn't able to reach that person, I'm sure you'll feel relieved because you can finally let out your feelings. But if you aren't convinced... it's fine. It's just an idea." Seeing Sehun still gazing skeptically at the kite, Luhan hurried to grab it back.

 

"What do I write on this kite?" Sehun refused to give it back.

 

"Just write whatever you're feeling," Luhan smiled, relieved that maybe this could help Sehun relieve his pain.

 

Sehun stared at the kite for a while, holding the uncapped marker. Luhan felt his heart beating fast, wondering what kind of message Sehun was keeping for Miyoung all this time.

 

Luhan was starting to get bored waiting for Sehun to write his heart's will. _Or is it me that's holding him back from writing it?_ Yes! Maybe that was the reason.

 

"Sehun-ah... I'm a bit hungry, I'm going to get ice cream. Take your time!" Luhan said, dusting off his pants and walking away after Sehun muttered a small 'okay'.  He kept on walking, unable to stop himself from turning around to glance at his husband. Sehun was already beginning to write something on the kite and Luhan was itching to know what it was. What could possibly be Sehun's message to Miyoung?

 

When Luhan got back from the ice cream parlour, he stood quite far away from Sehun's vision since he did tell the latter that he was going to hand out at the playground, which was quite a distance from the kite section. Sehun was smiling brightly when his kite flew into the air with the help of a little boy. He looked so confident and happy as if he was sure that the kite would bring his message to Miyoung.

 

Luhan's gaze never left the sky, keeping watch on one certain kite. He prayed that the kite would fall near him. After a while, Sehun left for no reason, leaving the kite to float away.

 

Luhan sighed in disappointment when the kite disappeared out of site. He plopped down on a swing at the playground, munching his ice cream that no longer taste good because it had melted, sticking to his fingers. When he felt something drop on his shoulder, he brushed it away, thinking that it might be dry leaves.

 

Realising that it was too big to be a dry leaf, he glanced behind him and his eyes widened in shock. Sehun's kite, lying lifelessly on the grass, right within his grasp! When Luhan flipped the kite, his breath hitched.

 

 

> _With all of my heart, I swear... I won't ever love again. -Sehun_

 

Luhan's hands shook. The sky felt like it fell on top of him, knocking him out. Why did he feel like the message wasn't directed to Miyoung but actually to him? About their whole marriage? Why was he stupid enough to not notice it? Why did he secretly hope for Sehun to love him? It hurt because it was too damn obvious that Sehun would never be able to fall for him!

 

Luhan threw the kite behind him, no longer wanting to look at it. He knew that he had no chance. He will never have a chance! Why couldn't he get this through his thick brain?

 

"Ouch!"

 

Luhan quickly wiped his tears with the hem of his sweatshirt before turn towards the sound of that angelic voice.

 

"Clara!" He shouted, surprised at her sudden presence. By her expression and the hands pressed to her forehead, Luhan guessed the kite hit her when he threw it so carelessly. Clara squatted to retrieve the kite in front of her.

 

"Oh, my god! I'm so sorry...!"

 

"It's okay. You didn't purposely do it, did you?" She chuckled lovingly. "Why did you throw this?"

 

Her question caught him off guard as he listened to her reading what was written on the kite out loud. "Do you have a problem with Sehun?".

 

"No. Nothing... What are you doing here?" Luhan denied while trying to change the subject.

 

"I always visit this place. I saw you earlier and I called you a few times, but you didn't hear me."

 

"Ah... really? Sorry, I  didn't hear you." Luhan apologised.

 

"It's okay! Emm... alright then. See you next time! Don't forget to send my regards to Sehun. Bye!"

 

After they exchanged goodbyes, she left.

 

Luhan furrowed his eyebrows. It was weird -- why did Clara take the kite with her?  _Maybe she wanted to throw it away. It's better that way. I wouldn't have to look at it again._

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  



End file.
